Ready Or Not
by adcgordon
Summary: A love without trust is not a love at all. A love when trust is lost is scarred for life. Can a young actress forgive and forget, or will a previous love become the one she should have never left?
1. Prologue

**A/N: First, thank you for reading and giving this work an opportunity! Readers who have sampled my other works know where my inspiration lies. So please, rest assured that my KTZLF'ing continues. ;)**

**Second, I love hearing from readers - good, bad or indifferent, your feedback serves to push me and make my writing better. So please, let me know what you think. Please feel free to review, p.m., FaceBook, or even email me if you'd like. I'd like to hear/see what you think!**

**Third, this chapter is just a taste of this story. More is posted already on FanFic's sister site, FictionPress dot com. If you like the prologue, please look for more on that website. Search for me, adcgordon, or this story, Ready Or Not, for continuing chapters. I _will_probably post the story in its entirety here on FanFic once it is completed and posted on the other site.**

**Last but not least, A HUMONGOUS thank you to cncgrad for your continued support, ideas, and pulling me in from the ledge numerous times! Also to jerrysgirl – you are ever present in my thoughts and heart. And to Addy, Bluebell and others already peeking at my FicPress works, bless you for attempting to keep up with me! LOL ;)**

**Now…enough said…**

* * *

**READY OR NOT - PROLOGUE**

The 24 year old actor sat at a corner table on the patio of the bistro where he had instructed another young man to meet him. He took long deep breaths as he situated his chair behind the shadow of the table's umbrella. The sandy-haired man focused on nothing in particular and graciously accepted the bottle of beer that the waiter delivered to him with a simple, unsmiling "Thank you".

He had a lot on his mind. He had a dark haired young woman in his thoughts; she, plus this 21 year old that he wanted to speak with, had occupied a majority of his time for the past month – the past three weeks in particular.

"Mr. Alexander?" One of the restaurant's managers approached him quietly but almost excited as he stretched out his hand.

Zac looked at the older fellow and ran a single finger over his chin, raking against the slight stubble that had formed there after a couple of days without shaving. He didn't stand, but held his hand out to the manager and gave a firm shake.

"I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Nate will be your waiter. If you need anything you just let him know," the man gave a friendly smile watching Zac Alexander's facial features relax for a split second.

"I am expecting someone. If…Nate…can give me about 15 minutes before getting our order I'd appreciate it." The young actor didn't like to take advantage of being recognized by management – most of the time. Today, however, he figured he'd use it to his benefit.

"Yes, Sir, that will _not_ be a problem," the manager insisted. With a nod he turned and walked straight toward the college-aged boy who was basically told to be Mr. Alexander's personal servant during his time at their small location that afternoon.

Zac again took in a deep breath and looked out at the traffic moving down the street. He lifted the beer bottle to his lips and took a slow drink. He held the bottle between his palms for a couple of minutes just spinning it back and forth as he tried to clear his mind and prepare the words he wanted to say to his guest _if_ he accepted the invitation.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

A short ten minutes passed before an additional shadow was cast over the small outdoor table. Zac looked up into the face of the taller, blond-haired man. The two looked at each other without any sort of greeting or hint of familiarity. No words were spoken, no gestures offered, until Zac finally used his head to point to the second chair at the table.

"Why don't you have a seat, Acer."

The blond took his seat and the uncomfortable silence spread.

Zac took another drink from his bottle and tapped his toe against the concrete floor while looking at his hand on the beer. He finally looked up at the younger man.

"I wasn't sure you'd show up."

"Neither was I," Acer mumbled in Zac's direction. "I'm not sure this is a great idea, us being seen together."

Zac raised his eyebrows, cocked his head and shrugged a shoulder. "I really could care less about that. I stopped caring about pictures in the rag magazines about a year ago. Honestly, I thought that's what you were after."

Acer sat up straighter, his back muscles tensing as he gritted his teeth. "That's a low blow Alexander. I can't help that Anessa likes being seen out in public with me. Face time is part of being a celebrity isn't it? All three of us are smart enough to know that popularity is crucial in our line of work. If it makes you feel better to believe that's why she's with me, go right ahead. It's no skin off my back."

"Whatever," Zac shook his head. "I think we're all beyond that right now. She apparently doesn't want to be seen out in public with you or anybody else right now. That's why you and I need to talk."

The young waiter approached, giving the two men a chance to think about what Zac had just said. Acer ordered a sandwich and iced coffee while Zac requested water and a salad which he knew he likely wouldn't touch.

When Nate walked away Acer shifted in his seat and eyed Zac across the table. "So why did you call me, Zac? I get the feeling this conversation is _not_ going to benefit me."

"Depends on how you look at things, I suppose," Zac offered sarcastically.

"Look, I know Anessa's at your place and she's been there for almost three weeks now. I don't know what kind of hold you think you have on her…" Acer jabbed.

"I didn't _ask_ her to come back to me," Zac snapped back quietly. "She hasn't _come back to me_. I came home one night and she was in _my_ bed…asleep. That's where she wanted to be; _her_ choice, not mine. She is my _friend_. I can't help it if she chose to come to me instead of you. But I'm going to support her. I don't like seeing her hurt."

"Well neither do _I,_" Acer hissed through his teeth. His angry face peered across at Zac's just waiting for the next line to be spoken.

Zac took a few breaths to calm himself and sat back in his chair. "You may not _like_ to see her hurt but you've made a mistake that _is_ hurting her. And we both know that. That's the reason she's at my house right now. Some things cross the line Roberts. You crossed it when you broke her trust." The older actor shook his head, gathering his thoughts.

"You're young, Acer, but you know she's been hurt by other people she's trusted. She puts up this wall and pretends to trust people but it's not that easy. You have to climb that wall and prove it to her. And apparently you did that… Then all of a sudden…" Zac held both his hands off the table and looked at the man across from him. "What the hell were you thinking? She trusts you… or at least she did."

"Don't sit here and tell me what kind of crap _I'm_ putting her through. I didn't come here for a lecture. Not from you of all people…"

Zac shook his head strongly. "Stop before you finish that thought. Anessa and I didn't end because of trust. She still trusts me and I trust her. So don't even try to play that card. If she didn't trust me she wouldn't be at my place right now. You and I both know that."

Acer threw his head back in frustration and then shook his short mane of hair, "What game are you playing? Why am I here? What's this little meeting supposed to accomplish? I've tried to talk to her. I've gone to her – hell, I went to your place last week to try and talk to her. She wouldn't even let me through the gate and barely spoke to me. She won't talk to me. The last time I saw her face to face is when you forced her to meet with me two weeks ago. Since then…" he shook his head and rolled his eyes as Zac picked up the words.

"Since then she's gone into her own little world where trust isn't an issue. It's where she trusts herself and where she _thinks_ she can straighten things out on her own, in her mind, without asking for anyone else's help." His explanation made sense. As mad as Acer wanted to be at Zac he knew – he was smart enough to realize – that there was a level of understanding in Zac's heart and mind that Acer could only wish to have when it came to the woman that they both loved.

"I didn't come here to confront you. I didn't _invite_ you here to lecture you. I _don't _dislike you, Acer. Right now there's a part of me that _hates_ you – for what you've done to Ani and for the fact that she's found someone else," he practically mumbled. "But I also know that there's part of her that loves you. And she is so confused right now. Every little piece of a conversation that we have is just..." Zac looked off to the side of the table and sighed as he gave his head a slight shake.

The younger man's walls began to crumble, at least momentarily, as he watched Zac's concerned face. "So, what am I supposed to do?" Acer asked as he placed his hands on the table linking his fingers together. "She won't talk to me, Zac. She won't talk, she won't listen; she won't see me. I'm damned confused, too. I realize I've hurt her. But if she won't even listen to my apologies…if she won't let me try to make this right between us…what am I supposed to do? Spell it out for me, please. I want her to trust me again…but she's at _your_ house. She _trusts _you. Are you telling me she hasn't run back to you?"

Zac shook his head, a slight sigh of defeat escaping his lips. "Acer, she's at my place because she feels safe there. Not because she's come back to me. Ani knows I still love her. _You_ know that. There's never been a question about that. Even if she didn't tell you that, I hope you had enough sense to realize it." Zac's shoulders slouched at the weight of the emotions he continued to carry. "She _knows_ I love her and I'll do anything to take her hurt away. But what she's feeling right now? I can't take it away. It's there. But I can give her an option that could ease it."

"Tell her to talk to me again, please," Acer's voice practically pleaded. "Tell her to give me a chance. _I_ love her, too, and she _knows_ that. She _can _trust me. I messed up once, but I won't again. But I need to tell her. I can't convince her of that if she won't let me. Face to face I need to tell her."

Zac's jaw set in defense of the woman at his home. His leg began to shake with his intentions before he looked into Acer's face, "See, that's the thing. She trusted you, she says she _loves_ you," he nearly cringed at using the word. "And she says you love her, and yet… what she's been through…she came to me," he shook his head with no remorse for what he had just said. "And right now, I'm not sure that she really does love you. She's got a lot of decisions to make and she needs somebody who will be by her…one hundred ten percent by her side."

Acer's eyes narrowed, "What are you telling me?"

"I sent her to you once. I pushed her to talk to you, to work things out, to straighten this out between the two of you. I told her to go away with you, take time and figure this out, together. But she came back to _my house_ again that night even more confused than when she had left. If she didn't get the answers she wanted then…if she didn't feel like you were shooting straight with her… I can't help that. She's 23 years old; she's vulnerable, but she's an adult. She's capable of making her own decisions. And if she decided that she doesn't want to talk to you, or she's not ready to talk to you again…"

"But as long as she's with you she's not even gonna think about talking to me, unless you tell her to," Acer interrupted with a louder voice. "You're influencing her decisions and that's _not fair_ to me. She needs to get out of your house. Tell her to go to her parents' house, go to Ashley's place or her _own home_. She's gotta get out from under _your_ roof before she'll even give me a chance. Quit pushing for her to stay with you!" Acer's agitation shone through with the thought of _his_ girlfriend's current living arrangements.

Zac leaned forward with his elbows on the table. He looked straight into Acer's eyes with no hint of amusement at the accusation. "I am _not_ the one insisting that she stay with me. She came to me. She wants to be where she feels safe. She has asked me almost every night for the past two weeks if she can stay just one more night. Especially since the day she talked to you one on one, she asks to stay just one…more…night. She is still trying to figure things out on her own. She's not discussing plans with me or playing house, do you get that? Are you hearing what I'm telling you? She's trying to figure out what she wants to do and I'll be damned if I'm going to deny her a safe place to try and come to grips with what's going on in her life."

Acer stared back at Zac's deep blue eyes, unsure what to say. Yes he heard what Zac was telling him but without knowing what Anessa was thinking, what she wanted, or if she even still loved him, the younger man was at a loss to understand.

"So what am I supposed to do?" he finally asked. "Am I sitting here right now because you're the Anessa _expert_ and you're going to offer me advice?" he asked half sarcastically, half seriously.

"No," Zac leaned back in his chair, shook his head, and crossed his arms across his chest.

Acer took a drink and shifted in his chair, "Well, what then?"

Zac sat for a moment, staring directly at his counterpart. "Back off."

"What?" Acer shook his head in disbelief at Zac's words.

"Move on. The tabloids are already saying you guys have split, so run with it. Get out of her life and go on with yours," Zac instructed calmly.

Acer's eyes opened wide and his head shook. "No," he whispered with a blaze of fire in his eyes.

"I'll take care of her. Having Ani at my house and trying to comfort her…I realize now that we never should've split up. I'm ready to be back in her life. I _want _to be back in her life; _really_ in her life. I'm ready to offer Ani the trust and love that she needs right now. I'm ready to prove to her why I should be the only man she'll ever need in her life."

Acer's hands gripped the table with white-knuckles while he numbly listened to Zac's speech continue. "Stop trying to talk to her. Stop worrying about convincing her to trust you again and about fixing your mistake. _I_ will take care of her. I will love her and I will be the man she will trust. _You _move on. I'll take care of Anessa from now on."

Zac's declaration made Acer's skin crawl. It made him angry and practically made him sick. It was all the young man could do not to come out of his chair and round the table to get his hands on the man across from him.

"You can't just _take charge_ of her life. That's not what Anessa wants. You, yourself just said she's still trying to work things out. I don't care how long it takes her. This has to be her decision. I have a lot more at stake here than just losing a girlfriend, Alexander. I'm not gonna just slip off and let you glide back into her life." Acer's lip quivered at the anxious feelings that were coursing through him. "You _don't_ know what she wants, do you?" he accused.

"No." Zac shook his head but made no attempt to take back anything he had just told the young man.

"I won't move on. I don't give up that easily. I love her, too. One bad decision may have sent her running to your home to feel safe, but it'll be my arms and my bed that she will come back to. You said it. She's an adult. She'll make her own decisions." He wiped a hand across his face. "What you're telling me is to get out of her life. But I can't do that. Until I hear that from the woman _I_ love I won't even consider it."

Zac stretched his neck, fiddled with the straw paper that was left on the table and then looked back up at the young man who was attempting to take his place in Anessa's heart. A few months could not equal the five years they had spent together. A few months couldn't break the trust they had. A few months had only served to prove to Zac how much he wanted Anessa back, truly back, with him.

"Look. You're 21. You're an up-and-comer. Anessa and I have already been through that stage and we went through it together. Take a look at your career, at your situation and what's out there for you. Think hard about it. I think you'll realize that Anessa _and I_ are offering you an out. Let's not fight about this. You just think about things." Zac put on his best adult face and voice, hoping this would be the last argument he'd need to make.

Instead, Acer stood from the table and looked back at him. "She may be at your house, but she has _my_ heart. I won't let her walk away with that, and I won't let _you_ take her from me."

The two men held eyes for what felt like an hour. Each could see the depth of emotion that had been brought on by the woman in their hearts. The woman who had professed her love for both men and yet was torn by a past and a suddenly uncertain future.

The waiter stepped cautiously toward the table. He had heard parts of the conversation, the raised voices, and noticed the ticking jaws and less than unfriendly stares the two men had traded.

"Mr. Alexander, I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm just wondering if you're ready for your check?" Nate's voice was calm, steady as he invaded the silent conversation.

Without looking toward the young server Zac sucked a breath in through his nose. "Ready or not?" he watched as Acer shook his head and reached into his pocket.

The younger of the two threw a couple of bills on the table and gave only a passing glance to the waiter before focusing again on his adversary. "We're not done." The comment froze in the California heat but both men knew exactly what it meant.

Anessa Hart would have to make a decision that would make or break each of their hearts. In the matter of Zac Alexander versus Acer Roberts the bar was set, ready or not.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	2. Trust and Obey

**Ready Or Not - Chapter 1 – Trust and Obey**

"You're driving me crazy, you know that, right?" The 21 year old driver looked over at his dark-haired girlfriend who was wearing a somewhat revealing top and licking her lips in his direction.

"Can't help it," she leaned against the car door and gave him a smug pout as she blinked her long eyelashes over her dark eyes. "I've still got it, admit it."

"Baby, you're twenty-three. Hell yeah you still got it. But what you've got might be a little much for those teeny-boppers to keep votin' for you." He turned back to watch the road and the other vehicles that were whizzing by them on the busy California roadway.

"Awww," Anessa tugged on her seatbelt enough to loosen it and lean across the console to give her younger boyfriend a buzzing kiss to his cheek. At the same time she ran her hand up his thigh and let her fingers dance dangerously close to the inseam of his dark-washed blue jeans. "Is my Acer jealous?"

He glanced at her and rolled his eyes, yet puckered his lips in search of an actual kiss from her. She obliged and then pressed her lips together, wetting them lightly with her tongue.

"I'm not jealous," Acer watched her adjust in the seat of the Audi and watched her skirt ride up just a bit higher on her legs causing him to shake the naughty thoughts from his head. "My time'll come. I'm a patient man," He attempted.

"Now there's a lie if I've ever heard one!" Anessa laughed out loud and ran a finger down his arm. "You, Acer Roberts," she said seductively, "are one of the most anxious men I know. And," she leaned toward him again and ran her thumb over his lips while pressing another kiss to his cheek, "on nights like this, you make me anxious to just get back home and into the bedroom," she whispered her last words into his ear and caught the shiver that ran through his body.

"Winning makes you insatiable," he practically groaned. "God, you looked so hot on that stage tonight, under the lights. You were made for performing. Has anyone ever told you that?"

He looked at her again, smiling shyly and settling into her seat. She blinked her eyes slowly, letting thoughts run through her mind. "Daddy did, when I was little…and Zac."

She heard Acer's intake of air at the sound of her ex-boyfriend's name. She quickly scooted toward the drivers' seat and took his hand into hers. "Ace, I'm going home with you. _You_ are celebrating with me tonight, not him."

"I know," he sighed and lifted his other hand off the steering wheel to run it through his hair. He squeezed her hand and took a look in the rearview mirror. "He was there tonight though. Did you get a chance to talk to him?"

The question was pure curiosity but Anessa could hear the hint of nerves that was there as well.

"Yeah. We ran into each other in one of the green rooms grabbing water backstage," she answered honestly.

"And?" He asked with an anxious turn.

Anessa shrugged, "And, I'm here in the car with you. What do you want me to say?"

Acer made a point to visually relax his shoulders and rubbed a thumb across her knuckles that were still in his grasp. "I just meant - did you get to talk to him at all?"

Anessa looked forward through the windshield. Her ex may have been her ex-boyfriend but they still had a connection that would make them remain friends for life. The potential for a renewed relationship would always be there, a slim shadow of regret about their breakup would always be present, and the assurance of a true friendship would be there forever. Acer knew that. She knew he knew that. That cast its own shadow over their quickly developing relationship.

"I did, for a minute. We did – talk – that is. Just… congratulations over being nominated and what projects we're on now; that kind of thing," she explained quickly.

"Well, that's good," Acer offered. "At least you got to see each other for a few minutes." He tried his best to cover his racing heartbeat.

The thought of Anessa even seeing Zac worried him. The thought of them talking led his mind to other things that made the younger actor truly jealous. It was enough to make him think he might really be in love with the young woman beside him. The words had been shared between them but with the past and future in his mind, he couldn't help questioning the crossed lines between his head and his heart.

"Hey, you…" Anessa pulled him out of his thoughts by tickling the tip of her middle finger against his palm. "I won!" she smiled like a three year old, cocked her eyebrows like a mischievous teen and then licked her lips like the mature woman that was about to turn her sex appeal onto the man that was pulling her car into the garage of her home.

And before either door of the vehicle could be opened, the winning actress was instigating a make-out session that would make a triple X movie look like soap-opera foreplay.

**ReadyorNotReadyorNotReadyorN ot**

"Ani, come on, you're killing me here and you know it. If you don't hurry up I'm gonna explode and you're not even in the room!" Acer's strained voice reached Anessa's ears from the bedroom causing her to smile almost wickedly. She knew she was pushing his boundaries but loved every minute of it.

The marks she had left on him in the car had him clawing at her clothing. The tantalizing game she had played with her tongue made him pant and jerk as she showed him just how flexible she could be in a less-than-roomy vehicle. And yet, before either of them could touch the others' delicate areas, she had opened the drivers' door and climbed out of his lap.

When Acer didn't receive an answer from the adjacent bathroom he tried another tactic. "Anessa, Baby, you're not gonna make me take care of myself out here, are you?" He took a moment to trail his hand over his long torso but stopped just short of actually stroking himself outside his cotton boxer-briefs.

His girlfriend finally opened the bathroom door to watch him momentarily. "See, I knew you were impatient," her voice lowered into the sexy tone that she knew drove him wild.

"Only because of you," he tried to explain while doubling the pillow under his head to sit up a little farther, trying to see her more clearly.

Anessa stepped from the bathroom. "Just keep your boxers on another minute or two." She paraded through the bedroom in a skimpy, strapless push-up bra and a pair of lace, bikini panties that nearly brought her boyfriend out of the bed to follow her into the oversized, walk-in closet.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Acer asked after a nearly painful groan from her teasing strut.

"I'm just," she paused and shuffled some boxes around on the shelf, "looking for…ah, there it is!" her excited voice served to raise his libido even higher.

"I'm about ready to come in there after you, Ani. And if I do that, neither of us will make it back to the bed. Seriously, you're killing me here."

Anessa stepped out from the closet door with her bottom lip between her teeth. "Patience, Ace. I think you'll like this," she swallowed and ran her tongue across her bottom lip. When she stepped to the side of the bed she presented a pair of pink, feathery handcuffs and a black silk scarf. "What d'ya think?" she raised her eyebrows and held the items out.

"I think the fun won't last long if you're expecting me to wear those. You've got me too riled up as it is Ani. You're the winner tonight, Babe. I want your night to continue," he leaned up to kiss her as she climbed onto the king-sized bed beside him.

"No, I want you to put them on me," Anessa ran the scarf over his broad shoulder and down the side of his chest. "You've got me all to yourself. Let me be your trophy, Ace…just remember to handle with care," she grinned and then laughed at his light moan.

She sighed and stretched her nearly naked body as he guided her down onto the mattress and cuffed her hands above her head. "You're sure?" he straddled her legs and looked into her still-made-up face before she nodded and he hid her eyes with the makeshift blindfold.

_God, I can't believe he gave this up. The man is nuts, _Acer thought slightly before he went to work pleasing the woman who was bare below him. The young man's only other thought during her pleasured moans and sighs of his name was about the protection he normally used. But with her eyes covered and her body on the edge he decided he didn't want the barrier between him and the heat that would set them both on fire.

**ReadyorNotReadyorNotReadyorN ot**

A half hour later Anessa lay curled in his arms, sighing, content, smiling with the soft bracelets thrown on the floor and the slick blindfold tucked under her cheek. Acer continued to kiss her shoulder, tickle her neck with his breath, and skim his large hands across her abdomen and breasts.

"You're such a tease. You had me worked up before we even left the hall. You are so sexy, and I still can't believe you're mine. Love you," he admonished her with his praise and thankfulness.

Anessa stretched against him and sighed. She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm before teasingly licking the tip of his index finger. "And I'm lucky to have you!" She pressed her backside against his groin and turned her head toward him for a kiss. "I know I pushed your limits tonight. Thank you for taking time…to take care of me."

Acer pulled his body away from hers slightly and loosened his hold. He raised his body over her side and bent his neck to kiss her lips. "I'm glad I can!" he smiled a boyish grin at her and then rolled to the side of the bed.

Anessa rolled onto her back and noticed that he immediately grabbed his underwear and slid them on before going into the bathroom. She thought for just another second and then waited to hear the toilet flush before asking anything. When he emerged from the smaller room she watched him grab a pair of shorts to throw on before coming back to bed.

"Ace?" she rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand to look at him.

"Hmmm?" he answered with a tired voice as his eyes began to droop.

"This is gonna sound silly, but… you did use…I mean, what did you do with…did you _lose_ the condom?" She finally got the question out.

"What?" He opened his eyes slightly to look at her.

She ran a finger down his arm and watched its path. "Just now, when you went to the bathroom, you put your boxers back on. Usually you grab them and take them with you and put them on _after_ you well…after you throw out the rubber, you know?"

Acer showed her a crinkled smile. "Well aren't you the observant one? I didn't even think about it."

Anessa's finger suddenly stopped its soothing motion and her eyes widened as she looked at the satisfied young man. "What do you mean you didn't even think about it?" her tone dropped an octave with the hint of concern.

Acer blinked a few times and then avoided her gaze as his mind worked to cover his now-obvious screw-up. "I just, I mean, I still took it off in the bathroom. Ani, you were just so hot, Baby, and after we were done and just laying here together. I just threw my shorts on and cleaned up the mess when I got in the bathroom. No big deal, Baby."

"Okay," she let out a breath and nodded. She leaned back onto her own pillow but watched as he lifted his forearm across his eyes. "It's just, Ace? It is a big deal, you know? The protection thing; it is a big deal to me."

"Yeah, Babe, I know. That's why you're on the shots. Double protection, I know…I know." His voice trailed off from drowsy to unconscious leaving Anessa still awake and thinking about the lack of sincerity in his last few words.

When she was sure he was asleep she went into the bathroom herself, closed the door and flipped on the light. Try as she might she couldn't help looking in the small trash receptacle by the commode. She felt her blood pressure rise slightly at the empty bin. _Of course he would skip using a condom now; the same month that I missed getting my shot thanks to my filming schedule._

**ReadyorNotReadyorNotReadyorN ot**

She was up and exercising before Acer even rolled out of bed the next morning. That was his first signal that something was off kilter. The second should have been the less than playful smack that she gave him when he walked into the workout room and rubbed his hand across her butt.

Instead he laughed it off and went back into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal. When she walked through with a towel around her neck he attempted to pull her down onto his lap to congratulate her yet again for her acting victory which had gained an _L.A. Times_ headline on this morning after.

"Stop it!" she jerked away and wouldn't even look at him.

"What's up with that?" Acer threw his hands in the air with his defensive tone. "Just trying to tell you it's a great picture in the _Times_, geez. What's got you goin' this morning?" He tried to bring his voice back down to an even sound.

Anessa grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and then leaned on the kitchen counter. She looked at him eating and took several quick breaths before pulling in a long drink of water.

"Acer, do you remember when we were first going out and we talked about things that can make or break a relationship?"

He nodded as he took another bite of his breakfast and then looked toward her. "Yeah," he thought back to the various conversations, but didn't say anything else.

Anessa used her towel to wipe some sweat from under her eyes. "Trust is a biggie for me. I can't take lying, you know?"

"Okay," he again gave her the one-word treatment which only served to irk Anessa's aggravation a bit more.

"Not okay," she finally said quietly. "You lied to me last night, didn't you?"

Acer put his spoon down and took a drink from his coffee cup, "Is this about the condom thing?"

"Yes," Anessa nodded strongly. "Yes, it _is_ about the condom _thing_." She pushed herself from the counter and walked over to the table noticing that he was avoiding eye contact. "More than that Ace, it's more about you lying to me."

Acer kept his eyes on the newspaper beside him instead of looking into her face to try and have the conversation. "Look, Babe, I was worn out. The only thing my body wanted to do was get to sleep-"

"Acer, the only thing your body wanted to do was screw me when we got into the bedroom. I'm just saying the least you could've done was tell me that you were in too much of a hurry to grab one. Instead you made me believe you had one on like usual and that's a lie, isn't it?" her voice sounded angry and hurt.

"Ani, you know I was about to…you know how close I was even before we got out of the car. If I had even slid my own finger over myself I would've lost it. God, Woman, you tease the hell out of me and then expect me to think about extra protection? I know that's' what we talked about, but every now and then – that's why you're on birth control, right?" Acer glanced up to see her rubbing her forehead with her fingers.

"You're not getting the point here, Acer. If you had told me you weren't gonna put a condom on… No, I wouldn't have been happy, but in the state we were both in, I would've told you that I didn't care, go ahead. Yes, that's why I'm on birth control. But the point is you _didn't_ tell me. What's worse is you _lied_ to me about it after the fact."

Anessa leaned her head back and let a heavy breath out through her nose. Acer shook his head and reached out to try and take her hand. "And my point is, after the games you were playing, I couldn't even think straight. Baby, when I come down from the 'high' you put me on, I crash. And last night was like a 747 nose dive."

He smiled up at her, hoping his words would make up for his mistake. But Anessa didn't smile back at him. Instead she pulled her hand from his and shook her head. "I need you to go for a while, Ace. You're still talking about the sex and I'm talking about trust. We're on two totally different pages here." She turned her back but fully expected his reaction.

Acer stood from his seat quickly and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Ani, I'm sorry. I screwed up, I know, and I'm sorry. I know trust is huge. I realize that. And I realize that lying to you wasn't what I should've done. I'm sorry, Baby."

She leaned her head forward to avoid falling into his charming embrace. She heard his words and wanted to believe them but the fact was that they were coming too little, too late. For the moment, at least, she had to hold her ground.

Without pulling herself from his hold she simply shook her head. "I need time to think about this, Acer. And so do you. Why don't…why don't you stay at your place a couple of nights and just give me some space, okay?"

"Nights?" Acer released his grasp and pressed her arms so she would turn and face him. "Ani, this was one mistake I made. I won't make it again."

"And I'm not saying that we're breaking up over it, Ace. I'm just saying I need time to think about things," Anessa sighed. "I just need to think."

"Well why don't you think for a couple of hours and I'll come back and pick you up for dinner?" he offered.

Anessa shook her head again. "Listen, I've been with you almost every moment since I got back from my last shoot. I need to go see Mom and Dad and Ella and I need to check in with Ash, too. Just go back to your place for a couple of nights. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

Acer looked into her eyes and didn't miss the lack of her normal sparkle. "Alright," he started without a smile. "But if you don't call, I'll be back over here. I'll sleep on the couch if I have to. I'm not letting go. I love you," he said the words again, wondering even more strongly if he truly meant them.

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**


	3. What Is Love?

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 2 – What Is Love?**

"There's my baby girl!" Jeana Hart's voice was more than excited when her eldest daughter walked through the kitchen door.

Anessa had spent an hour that morning making sure her boyfriend actually left her home and then another hour just roaming around the six bedroom mansion doing absolutely nothing.

Now she carried her toy poodle like a baby in her arms until the little animal began to squirm. "Sadie, stop!" Anessa begrudgingly handed the animal to her mother who accepted happy puppy kisses from the rough little tongue.

"She's just happy to be back home with Grandma, that's all it is!" Jeana puckered her lips and held her chin out to accept more kisses from her daughter's pet. "This is what happens when Mommy doesn't stay at home, isn't it, Sweetheart? Yes it is," the older woman turned on her best babyish voice to talk to the tiny animal. "You spend so much time here with me and Aunt Ella…you might as well be _our_ little baby."

"Mother…" Anessa put her purse down on the kitchen table and crossed her arms over her chest, "It's like you're always more happy to see Sadie than you are to see me these days," she nearly pouted.

Jeana tilted her head and smiled at her daughter. "Nonsense!" She bent down and sat Sadie on the ground before opening her arms to Anessa. "I just get to see more of her than I do of you. At least having Sadie here is like having a part of you here with us."

Anessa closed her eyes as she leaned down into her mother's hug, losing herself for just a moment in the maternal embrace. "Mmm," she sighed, "I've missed you guys."

"Sure you have," Jeana commented with a slight hint of sarcasm. "We saw you last night – oh wait – that was on tv," she smiled as she pulled away from her daughter. "Congratulations by the way. Another statue to add to your collection!"

Anessa noted the proud smile that her mother wore. After the years of running that Jeana and Greg had put into Anessa's young career the results were amazing to all of them. "I couldn't have done it without you and Daddy," Anessa kissed her mother on the cheek. "I'm still a little shocked that I'm still in the teenage-award categories though…not to mention actually _winning._"

Jeana shrugged her shoulders and stepped toward the stove where a pot of water began whistling. "Tea?" she offered easily.

Anessa nodded her head and sat down at the table while her mother worked in the familiar surroundings.

"You'll always have younger fans. The girls who were just five or six years old when the Musical came out will always follow the romance of your career. You always give them the credit for hitting the big time. They appreciate that. Stay on that track and they'll follow you right on into these other films you have coming out." Jeana brought two cups of tea to the table and sat down across from her daughter.

"I don't know. Last night's award was for an action, comedy type role. The ones that I've shot recently are more drama – more mature drama. I'm not sure my _followers_ will stick with me for these. Especially if their parents still have a say in the matter. We're talking beyond the PG-13 meter, finally, Mom." Anessa sipped her tea and watched for her mother's reaction.

Jeana nodded slightly, knowing that her oldest was well into the land of adulthood, and had been there for more years than she wanted to admit on several levels. Anessa had been making her own career and life decisions well before she actually hit the legal age.

"Are you looking for my approval? Ani, you made the choices on these latest projects. I'm not sure you discussed any of the roles with me or your father. I can't even say that Zac was involved. The last three or four, they've been your decisions, alone." Anessa's eyes darted up to meet Jeana's at the mention of her former co-star and ex-boyfriend.

She deliberately let the name go by without any other indication. "I realize that. And I don't think I'll regret any of them. It's just reaching out to older, different audiences. In a way it's exciting…but in another it's kinda scary. I'm leaving one group and going in a whole new direction. The only approval I'm looking for now is from fans, old and new, too, hopefully."

"True," Jeana agreed, "But isn't that what this acting thing is all about? Taking chances; trying new things, playing new characters, being someone completely different than who you really are?"

Anessa smiled at her mother's understanding. "Yes," she took another sip and held the warm cup between her hands. They sat in silence for another moment, Anessa thinking about her upcoming workload and projects that were still up for a decision. Jeana simply watched and studied her daughter.

"What?" Anessa finally shook herself from her thoughts and noticed her mother's intent stare.

"I'm just realizing how grown up you are. Making your own decisions, out on your own, setting your career goals and going for them. I'm very proud of you," she smiled sweetly. "But I miss you."

Anessa stood from her seat and rounded the table to wrap her arms around her mother's shoulders. "I miss you, too, Mama. There're a lot of times when I'd like to stop, even in the middle of a conversation, and just call to ask your opinion."

"Ah, but I bet there are even more when you're thinking, 'Thank God my mother isn't here!'" She laughed and was happy when Ani laughed with her.

"Okay, yes, I have had a few of those times, too," the younger woman smiled.

"Well at least you admit it!" Jeana continued.

Anessa sat again and both women let the comment fade. For another few minutes they just sipped and cooled their teacups. Anessa took in a deep breath and pressed her lips together.

"Speaking of…admitting things…" she began.

Jeana raised her eyebrows and sat her cup back on the table. "That's an interesting conversation starter."

"Well, not so much, but just, maybe I can get your opinion on something," Anessa twisted slightly in her seat.

"Go for it," Jeana opened herself up to whatever topic Anessa was choosing.

With a sigh, Anessa nervously chewed on her bottom lip. "I guess you'd say this is on the relationship front, maybe," she attempted to start.

"Okay," Jeana began to worry slightly with her daughter's agitated habits.

"Have there been times when, maybe, Daddy has lied to you about something that you think is really important? I mean, maybe it's not as important to him, but it's really important to you?" Anessa looked at her mother almost helplessly, wanting to broach the subject of her issue with Acer, but not directly.

"Lied to me?" Jeana thought for a moment. Her eyebrows creased inward as she looked over the top of Anessa's head and then back into her daughter's face. "I don't suppose you are talking about little white lies involving anniversary or birthday surprises, are you?"

Anessa smiled and shook her head.

Jeana dug a little farther into her memories of her nearly thirty year relationship. "There have been a few times when your father has kept some things from me, information about a business deal, or something from a court case. But in the long run, really, it wasn't information that I needed to know. I trust him. I figure if he needs me to know something, he'll tell me."

Anessa nodded absently. "Ok. But in those cases where he didn't tell you something, did you ever ask him directly about it and did he give you a straight, truthful answer?"

Jeana looked more seriously at her daughter, "Ani, what's going on? Why the questions?"

Anessa's shoulders slouched and she leaned back in her chair. "I just…something between me and Acer. He did something – well, actually it's something he _didn't_ do – but when I asked him about it, he straight out lied to me." She paused with a pout. "The thing is, it shouldn't be that big of an issue, _except_ that he lied to me about it."

Jeana sent her daughter a confused shake of the head but smiled at her. "So, you caught him in this lie. Did he apologize for it, or are you worried that he may lie to you about other things? Is that what you're getting at?"

Anessa nodded but shrugged her shoulders. "I'm trying to tell myself to suck it up and forget about it. But yeah, I guess I'm worried that if he lied to me about this…maybe there will be others. I thought maybe I could learn from you and Dad."

Jeana leaned forward and looked sincerely at her, "Every relationship is different, Sweetheart. I know you know that. _But_ every relationship has to have trust. You have to figure out if his lie cuts into that trust or not. I guess it depends on how important, or unimportant that _something_ is that he lied about. Was it something that hurt you? Or is it something that really doesn't matter? You have to be the judge of that, Ani. If it's really something that eats into how much you trust him, then you may want to give this _relationship_ a lot of thought."

The younger woman nodded her understanding with a discontented sigh, "That's what I'm having trouble with. It's just…if he had told me what he was doing…did it hurt me? No…but it could. It _could _be something that really matters…or not. Thing is though, I can't just brush over the fact that he lied to me about it…Zac _never _lied to me…"

"Never?" Jeana questioned without a smile, raising her eyebrows and tilting her forehead in Ani's direction. She was more than a bit surprised by Anessa's surety about her previous love interest.

"Except for the occasional fib that went along with some surprise…no, never." Anessa lifted her fingertips to her lips and began to nibble and fidget with her nails. "Zac and I…trust wasn't an issue – isn't an issue," she looked at her mother with a completely honest look. "Especially on this front…I mean the thing that Ace lied to me about…Zac wouldn't…didn't…he and I both – it just meant too much to us."

"Did you ever lie to him?" Jeana asked with a touch of renewed warmth for the young man that she had once accepted practically as her son.

Anessa looked down at the table and blinked back the tears that always formed when she thought about the relationship that had ended with a mutual agreement to go separate ways. "No," she whispered.

"No?" Jeana watched with a soft, staring gaze. "That's a little hard to believe, Anessa, especially considering the two of you aren't together anymore," the mother pressed. "I think maybe you both lied to each other."

"Mom, that's not the point here," Anessa looked across the table.

"If you're comparing you relationship with Acer to the one you _had_ with Zac then it may actually be a point to consider." Jeana gently crossed her arms as her daughter's shoulders slouched even farther.

"I'm not saying Zac was perfect. The point is that on things that truly mattered, he didn't lie to me – and I didn't lie to him. When it came to taking care of each other…he took care of me, in every way that he could. Truth…trust wasn't an issue." Anessa caught herself sighing inwardly at her thoughts of being with Zac, intimately, and the way he took care of her.

"But you think it might be with Acer?" Jeana prodded.

"I don't know for sure. We're talking one…one time, one lie…"

"One that you _know _you've caught him in."

"Yeah."

"Ani?" Jeana caught her daughter's eyes. The two sets of nearly identical brown irises looked at each other sincerely. "Do you love him, or is this an excuse to get away from him? Have you fallen in love with Acer or do you want out of the relationship? Is that why this is bothering you so much?"

Anessa blinked and her eyes shifted. Her mother knew more about her relationship with this new young man than she expected.

Jeana noticed the moving glance and picked up on her daughter's nervousness. She looked down at the table as she asked more questions. "I, I assume, after all these months, that the two of you are _involved; _he stays with you a lot…"

Anessa looked at her mom's reddened face and felt the blood rising in her cheeks as well. "Yes, Mom," she practically whispered from her dry throat.

"So you _do_ love him? I know you said – at least before you and Zac…got together – you said it would only happen with someone that you love…" Jeana kept a hopeful look in her eye but had to hold her tongue from going any further.

Anessa's mouth felt like sandpaper as she contemplated her mother's words. Even as an adult the thought of admitting sexual activity to her mother was nearly taboo. And yet, they were talking about trust and truthfulness – two attributes that Jeana Hart had instilled in her children.

"I do _think_ I'm in love with him," Anessa pushed her chin out as she spoke, trying to reinforce her words.

"You _think_?" Jeana repeated.

Anessa closed her eyes for a moment, trying to _think_ of a better explanation. "Love means something a little different to me now, Mom. I know you and Daddy thought I was just throwing the word around when Zac and I got together, and we were just kids. I realize that now. And I realize – now, to me, at least – in a relationship, love is more of a forever, kind of commitment sort of word. So that's part of what I'm trying to figure out, I think. Am I falling in love with Ace? Do I trust him enough to be in love with him? Do we have what it takes to be a forever committed kind of relationship? I'm not saying I want out, but if lying to me is acceptable to him…that plays into the _love_ part of this, right?"

The flash of disappointment in Jeana's eyes didn't fly by Anessa. She watched her mother sit up straighter in her chair, a bit of stiffness added to her normally relaxed state. "But Anessa Anne, if you're sleeping with this young man, the words have been said, haven't they? Can you really…have sex with him _without_ loving him? Can you actually say the words and _not_ mean them? At least when you and Zac were _throwing them around_ I saw something and felt something that told me you _were_ in love; _both_ of you. With Acer you've given yourself to him and you don't know if you're in love? Does he love you?"

Anessa's chin dropped to her chest. The lecture wasn't something she needed but she was listening. This wasn't a battle she could easily win because it was the same battle she was still fighting inside herself. The war of enjoying someone's company and physical pleasure versus being truly in love was one she had fought for a while. And, unfortunately, the first of the two sides had been winning out – with Acer - for longer than she wanted to admit.

"Ani?" Jeana reached across the table and touched her daughter's arm. "I'm your mother. My head wants to judge you, but my heart says I can't, because I love you. I don't want to see you hurt. I want you to be happy and I want you to find a man that you're in love with and you can spend the rest of your life loving – and being loved. I can't make that decision for you. I can give you my two cents worth. That's about all this is. I just want you to really think about what you're doing. You don't have to live the Hollywood life that the tabloids put you into. You don't have to live a lie. It's your life, your decisions. If you love Acer, Honey, we're going to support you. Your father's going to grumble and complain and be the Papa Bear that will give any young man a hard time about dating his daughter."

"And if I don't love him?" Anessa ventured to ask.

"Don't lead him on. Don't make him think that your physical pleasure, or his, is true love. It goes much deeper than that and you know it. I think you learned that with Zac. Love is so much more than that."

Anessa moved her arm enough to take Jeana's hand in hers. "I do know that, Mom. And I realize this is all hard for you to accept. I know it's not the way you and Dad wish for me. I…I'm still learning at this _love_ thing. Your opinion is worth a lot to me; I value it. I'm glad I can still come to you and talk to you about it – even if you don't agree with me – at least you listen and you still love me."

Jeana nodded and squeezed Ani's hand. "Of course we love you. There's no question about that. And we worry about you. We will always be here for you. And hopefully when we're old, you'll be here for us!" she grinned and willed Anessa to smile along with her.

Ani sucked in a breath and let her lips curve upward with the positive change in the air. "Well I'm here for you now, too!" she perked up with a thought that was completely off the subject. "How about you and El go get some ice cream with me?" she invited.

Jeana rolled her eyes. "Sure you are, when you gain the benefits as well!" she joked. "Do you honestly think Ella's here? Your sister is sixteen now. Do you remember being sixteen? Staying home with your old mother was _not_ the priority and you know it. I'm actually surprised she wasn't on your doorstep this morning."

Anessa laughed, remembering that her younger sister now had her driver's license and a car - thanks to Anessa's own generosity. "Well, I can honestly say she didn't come to my house. Sadie and I walked through every room of the place before coming over here."

"Is that you're new exercise regime? The six-bedroom/two-staircase tour?" The two women laughed with Anessa refusing to admit the real reason that she had wandered through her home.

"Then it's just you and me," Jeana held her hands out, offering her continued company.

"What d'ya say, then… ice cream? My treat," Anessa nodded hoping her mother would mimic the gesture.

"Make it frozen yogurt and you've got a date," Mrs. Hart conceded.

"Deal!" The two women stood and shook hands before sharing a hug.

"Do you feel any better about the thing with Acer?" Anessa's mother kept a hold on her little girl's biceps to look back into her face.

Anessa sighed, "I don't know. I've asked him to stay at his place for a couple of nights and give me a little space to think about it."

"Don't over-think it. As much as I want him to treat you right, and as much as we insist that trust is _huge_, Ani, don't let this ruin a good thing – if that's what you've got. Unless it was something that could change your life, don't over-think it." Jeana instructed.

Anessa mentally noted that her mother had never once asked her what the _something_ was. She never asked what Acer had lied about. She had never pressured Ani to tell her the specifics.

"Thanks, Mom. I love you, you know that?" she smiled as her mother moved back into the kitchen to put her empty cup into the sink.

"I do know that," Jeana smiled to herself. "And because of that I expect you to fill me in on the next movies you are considering and what you've got in store for the next few months. You may be grown up, Anessa Anne, but we still live ten minutes apart. I know there's a lot going on, but I'm your mother," her accented tone told Anessa that it was time for an all-out 'mother's' day.

"That may take longer than just a frozen yogurt date," Anessa offered a sideways smile when her mother turned to look at her.

"Well, I think you might owe me a pair of shoes as well as yogurt," Jeana mentioned as she headed toward her bedroom to change clothes.

Anessa laughed, picking up on her mother's tell-tale sign. "Just one pair?" she questioned and grinned at the nearly snorting-laugh that resounded from the room down the hall. "I'll take that as a 'no'!" she said with hint of sarcastic joking.

The sight of a picture in her parents' living room caught Anessa's eye before she could hear her mother's answer to her jest. The photo of her and her ex-boyfriend simply smiling at each other touched Anessa's heart in a place that she knew Acer would probably never reach.

But the picture also begged the answer to a question that Jeana had asked earlier…_'Never?'_ Anessa picked up the picture and ran her finger over Zac's image. "Why is this such a big deal to me, Zac? I'm not comparing Acer to you, am I? I know I can trust you. I believe I can trust him – at least I believed I could. _Have_ you ever lied to me? I already know the answer but I just may have to call and ask you, just to get this thing behind me. Your answer would be the same as what I told mom, wouldn't it?" She stopped as she realized she _was _comparing the two men in her mind, at least on one level. "_Acer – one; Zac - never_."

**ReadyorNotReadyorNotReadyorN ot**


	4. Truth and Consequences

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 3 – Truth and Consequences**

"_Ani, it's been almost a week. You've gotta tell me what's going on. I'm coming over to the house tonight. We need a real conversation here, not just two or three words on the phone."_

Anessa listened to Acer's voice mail only once and hit the delete button immediately. She hadn't completely ignored his calls. She had answered his texts and had spoken to him a couple of times since the morning she asked him to leave for a while.

The problem was – she knew he was correct. For a couple that had been _involved_, the suddenness of the separation was only clear to her. That told her one thing: Acer didn't think the condom _issue_ was an issue.

She had expected him to come back to her house after a couple of days and apologize more earnestly about the _misunderstanding_. He had been to the house but he hadn't mentioned a word – not one word – about it. As though not talking about it would make the whole thing just blow over.

_If this had happened with Zac he would've been in tears, on his knees begging me to forgive him and swearing it would never happen again. _Her mind had played out that scenario at least once a day over the past days. It was always followed with…_If this had been Zac – but it wouldn't have happened with Zac. Making love with Zac meant more between us…_

She stopped her thoughts purposefully and leaned against the kitchen counter with a hand on her forehead. It was finally hitting her, physically and emotionally. The breakup with Zac was finally making her really think about her life and her relationship with Acer. What she and Zac had had was special. _He_ was special. She knew that, but after their end agreement she had tried to convince herself otherwise.

What her mother had said was true. Anessa had been Zac's first sexual experience, as he had been for her. And the two of them had waited to share that experience until they were sure – both of them – that love was where they had fallen. The intimate experiences had grown to the point that she was practically addicted to them – to him. And when time and distance separated them she felt the withdrawals – not just from the lack of his physical loving, but the need for his caring, his nearness…just him.

Zac had felt it, too. Ultimately their need for each other was what led to their so-called breakup. Anessa still hated looking at it that way. But they had agreed that perhaps they were each so addicted to the other that space and time were what they needed. Without it they decided their careers wouldn't work. As much as they both hated the decision, it was made mutually. Addictions must be broken and sometimes walking away is just the best thing to do.

A half hour later Anessa found herself in her bedroom with the memories coursing through her heart. Without a clue as to how she'd gotten there she looked in the mirror and thought about the two men she had been with.

Acer was a determined young man. His career had yet to take off completely although he was a successful actor. He was caring, daring, fun and dedicated. He was gentle with Anessa and yet when her playful, aggressive side kicked in, he didn't hesitate to match it. She shivered slightly and thought about the night in question.

That's what had happened after the awards. She had felt playful, sexy and wanted to see how far she could push him. The idea had never crossed her mind – that he wouldn't use his protection. She never once thought that perhaps she was playing with fire – because when she had pushed Zac to that point, more than once – it hadn't been an issue.

Still lost in her thoughts, Anessa barely heard the hum of the garage door opening and the voice that she somewhat dreaded hearing.

"Ani, I know you're home. We need to talk, Baby, face to face. You've gotta give me a clue about this," Acer's voice was somewhat pleading.

Still, there was something about his request that made Ani cringe. '_You've gotta give me a clue?'_ _Is he serious?_

Without a second thought about what she wanted to say, she stepped out of her second-floor bedroom and looked over the rail into her expansive living room. She spotted her boyfriend standing, with arms crossed, next to the sofa.

"_I_ have to give you a clue?" Ani's voice was deeper than Acer expected. He knew the tone. She was disappointed, with a twinge of anger seeping through. He waited for her to say more but what he got was a piercing stare from her brown eyes.

"C'mon, Ani. Don't do this, okay? Don't be this way, talk to me, please?" Acer tried to relax his shoulders but Ani's stare was enough to make him tense and nervous.

Anessa took a deep breath and shook her head. She realized he deserved an explanation but all she had to offer was the same conversation – debate – argument that they had shared over the past six days.

"Come down here," Acer tried again. "Let's sit down and you can just tell me what's got you upset. Why won't you even talk to me?"

Ani gripped the railing and watched him. There was a part of her that loved him. She just couldn't pinpoint which part that was. At that moment her mind was taking that part and pushing it aside.

Acer sat on the edge of the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. He watched as she kept an eye on him and descended the stairs slowly. He waited until she took a few more steps toward him off the staircase and he stood again. He stretched a guiding hand in her direction and felt his heart sink a notch when she refused, crossed her arms across her chest, and stepped around him.

"Sit, Ace," she instructed pointedly.

He did as he was told but felt a near frown forming on his lips at her attitude; treating him like a little animal – like Sadie. Anessa remained standing in front of the couch, arms crossed, looking at his knees.

This time he scooted back on the furniture, leaned back against the cushions and made himself somewhat comfortable. "It's still the condom thing, isn't it," he matched her smile-less expression but kept his more-relaxed position.

Anessa took a deep breath and looked back into his face. "It's more than the condom _thing_," she emphasized. "It's that you lied to me Acer. And who's to say that if you've lied once, you won't lie to me again?" her face told the story of the many times she had thought about this and not found her own conclusion.

"That's what I need you to realize," she continued. "Truth means a lot to me. It should mean a lot to both of us when we're talking about our relationship. It's truth, it's trust…Acer it's the foundation of what _good_ relationships are made of. If I can't trust you to tell me the truth about something that happened when we're having s- … when we're ma-making love…" her words drifted as she lifted her hands in the air and then crossed them again. "How do I know you aren't going to lie to me about other stuff?"

Acer sat up straighter and put a hand on his thigh, rubbing it back and forth over his jeans. "Ani, Baby, it was the heat of the moment. I'm not going to forget again. I see how much this means to you…"

"No, obviously you don't, Ace. And you're sitting here practically lying to me again," Ani interrupted.

"_What?"_ Acer's eyes squinted together trying to understand what she was hearing.

"When I asked you about wearing a condom it was long after the _heat of the moment_. And it wasn't that you _forgot_ it, you just opted not to use one. There's a big difference there. Can you at least admit that you lied to me about it? Can we agree on that part?" Anessa waited impatiently for his answer.

Acer stretched his neck backwards and slowly blinked his eyes. When he straightened his head he licked his lips and looked into her eyes. "Okay, yes, I lied to you about it. At that point you had me on edge and I was more intent on getting us both over that edge together than worrying about putting on a rubber. So, no, I didn't forget and yes, I lied to you when you asked me later on. _Neither_ mistake is going to happen again. I promise you it won't," he let a breath leak through his nose and watched to see if her stance would change.

Anessa pressed her lips together and cautiously sat down on the other end of the sofa. They both sat silently, looking everywhere but at each others' faces.

After another minute Acer looked toward her, "Ani, look, I'm sorry," He breathed heavily and inched his hand across the seat toward her. "I love you. I don't want to hurt you. I didn't do that to hurt you. But you not talking to me – not helping me understand – _that's_ hurting me. The trust thing…I understand that. I see now how you were looking at things. I get it."

Anessa leaned toward him slightly and let her hand slide off her chest and onto the sofa, her palm facing upward as an invitation for him to grasp and hold it. Acer accepted her invitation and quickly slid toward her, turning sideways to face her and hold her hand between both of his.

Ani was still quiet, not completely convinced that they were back on the same page. Her eyes looked down at their joined hands. She couldn't quite put her finger on the discomfort that was still settled inside of her. Shouldn't she be wrapping her arms around him and beginning the make-up portion of this disagreement? Shouldn't they be long past this stage of the game?

Acer scooted closer to her. He bent down gingerly and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger longer and breathing against her skin. "Listen," he pulled back and nudged her forehead with his before separating them. "I have to fly out tomorrow for some meetings about my next movie shoot. I'll probably be out of town all week."

Anessa waited for the other shoe to drop. Had she known about this trip? Was this something he had told her and she hadn't listened? Or had it just developed? Either way she really wasn't bothered by the idea of him being out of town.

Acer noticed that she didn't question him being gone. And she didn't seem overly upset about the idea.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" his request was simple but Anessa knew there was more to it. After their strained week apart he was looking to make things right. In her heart, in all honesty, the idea of making up, making things right, making _love _wasn't what she wanted.

She breathed deeply and forced herself to smile softly. "What if we go out for dinner and come back here and watch a movie or something?"

"Or something?" Acer's eyes twinkled slightly at the innuendo.

Anessa tilted her head. "Yeah, something like a tv show or video games or the paintings on the walls…" she attempted to joke.

Acer creased his forehead looking for an explanation.

"P.M.S." she let the words slip from her lips with a slight sigh.

Acer scooted even closer and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close for a caressing hug. "Well that sucks," he commented against her earlobe.

The contact gave him hope and a warmth he had missed for the past six days. For Anessa, leaning against him was suddenly an effort she had to make. She let another silent sigh escape and tried to focus on the arms around her. His presence wasn't what she wanted right now but she would try to make the best of it.

After all, _it's just one little lie, _she thought to herself. _What's the big deal?_

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Three days into Acer's trip Anessa was even more appreciative that he wasn't in L.A. When she awoke with the headache and nausea she wasn't sure if it was the sushi she had shared with her girlfriends the night before, the alcohol she had consumed, or a bug that was going around. Whichever the case, her churning stomach forced her to stay in bed longer than she anticipated.

"Ugh…" she groaned as the phone rang. She rolled toward the opposite side of the bed and stretched to reach the device. "Hello?" her sleepy voice spoke.

"Time for you to catch up with your mother again. How does lunch sound, Ani?" Jeana's voice was much more upbeat than Anessa's body was feeling.

"Do we have to today, Mom?" she laid back flat on the mattress and rubbed one hand over her squinting eyes.

"Are you feeling ok? Ella said you were going out with the girls last night because Acer's out of town. I thought this would be a good day for lunch and manicures," Jeana waited for her daughter's response.

When Ani's answer didn't come right away Jeana tried another approach. "Anessa, you didn't overdo it with the girls last night did you?"

She heard Anessa's heavy breath and knew she was thinking about whatever she had done the previous evening.

"No," she began with a near breathless answer. "We just had some drinks, dinner, dancing and then home. I had a few to drink but I didn't overdo it."

The more awake she was becoming the more Anessa knew that answer was true. "No, I'm sure I didn't," she added before Jeana spoke again.

"Okay…" Jeana's voice hesitated. "Are you and Acer back on better terms?"

Anessa struggled to sit up between the pillows on her bed and steadied herself with one hand while she held the phone in the other. "I guess we're getting there. He's on some kind of site survey or something this week. He won't be back until Sunday."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Jeana wondered.

"Mom," Anessa tried to stretch her neck and shoulders but none of her movements were easing the dull ache in her head.

"Anessa," Jeana shot back sarcastically. "Honey, are you even out of bed yet?"

"No, Mother, I'm not," Anessa moved her legs toward the edge of the bed and scooted slowly.

"How long will it take you to get out of bed?" Jeana sounded almost like Anessa's little sister, up and ready for the day ahead long before the twenty'ish year old even thought about what day it was.

"Can we back up a little bit? You're making my head hurt, Mom. Why all the questions this morning - of all mornings?" Anessa sat up on the side of the bed. "You are just way too chipper. You know I'm not a morning person."

Jeana raised her eyebrows and glanced at the clock on the stove. "Well, I thought I had given you enough time to get up and going. It is one o'clock after all."

Anessa glanced at the alarm clock at the head of her bed. There was nothing wrong with sleeping in but it was rare for her to sleep later than about ten. "I must not've set my alarm when I got in."

Jeana heard Anessa's yawning answer. "Honey, are you okay? I'm sorry. I really thought you'd be up and going by now. I just wanted to check in on you. It's been a few days since we chatted and I just wanted to see how things were with you and Acer. When Ella told me he was out of town… well, I got a little concerned – especially because you didn't go with him."

Anessa took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She blinked and stretched her eyelids, taking in what Jeana was saying. "How about I come over for a late lunch? I really don't feel like going out anywhere but I'll come over there. Can we have mom and daughter day at home?"

Jeana smiled. There was nothing more she liked than having her daughter at home. And from the sound of Anessa's voice it might just be the two of them, curled up on the couch chatting about a future that required some maternal advice and a lot of motherly love.

"Your dad's working a double shift and Ella's spending a couple of days with a friend. Give me a call when you're heading this way, we'll have the house to ourselves."

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**

Anessa's mother could feel the change the moment her daughter walked through the door an hour later. The tired face, the somewhat pale skin, "Ani, you're not feeling well. Why didn't you just say so?"

Anessa made her way to the kitchen and dropped her over-sized bag on the table before plopping herself into a chair. "I was just getting up when you called. I thought taking a shower would help… then Acer called." She looked up at Jeana with eyes that defied the smile she was attempting to put on.

"Is he doing alright?" Jeana asked more out of curiosity than real concern for the young man.

"Yeah, he's in Indiana for some movie thing. I don't even know what he's doing really. He just called to say that he missed me and he loves me." She blinked softly and again let the corners of her mouth point upward.

"But…" Jeana urged her on.

"But…what?" Anessa looked at her mom. "I miss him, too. I love him, too. That's probably the problem. The weirdness of these last two weeks is probably getting to me. I'm used to him being with me most of the time now. I'm probably just starting to feel the effects of not having him here."

Jeana nodded her head forcibly, trying to agree with Anessa's account. "Are you still losing sleep over that issue that you two had? Have you even talked to him about it?"

Anessa noticed the slight tension in her mom's voice. Jeana still hadn't asked what the issue was – and now that fact was beginning to bother the older woman. "Yes. We talked before Acer had to fly out. He spent the night at my place and I took him to the airport. There are still a few little kinks, but we'll work them out."

"Mmm-hmmm," again Jeana nodded but didn't add her voice any farther.

"Mmm-hmm, what, Mom?" Anessa leaned back in her chair and ran a hand across her stomach pushing slightly at the area where a quiet knot was forming.

"Nothing," Jeana smiled. "I hope you do get them worked out, Sweetheart. Trust is a big thing – but so is communication. You've gotta be able to work through problems when you have them. You can't just shut down on him and expect him to know what's going through your mind. And don't think you can read his mind either, because you'd be surprised…"

Anessa nodded, listening intently to what Jeana was saying. The thing was, her mind and heart were thinking of two different people. One who had just let her shut down without really attempting to read her mind; and another who had worked day and night to keep those lines of communication open - when they were together.

Anessa squinted her eyes slightly and rubbed a hand over her belly again. Jeana had stopped talking and was looking at the way she was rubbing her stomach.

"Are you feeling sick?" her mother asked with a more concerned tone.

Anessa shrugged her shoulders, "Just queasy. I'm sure I'm just tired because I haven't slept well without Acer there." She noted the silent cringe that captured her mother at the thought of Anessa and this boyfriend sleeping together.

Jeana sat for a moment and looked down at her hands.

"What?" Anessa finally asked.

Jeana looked up and then quickly stood from the table and headed toward the cabinet. "How about some chicken soup? That should help you feel better. We'll have some lunch and then sit on the couch and watch a movie."

Anessa watched her mother. "Mom, you weren't thinking about soup, just then. What were you gonna say?"

Jeana shook her head and took some canned soup from the pantry. "Nothing, Honey, I was just trying to think of what we had that might help you feel better. Soup and rest - that's the prescription you need."

"Mama?" Anessa called out to Jeana and grabbed her attention with the little-girl voice that still struck a chord in Jeana and Greg's hearts. If her mother was truly concerned about something, Anessa wanted to know it.

Jeana turned from the can opener and looked toward Ani's face.

"What, Baby?" her tone softened. She wasn't sure she could find the words to answer her daughter's expected request, but she would try.

"What were you going to say? You didn't even look me in the eye. Don't lie to me, please? That's why Acer and I are squabbling. Tell me what you were thinking, Mama." Anessa stayed at the table looking somewhat pitiful in Jeana's opinion.

Jeana's thoughts were enough to make her turn back to her job at hand, purposefully turning her back on Anessa. Jeana tapped her nervous heel against the tiled floor and bit on her bottom lip as she finished opening the can. "I don't think Acer's absence is the reason you're feeling bad," she spoke over her shoulder. "Kind of the opposite is what I'm thinking."

"What do you mean?" Anessa's voice took a slight defensive turn.

Jeana turned toward her daughter, leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. She let out a long breath and then looked at Ani across the small room, "I think you're feeling bad…because you're pregnant."

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**

The look of shock on Anessa's face was more of a tortured truth being released than a rush of emotions. "Mother!" her eyes widened as the blood rushed to her cheeks. The burning sensation reminded Anessa of the reasons she didn't exactly cherish conversations with her mother that involved discussions about either of their sexual activities.

Jeana shrugged as the blush on her cheeks also brightened. "It is possible, isn't it?" Her voice was only slightly quieter than her declaration had been.

Anessa tried to relax her tense shoulders. "No, of course it's –"

"Ani, now who's lying?" Jeana's direct stare made Anessa stop before she could finish the sentence. "The issue between you and Acer it's something about your…intimate…relationship, isn't it?"

Anessa sat at the table slightly dumbfounded. Her mother thought she was pregnant and now she was showing Anessa just how well she was able to fit the puzzle pieces of her young relationship together.

"Why would you say that?" she attempted with the mumbling question.

"Because the trust issue means too much to you – and yet you wouldn't go into details about it with me. The only thing you hesitate to tell _me_ about, Anessa Anne, is your…" Jeana sat down across from Anessa and held her breath for a moment, covering her lips with her fingertips and dragging them downward over her chin, all the while allowing her cheeks to burn a brighter red before saying the words, "your sex life."

Anessa cringed at the sound of Jeana's voice. She didn't use the words relationship, or making love, or boyfriend. She was right to the point. Her mother was thinking about her sex life.

The two women sat, staring at their hands on the table, for long moments trying to think of what else to say. Anessa took an audible breath, allowing ideas to run through her brain.

_So what's the big deal, here? Of course she knows Ace and I are sleeping together. She's a smart woman…she's married…she has two daughters. When Zac and I started…she lectured me…but even that wasn't _this_ embarrassing. What's the difference between me making love with Zac and with Acer? What makes this so different?_

She chanced looking at her mother only when the tingling began to leave her face. Jeana looked up at her letting their eyes meet. "I told you. I'm your mother. I'm not going to judge you. I love you and I just don't want you to be hurt. But after we talked last week I knew this issue had to do with _that_ part of your relationship. When you didn't just give me the details right then and there, I knew."

Anessa watched her mother. Jeana's eyes were just a bit sad. Or was that disappointment she saw? Whatever the case, Jeana was right. And if she was correct about that, could her other thought be true as well?

The young woman sat up straighter and held her breath as she quickly put her hand back over her abdomen. Both of them noticed the movement, the placement, at the same time. Anessa didn't reach for her queasy stomach this time. Instead her hand landed lower, at the smooth, flat area of her body that her mother was questioning.

"I – I can't…" she looked at her hand and then back at her mother, shaking her head.

Jeana's motherly face returned; soft eyes, relaxed features, loving sensations reaching out to her daughter. "Ani, _is_ it possible?"

Anessa tilted her head downward, her eyes fixated on the hand that was still holding the tender area of her abdomen.

"Yes," she spoke slowly.

She raised her head and looked at Jeana with the slightest bit of fear. Jeana's little girl reached out to her mother, begging her with one simple look, to make the situation better.

Jeana stood and slowly rounded the table to wrap her arms around her baby girl. "The thing Acer lied about…it _is_ potentially life changing, isn't it?"

Anessa slumped forward toward the table feeling only a hint of comfort from her mother's hold. "Potentially, yes."

Jeana loosened her hold and began to rub Anessa's back. "Had you even thought about this possibility?" she wanted to bring her daughter back into the reality of the moment.

"No," Anessa shook her head as she rested it against her hands on the table. "I hadn't gotten that far, I guess. I've been so stuck on getting him to apologize for lying to me… I…I hadn't even let myself think about the consequences."

Jeana's hand stopped moving for just a moment. "Sweetheart, if you're pregnant, it's not a consequence. It's a baby."

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**


	5. Priorities

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 4 - Priorities**

Anessa sat dumbstruck, completely mute and unmoving at her mother's kitchen table. The possibility of being pregnant wasn't an option. The thought never entered her mind because it wasn't something that could happen in her life right now. She couldn't care for a child or love a baby the way she should – not now.

She looked down at her hands, both of them holding her abdomen, just below her belly button. Her skin was tight there, perfect. The muscles were toned and in shape and as near flat as any other fit and trim young actress. She was ready for the upcoming movie roles she had chosen.

That's where her thoughts needed to be. She didn't need to be arguing with Ace about him lying to her. She needed to concentrate on learning lines, blocking the scenes, movie premiers, flights all over the world that would keep her in the limelight.

'_It's not a consequence; it's a baby.'_ Her mother's words played over in her mind. Anessa unknowingly pouted. Jeana was wrong. If she was pregnant right now it _was_ a consequence. It was the price she would pay for having unprotected sex, one time, with Acer Roberts.

_It's not my fault. _Her own voice resounded in her head and she crossed her arms over her chest, growing angry at the thought. _If I'm pregnant it is his fault and yet I am going to suffer. _

She allowed her eyes to move around the room. Jeana had left the table after their blushing, truth-revealing conversation. Her mother had grabbed a load of laundry from the dryer and taken it into the bedroom to fold, leaving Anessa alone with her thoughts.

She chanced looking down at her hands again and immediately felt tears stinging her bottom eyelids. Every thought she had just had was true, somewhat. But, if she was pregnant – if there was a life growing inside of her right now – then how amazing would that be? After all, she _did_ want to have children…someday.

"Mama?" she knew she'd have to raise her voice more to get her mother's attention. "Mama?" she called again and heard her mother moving toward the kitchen.

"What, Sweetheart?" Jeana stepped just into the kitchen and caught the mixed emotions written in her daughter's eyes.

"I don't know what to do," Anessa admitted as she stayed practically glued to her seat at the table.

Jeana stood beside her daughter and put her hand on Anessa's shoulder. The young woman seemed to be emerging from the fog that had surrounded her earlier. The assurance of doubt was gone from her eyes leaving a somewhat humbled, scared and unsure child. Jeana's child.

"Then it _is_ possible…that you're pregnant," Jeana's words lingered as Anessa looked into her mother's face and nodded.

"Yes," she answered and took a deep breath. "Ace and I, after the awards a couple of weeks ago…we were celebrating." Her voice dipped with embarrassment and the truth of the moment. "He – he didn't use a – protection," she swallowed, waiting for her mother's reaction.

Jeana's face lacked a smile. The usually understanding mother was letting reality sink into her heart as well. "Is that normal? For him not to use protection?" she wondered with a hint of frustration.

"No," Anessa answered quickly. The night was replaying itself yet again in her mind but this time the outcome held a lot more weight than just trust and physical pleasure.

"Why, Ani? Why didn't you tell him to … did he force himself on you?" Jeana's eyes turned to concern as she watched her daughter's head shake and the redness rise up once more in the young woman's face.

"We were," Anessa's stomach knotted as she tried to find the words. "My eyes…were…were covered," her brown eyes looked down immediately to avoid the lack of understanding. After another sigh she kept her head lowered, "We were playing a game, I guess. I had a blindfold on, Mom," she mumbled just above a whisper. "I didn't know…I didn't realize he had skipped putting on a condom until…well, until after we were done."

She finally looked up at Jeana's own heated cheeks and disappointed eyes. "That's when he lied to you?" Jeana guessed.

Anessa nodded, "Yes. And when I asked him about it – I asked him directly if he had used protection - he told me he had."

"But he didn't," Jeana interjected.

Anessa nodded again. "I caught him in the lie and he tried to make an excuse…"

"But the point is, he didn't use protection. What about your birth control?" Jeana prodded.

Anessa looked at her mother, still in shock but more comfortable with this part of the issue. "My shooting schedule messed up my timing for my shot. I went the day after the mess-up with Acer. But it was the day after, and I was already a week late getting it."

Jeana's hand covered her mouth with thoughts of possible complications that might affect the baby, _IF_ Anessa was pregnant.

"Mom, what are you thinking?" Anessa wondered.

Jeana shook off the fearful thoughts and brought herself back into the moment. "You haven't taken a pregnancy test, have you?"

Anessa shook her head. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that," she spoke quietly.

Jeana breathed deeply and looked pointedly at her daughter, "Anessa, whether you're ready or not, you need to do it."

She noticed that Anessa went back into the semi-catatonic state that left her staring at a spot on the kitchen table with her lips pressed together more than tightly.

"Anessa, did you hear me?" Jeana pushed.

Her daughter moved her eyes slightly enough to make eye contact.

"When will Acer be home? The two of you need to sit down and discuss this. He's due back early next week, right?" Jeana closed her eyes and visualized a calendar as she tried to think for her daughter. "You're only a week or so after the fact now. If you wait till he's home it'll be two weeks…" she calculated verbally. "Some of the tests can be taken after just 24 hours. You don't even need to miss a period. So you could take a test before he gets home and have your answer or you can wait for him to get home..."

"Mom," Anessa interrupted with a blink of her eyes. "Mom, stop."

"Stop what, Anessa Anne?" Jeana met Anessa's glare with her own hardened look. "You can't ignore this Anessa."

"I-I'm not," Anessa put a hand to her forehead and tried to insist. "But I need to think about this, Mom. The test, the thought of being pregnant, the whole thing…it's a lot to take in."

Her eyes glazed over as Jeana watched the fear building inside of her.

"I don't want to be pregnant, Mom. I don't … want … a baby. Not right now. I'm not ready – I've got too many other things…" Anessa argued while Jeana pressed her lips together and shook her head.

"Anessa, Sweetheart, if you're pregnant then those other things will have to change. Your priorities will have to change. I'm only saying this once – if you're pregnant, God has made your choice for you. If you are meant to have a baby now, then you're going to have a baby now. You made your choice; sleeping with Acer. Right or wrong, Honey, you made your choice."

Anessa sat still, mentally willing herself to take breaths and think about what her mother was saying. She knew Jeana was absolutely right. And, somehow, she needed to come to terms with this turn that her life was possibly taking. Whether she was ready or not it was time to face reality.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Anessa sat the stick flat on the edge of the Jacuzzi tub in her master bathroom. She had read through the directions a dozen times the night before after following her mother's encouragement and purchasing the early pregnancy test. She read through them again before carrying the box, the stick and the instruction sheet into the bathroom.

She had read them so much, in fact, that she rolled her eyes at herself. _I should have them memorized by now. I've had movie roles that I haven't read this much._

After leaving her parents' home the previous afternoon she had gone for a long drive. It had been a slow, weaving drive around Mulholland, down to the main drag, around to Hollywood Boulevard and then back toward Runyon Canyon. She thought about parking and taking a walk but then she didn't want to risk running into anyone.

The funny thing was, even though she knew the route she had driven, she only remembered one part of the drive – that was the part where she had turned onto Woodrow Wilson and driven past Zac's house. It had hit her at that moment that her life had changed so much over the past year – she wondered, if she had turned into that driveway…would the security number still work, the one she remembered? Would his garage access code still work – the one she had assigned to the device when Zac purchased the house? Would he accept her into his house if she was pregnant with Acer's baby? Would this be the real breaking point in a relationship that was apparently widening like the San Andreas Fault?

And yet Zac was the only one she wanted to turn to in that moment. With the thought of another man's baby growing inside of her she still wanted to turn back to her first love.

Those thoughts were what pushed her to stop at the local supermarket and pick up the pregnancy test. It had suggested taking the test first thing in the morning. And because she wanted the outcome of this test to be accurate she was trying to follow the instructions to a "T".

She sat on the lid of the commode and waited. _Three minutes_. She spoke to herself in a whisper. One part of her was nervous. Another was excited. Another piece of her was scared to death. Then there was that piece that was angry. And at least one other single strand of her wanted Acer by her side while she was waiting for the results. Acer…or Zac.

Anessa stood up from her seat and wrapped her arms around herself. She was still in complete disbelief and denial that she was going through this process. How could one night – one special, pleasurable, enjoyable night – hold the controls over all the emotions she was feeling?

In two days, Acer would be home. In two days he would be expecting to come back to her house and pick up where he had tried to leave off last weekend. In two days the thought of the _condom thing_ would be completely clear from his mind and he would be fully expecting a 'welcome-home/I-missed-you' reunion of sorts.

_In three minutes my whole life could change._ Anessa stepped toward the tub and glanced at the plastic stick then quickly down at the floor. The various lines were beginning to appear and she had to look away.

She felt a couple of tears in her eyes and could only think of one thing to do. She sat down on the hard porcelain seat, closed her eyes and bowed her head. _God, I'm not good at this and I know I don't do it enough. But, could you just help me…to accept whatever this test says? We both know I want it to be negative…but I know – well, I just know. Whatever it says, God, will you just help me know what to do? I just – I need somebody to help me here and I think you're the only one who can. Please just hear my prayer…please?_

Anessa raised her head and used her fingertips to brush the remaining tears from her eyes. The specified time had passed. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it while staring at the plastic rectangle. With a shaking hand she reached toward the simple tool and pulled it off the edge of the tub. Without moving her head she let her eyes look downward at the results window.

The two '+' signs signaled the answer that she didn't want. But that didn't send her into overdrive. Instead she pushed out a long breath and sat up straighter on the hard seat. Her mind and her heart came together in that exact instance.

If God was giving her this answer then there were a lot of other decisions she had to make – life assessments; changes that would affect her…and her baby. Anessa looked around the hollow room that was beginning to feel less and less like home. With thoughts of Acer, her career, her family and now her _baby_ going through her mind she knew where she wanted to go.

She moved from the bathroom into her bedroom and stared at the bed. The thought of talking to Acer suddenly made her heart sink. It was no longer anger or frustration but a mental exhaustion that took over her body. _Acer as a father…_ She pushed out a breath to try and ease her churning stomach and pounding heart. _Acer as the father of my baby…_ she shook her head at the thought and leaned her hands against the bed.

_God, help me. _She gripped the comforter in her hands and tugged on it with no real intentions other than getting some of the emotions out of her body. _I can't do it, God. I can't have Acer's baby. _

The tears streamed from her eyes, down her cheeks and then dripped onto the soft fabric. _I…_ she looked toward Heaven and thought about her words as she cried. _I can't tell him that I'm pregnant. I don't want him to feel obligated. I don't want his help. I don't want him putting his arms around me and telling me we'll take care of things together. I don't want…him._

Anessa felt her face swelling slightly with the teardrops smearing, her nose running and her sobs forcing her to grasp for the tiniest breaths she could manage. Before the thoughts could completely overwhelm her she picked up her phone and dialed her mother's number.

When Jeana answered, Anessa bypassed any pleasantries. "Mama, you were right," she began.

Jeana took in an audible breath and waited for more.

After a moment of listening to the sounds of crying, Jeana heard her daughter's voice again. "I know what you're thinking. I need to tell Acer." Anessa stopped abruptly and Jeana could feel the tension through the few miles between them.

"Anessa, Honey…"

"I can't, Mama. I can't tell him that I'm pregnant. He can't know that he got me pregnant. I can't do this with him. We cannot have a baby together," Anessa spoke through gritted teeth.

Jeana held her breath for a moment and swallowed through a tight throat. "Anessa Anne, what are you saying? I need you to take a deep breath and think about this. Don't do anything rash. Sweetheart, we're talking about another life here – not Acer's, the baby, Anessa."

The silence on the line scared the older woman. "Anessa, I'm coming over. You need someone there with you. This…I know I was blunt yesterday when we talked…this is huge for you, Honey, I know that. It's a lot to take in, like you said. Let me come over there and just sit with you. You don't have to say anything unless you want to. But you won't be alone."

Anessa shook her head as though her mother could see her. "No, Mom," she sounded a bit calmer, "you don't have to do that. I'm not going to do anything to the baby. I won't hurt the baby, or myself. I promise you."

Jeana's breath relaxed slightly as she thought about what Anessa was saying. "Then what are you telling me, Baby. Why are you saying you can't have this baby?"

Anessa took in a deep, ragged breath. "I'm not…I'm not sure. I just…I don't want Acer to know I'm pregnant, okay? There are a lot of things I need to figure out and I don't want his help. I just don't."

"But Anessa, if he's the father…"

"Mom! There's no 'if' to it. I know that Acer is the father without any questions or doubts. You know me better than that," she huffed and nearly hung up the phone.

"That is _NOT_ what I meant, Anessa!" Jeana practically shouted to keep her daughter's attention. "I simply meant that he needs to know. If you two were on track to make up and be back together then he absolutely needs to know. How else are you going to explain to the world that you're pregnant?"

Anessa rubbed her temple with her index fingertip and shook her head. "That's one of the million things I have to figure out. Just, please, if Acer calls you, don't mention the baby, okay? That's what I'm asking you, Mom. You and I know the truth right now. And for a little while, I want to keep it that way."

Jeana nodded her head. "I would still like to come over. I don't think you should be alone right now."

Anessa steeled herself to refuse her mother's offer and yet assure Jeana that she would be fine. "I'm going out."

"What?" Jeana straightened her back and tilted her head in confusion. "Where are you going?"

"After we talked yesterday and I decided to take the test…I've been thinking ever since then…I need to get away for a little while, just me. I need to just be able to think about all this and try to get some kind of rational thinking – if that's even possible. So I'm gonna get out of the house for a few days."

"Anessa? Where are you going? Are you sure that's a good idea? Honey, you probably need to make a doctor's appointment; make sure everything is okay with the baby…"

"Mama?" she interrupted calmly.

"Hmmm?" Jeana sighed.

"Please just trust me. Just let me do what I want to do right now. I need to pull my head together and find a way to understand what's going on. I promise you I'll be fine. I won't be completely alone. And, I'll call you if anything happens."

Jeana pressed her lips together and held back the tears that were forming in her eyes. "Can I ask you one thing? Will you promise me one thing?" She couldn't avoid the nasal sound that told Anessa how her mother was hurting.

"What's that?" the young woman's tone softened even more.

"No…no abortion, please? However you choose to handle the situation with Acer… just give this baby a chance, please?"

Anessa broke down again, her tears joining Jeana's in the fear of what this news could pressure her to do.

"I…" she hesitated with a hundred thoughts rolling through her mind. "I promise, Mama."

The two ended their call on that note. Jeana followed with a silent prayer that her daughter would keep her promise; and Anessa simply tried to focus on the fact that she was carrying a child.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

After a few more deep breaths Anessa returned to the bathroom. Her tears had dried and her eyes stung in the aftermath. She picked up the plastic stick and looked at it again. The plus signs were darker now, no less of an indication of what was happening inside of her.

She thought about her mother's plea. The thought had crossed her mind. In the barrage of bombshells that had spun in her head along the drive the previous day, she thought, for one fleeting moment, about aborting the baby. In the grand scheme of her life, that would be the easy way out. Just a couple of weeks into this pregnancy she could argue that the fetus was nothing more than a few cells in her body. Her body, her choice.

But she had never taken the easy way out of any situation.

So, with Jeana's words held in her ears, she knew, yet again, that abortion wasn't the answer. Those few cells had miraculously formed a life inside of her. And even now that life was growing and held the promise of a living future. She wouldn't deny this child its life. Even if the circumstances surrounding the conception weren't what she had ever envisioned, they were what they were – she was going to be a mother.

She exhaled heavily to ward of the tears that began building behind that mental declaration. Next, Anessa threw the pregnancy test in the trash can and made her way downstairs. In a silent trance she grabbed her purse, her keys and a bottle of water. She wouldn't need anything else. Where she was going she would have everything that she needed. And even if her needs weren't met right away she knew they would be eventually.

She could already feel the warmth she was imagining. That's what would help her make any decision she needed to make. And above that she would feel loved. No questions, no finger-pointing, no pressures – at least not right away; just a place where she and her baby could feel safe, and wanted and loved.

The car seemed to know exactly where it was going. It was a similar route to the one she had driven the previous night. Only this time she didn't wonder about the security box at the end of the driveway on Woodrow Wilson. Instead she stopped, punched in the code and then proceeded up the hill when the gate opened.

She no longer worried whether Zac would accept her into his house or not. She needed him and the comfort he could give her. That was enough to make this decision the correct one.

Jeana was right. A positive pregnancy test was already affecting Anessa's priorities. First and foremost she needed to be with someone she could trust and someone who valued trust and truth and love.

It didn't matter that she was pregnant with Acer's child. She needed Zac.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	6. Cry For Help

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 5 – Cry for Help**

Zac felt a heaviness in the air as he hit the buttons on the security panel to open the gate at the top of the hill. He couldn't put his finger on it, but his conversation with Lyza had waned when they started the steep winding climb that led to his driveway.

Their date had been normal. They had discussed upcoming movie roles, scripts, productions, movies they wanted to see and even their families. The young, dark-haired actress sitting in the passenger seat had become a good friend to Zac. She had become a sounding-board, someone he could go to dinner with and someone who, like Anessa, would gripe about the paparazzi and the various rumors that always followed the lives of famous young people.

On this particular date Lyza had listened to Zac reminisce about the awards show that the two of them had attended two weeks prior. That had also been a good date for them. Just like tonight they enjoyed a nice dinner and a show, of sorts, with just a hint at more than friendship in their time together. Even though they had shared hand-holding and short, soft kisses, Lyza knew where Zac's heart was still beating and he was thoughtful enough to not push the issue.

As they topped the driveway and Zac nosed the car toward his garage two things struck both of them. First, the garage door was open; second, there was another car in Zac's garage and although it practically matched the sedan they were currently sitting in, it wasn't one of his.

"Whose car –" Lyza looked toward Zac as he answered.

"Anessa?" His confused gaze stared straight at the vehicle that looked completely natural – to him - in _his_ home.

Lyza sat for a minute as Zac maneuvered his Audi around to park in an open area of the driveway. When he turned off the lights and ignition he kept his hands on the steering wheel, gripping quite tightly.

"Are you okay?" Lyza inquired quietly.

"I'm not sure," Zac answered her just as softly but didn't look at her.

"Why would Anessa be here? Do you think everything is alright?" She let her thoughts wander out loud.

"I don't know," Zac mumbled, shook his head then turned and looked at his friend. "I – I don't know – there's no reason that I can think of…unless something is wrong." He let go of the wheel and placed his fingers on the door handle pulling only slightly to get out of the car.

Lyza grabbed her purse from the floorboard and made a quicker exit than Zac. "Do you want me to go in with you? She didn't say anything at the awards ceremony…I mean, she didn't mention coming to visit, or… or anything, right?"

Zac stood from the car and looked across the shiny, black top. He let his hands rest on the cool metal for just a moment as he took a deep breath and looked at his date. "No. Ly, does it bother you that she's here?" He asked with concern and curiosity.

She stepped toward the house and then looked back at Zac, listening carefully to his tone. "We don't know _why_ she's here. She's still your friend, a very special friend," she added shyly, "and that's fine. I'm your friend, too, Zac. I'm more worried about _why_ she's here than the fact that she's at your house."

Zac walked toward the young woman and laid his hand on the small of her back, urging her toward the door of his home. "Thank you," he said simply and bent to give her a kiss on her cheekbone as he turned the knob and walked into the kitchen.

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**

If Anessa's car had not been in the garage Zac and Lyza could find no other indication - at first sight - that there was anyone else in the expansive house. Lyza leaned against one of the barstools in the kitchen while Zac walked into the living room. He looked back to give her a shake of his head and creased eyebrows before turning toward the bedrooms on the opposite side of the house.

Lyza sat nervously at the counter. She strummed her fingers on the hard granite while trying to figure out why she felt uneasy at the thought of interacting with Zac's previous girlfriend – the one he still loved. The young woman rolled her eyes at her inward thoughts and sighed. She took out her cell phone and tapped on it mindlessly, looking at her email and Twitter accounts. After several minutes she heard slow footsteps heading toward her. She put the phone down and looked up in time to see Zac run a hand through his hair.

"Is she here?" Lyza asked with a pensive look. She noted to herself, alone, the almost selfish feeling that was forming in the pit of her stomach. She willed his answer to be 'no', but knew it was the opposite by the stance he took in front of her.

Zac nodded and stepped close enough to let his knees graze Lyza's before saying anything. "She's asleep in my bed," he offered and then immediately looked toward the young woman's kneading hands.

"What? Why would she be…" Lyza's voice trailed off when Zac reached down and took one of her hands in his.

"I don't know, Ly. She's just…she's curled up in a ball and she's asleep in the middle of my bed."

Lyza glanced at the clock on his stove. 10:30PM; it was hardly a late-night bedtime for any Hollywood twenty-something. "Was she…" her dark eyes hesitated to finish her thought but knew she had to, simply to satisfy her curiosity. "Is she…what's...she wearing?" she let the words out, knowing the thought would likely upset her male friend.

Zac didn't pause with his answer as he brushed a finger over her knuckles and raised them up against his cheek. "It looked like a t-shirt and shorts," he blinked his eyes slowly and then looked into Lyza's face. "I just opened the door and peeked in. I didn't say anything to her and I didn't try to wake her. I – I'll probably just get changed and then sleep on the couch in the basement."

Lyza nodded at his answer as she watched his blue eyes, not far from her face. "Zac?"

"Yeah?" he pressed his lips together but continued to just stare at Lyza with a lost look in his eyes.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I – I'm not the significant other…I'm not… the girlfriend, even," she let her eyes dart away from his. "But there's this part of me that _is_ upset that she's here."

Lyza sighed and pulled her hand out of Zac's grasp before standing and crossing her arms loosely across her chest. "Ly," Zac called out to her just enough to let her know that he was listening and - in this unexpected situation - he heard and understood her.

"As your friend…I don't want her to hurt you – again. Actually, I want to call Acer Roberts and ask _him_ why she's here. But the fact that she's _here_, at your house, for whatever reason, leads me to believe that she doesn't want him to know where she is. Does that even make sense?" Lyza wandered to the other side of Zac's kitchen, taking in the various cooking items that were scattered around as decorations.

"Yeah," Zac began. "It makes perfect sense," he nodded and watched Lyza walking around. "There's this part of _me_ that wants to call him and find out what the hell he did that pushed her to come over here."

Lyza could feel the tension in Zac's voice even in just that one sentence. "But you can't do that. You can't threaten him, Zac. You haven't even talked to her. You have no idea why she's here. _If_ it's because of Acer, you've gotta play the good guy and help her straighten this out. If she's fallen in love with him, you can't just _attack_ him and drive him away. If you do that she'll hate you for it."

Zac ran a hand over his face and squeezed his eyes shut for several moments. "How did you know…"

"Because I know you still love her." Lyza turned her back on Zac to hide the few tears that began pooling in her eyes. "There's no question about that in my mind," she shrugged her shoulders then tensed her muscles to try and hang onto the little bit of composure that she still had. "You and I are friends. You and I are _good_ friends, but we'll never be more than just holding hands and lovely kisses because you are still in love with her. I get that. And because I get that, I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want you to do something that will hurt _you_ in the long run." Lyza's arms tightened as she spoke. She wanted to protect him, even from himself.

Zac stepped toward his good friend and put a hand gently on her shoulder. He ran that same hand down her arm and felt her shiver at his touch before wrapping his other arm around her waist. He held her softly, connecting both his hands together and pulling her against him until he could lay his cheek against the top of her head. "I'm sorry," he offered sincerely.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Lyza responded without letting her body relax in his hold. "You've told me from the first time we went out that you needed someone to talk to and just hang around with; someone who would listen. I knew what I was getting into when I met you for lunch that first time."

"Did you?" Zac questioned. He adjusted their position until she was flush against him with her head tucked protectively under his chin.

"I'm not naïve, Zac. Not only have you talked about Anessa on just about every date we've had, I read the magazines and saw the pictures of you two together. I was Team Zanessa for a while," Lyza admitted with a soft chuckle. Her head lobbed back when she felt him tense slightly and then let out a quiet laugh.

"Seriously?" He asked in his next breath, urging her to continue.

"Until the breakup, yeah," Lyza hesitated. "Do I dare say I was even a little angry at her when she started dating Acer?" She finally let one of her hands rest on top of Zac's arms that continued to hold her.

"But Lyza, you and I went out before she and Acer started dating," Zac tried to put the calendar puzzle together in his mind.

"I know. But like I said, I've known all along that you still love her. When she and Acer _did_ go out I could hear the hurt in your voice on the phone; I could see it in your eyes, Zac. She hurt you and that made me angry."

Zac loosened his hold just a little. "You never said…"

"Because you needed a friend. I'm here, Zac. You're a wonderful man and I'm glad we are friends. I'm glad you chose me to confide in and talk to," Lyza breathed in deeply. She had said enough without giving away too much of herself. Now they both needed to confront the fact that the woman he still loved was at his home and in his bed at that very moment.

"Now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do," Zac turned her in his arms and yet still held onto her waist. "You're very special to me. You_ are_ the friend I needed – the one I _still need_. You're right, Ly. I have no clue why Anessa's here. I have a bad feeling about this, and yet there's a part of me that is almost excited that she's here. I miss her. But you're right…I can't jump to conclusions or gripe at Acer until I have some answers. Even then, I can't."

Lyza pushed herself away from him slightly and steadied herself into a determined position. She nodded and then leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm gonna head home. You need to figure out what's going on and I highly doubt Anessa would appreciate waking up to me standing beside you."

"But –" Zac reached out quickly to stop her.

"No buts," Lyza forced a less-than-relaxed smile to form on her face. "We're fine. We're friends. And because we're friends I expect you to call me and let me know what's going on, when you can. Right now you need to – either - go wake her up and try to talk to her, or get some sleep yourself. I've got a feeling this isn't just an "I-Miss-Zac" sleepover.

The muscles on her face finally drew the smile into a more natural pose causing Zac to roll his eyes. She headed toward the door with Zac following behind her. When he opened the wooden piece Lyza turned and leaned on the frame for just a moment.

"Good luck," she offered and reached up to run her thumb over his cheekbone.

Zac nodded at her words. "Thanks, I have a feeling I'm gonna need it."

The two shared a quick kiss on the lips before Lyza headed to her car. She sent him a final wave of her fingers through the driver's side window as she pulled the car through the heavy gate and rolled toward the main road.

**ReadyorNotReadyorNot**

Zac stood in his living room and crossed his arms as he stared down the hallway. He tried to remember the last time Anessa had been asleep in his bed. It had been around the time of their 'final goodbye', at least that's how he chose to see the end of their relationship.

The actual, final, parting words had happened at her place. It was a night of tears, love-making, and an early morning wakeup when he had taken a few of his belongings from her home and left before she awoke. The paps had caught him leaving her house that morning, which lead him to send Anessa a text later in the day: _I love you but if this separation is going to work, we can't see each other…period. Someday, maybe, but not until the hype dies down. I'll miss you. xoxo_

He shivered when he thought about the various nights before that one. One in particular when they had climbed into his bed together and simply held each other the entire night. It had been, in his opinion, one of the most intimate times they had ever spent together. Very few words had been said, both had been dressed in simple shorts and t-shirts. Kisses were shared, touches were romantic and senses were at hi alert. But they never made love. They simply savored those moments, knowing they were some of the last they would probably share together.

And yet as Zac stood outside that very bedroom door and leaned his forehead against the frame, Anessa was there again. But why?

He opened the door quietly and left it open while he tiptoed to the side of the bed. Her shorter, dark hair was covering part of her face as though she might have tossed and turned. She was placed in the center of the bed, her head taking up the corners of his two pillows. Zac resisted his urge to move some of her hair in order to see her long lashes that jutted from her smooth eyelids.

He did smile, though, when he noticed her makeshift pajamas. The plain white t-shirt and navy blue boxer shorts were ones that had been buried at the bottom of his sock drawer for more than 20 months. To say he had forgotten about them was a lie. To realize that she still knew exactly where to find her 'emergency' sleep clothes was a tribute to their half-decade together.

It was all he could do not to reach down and wrap his arms around her. In that same thought, however, Zac realized that there had to be some kind of ulterior motive that had brought her here and placed her in his bed. No, she wasn't there dressed provocatively, trying to seduce him. No, she wasn't asleep on his couch, needing a place to sleep off a hangover. No she wasn't in his kitchen making his favorite foods to try and break some bad news to him. So then why was she here?

He stared at her for another five minutes before he nearly laughed at himself. _What am I, a stalker? Yikes! _He shook his head and then decided to change clothes and get ready to sleep, himself. As he told Lyza, he would sleep on the couch, let Anessa sleep where she was, and then try to figure out what was going on in the morning.

Zac grabbed a pair of cotton shorts and a shirt from his closet and then moved into the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. All sorts of thoughts raced through his mind in the two minutes that he spent swishing the minty paste around in his mouth.

_Acer Roberts, if you've hurt her…if she has ONE mark on her body…Maybe it's not something he did…but maybe it is. I'm right here Anessa. I'm right here. What if something happened to Jeana? Dear God, please let Jeana be okay. Where're Ella and Greg? It doesn't matter, Ani. Whatever you need, you know I'm still here._

The different scenarios scared him and yet soothed him just the same. No matter what the situation, she was here at his home. Whatever was going on she still trusted him and felt safe at his house. A spark of pride ran through his body, something he had missed for months and months. Anessa Anne Hart trusted him. He was a friend to this beautiful young woman. For the period of time since their final goodbye he had wondered if she would still consider him her friend or confidante in any way. Now he had his answer. Yes, from her presence in the adjacent room he was proud to believe that he was still Anessa's friend.

The audible shift on the mattress made him peek through the bathroom door. He was pretty sure he wasn't thinking out loud but had obviously been lost in his last thoughts. Zac dimmed the lights in the bathroom but didn't turn them completely off. He started to sneak back through the bedroom toward the open door but was caught by the soft voice that was still curled on the bed.

"Zac? Is that you?" she practically whispered in a scratchy voice.

"Shhh," he answered without moving toward her. "Go back to sleep. Yeah, it's just me."

Anessa raised her head up to see his shadow standing by the door, backlit by the light from the hallway. "Don't…don't go, please?"

The shaking in her voice wasn't just sleep-induced. He had learned her different tones during the first year of their relationship. This quiet, deep, yet childlike sound was one brought on by tears.

"I'll just be on the couch," Zac answered. "You sleep here, it's fine," he offered, to try and appease her.

Before he could turn away she reached out her arms toward him and he could see the glistening wetness on her cheek.

"I – I just need you to hold me, please?" she asked with a slight sniffle, causing him to lose any resolve he might have had.

Zac made his way to the side of the bed and sat down, scooting himself back against the pillow and the headboard. Anessa moved closer to him and looked through the darkness into his eyes before laying her head down on his shoulder.

"Ani, tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt?" Zac whispered against her hair, finally getting his chance to run his fingers through her tresses and wrap his arms around her.

She simply shook her head and pressed her body closer to his. The feel of his skin warming her cold biceps, his thumb caressing her cheek with practiced gentleness; she only knew she wanted it to continue. She didn't want to talk; she wasn't sure what to say.

In that moment she only knew that she had made one right choice. Being in Zac's home, in his bed, with his arms around her, was exactly where she needed to be.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	7. Old Habits

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 6 – Old Habits**

Anessa felt the weight shift against her cheek and the sensation that she was being moved from her comfortable location. She blinked a few times but her heavy eyelids still couldn't completely open, leaving her to wonder where she was – and, more importantly, who was she with?

"Ace?" she breathed and then felt the body beside her stiffen. She licked her lips and began to move her neck and shoulders. "Where am I?" she slightly registered a faint light in another room to her side and an open door in front of her. What she could see of the dark room felt familiar, even if she didn't at the moment.

"Shhh," the sound vibrated from the person beside her, calming her questions without actually answering either of them.

The young woman turned her head against the t-shirt covered chest and nuzzled an area just below his pectoral muscle. The knowing scent jolted her eyes open and then allowed her to roll and place her arms around his waist. "Zac," her voice relaxed and formed his name without another hesitation.

"Shhh," he repeated, "Go back to sleep. It's five in the morning."

"Ok," she began to follow his instructions with thoughts of their past wrapping her in a tight, warm blanket. "I love you, Zac."

The man beside her placed his arm across hers which was now splayed across his waist. "I love you, too, Ani." Zac swallowed the questions that were forming in his mind, desperate for answers but willing to let her rest for a little while longer.

He rubbed his other hand along her bicep, between her shoulder and elbow, a comforting trail that caused Anessa to relax even more. Her body fit against his. Zac instinctively dipped his nose and lips into her hair on the top of her head. He kissed her gently and breathed in. "Why are you here, Ani?" he asked rhetorically for the moment. "And why do I feel like you're exactly where you need to be?"

He held her and stared into the murky darkness. How many times had he held her like this? How many times had they shifted in this very bed, woken in the wee morning hours, and held some of their most meaningful conversations? Should he wake her now and ask her what brought her back to his home?

The questions rolled around and around and yet her moment of sleepy haze reminded him that whatever her reason for being here, she obviously needed rest. Zac leaned his head back against the headboard and kept his arms wrapped around her.

He thought about Lyza and their conversation. She was a good friend. He had thought about becoming more than just a good friend to her.

Twice. He could remember the two times when she had come into his home for a drink after dinner and they had gone farther than just a passionate kiss on the couch. The first time their shirts had been discarded and Lyza had felt his reaction to her place on top of him. She had taken the initiative and kissed his jaw, then down his neck, before she happened onto the sensitive spot on his collarbone. He had laughed, groaned when she backed up to nip at it, and then clenched his teeth together. _"Ani, I swear if you leave bite marks there again…"_

Both had frozen at his words. Both had raised their heads and let their eyes meet. Lyza's lips had pressed together allowing Zac to see the war of her emotions. Without a word she had quietly climbed off the couch, gathered her shirt and handed Zac his garment.

"_Ly…I'm sorry,"_ Zac remembered her simply breathing and a nervous nod of her head before she led the way to his door and looked up at him innocently, stating in a whisper that she'd see him later.

The second time they had started the fireplace and were simply having a conversation when Zac had moved in and kissed her unexpectedly. Lyza laughed nervously at first, but then began returning his kiss. That instance had ended with both of them beginning to undress the other before Lyza took his face between her hands and told him simply, _"Stop."_

Again there had been no explanation, no real apologies and none were needed. The woman currently in his arms was the one he wanted to hold for the rest of his life. Lyza was more aware of that than Zac during their dates. His friend had fallen in love with him. Zac was quite sure of that. And in some ways he loved Lyza as well.

But not like he loved Anessa Anne Hart.

And the thing standing between him and a relationship with Lyza was that very love – and the fact that Lyza was quite aware of the flame that was still burning. Zac sighed. The thoughts were making him sleepy but there was a string of nerves telling him that if he fell asleep again, he would wake up with empty arms. At the moment, that's something he didn't want.

As his mind drifted between Lyza's friendship and Anessa's love he felt the young woman in his arms shift again. This time Anessa pulled her arm from under his. Her fingers proceeded to find the hem of his shirt and worked their way underneath. Once her palm came in contact with his belly button she slid her hand just another inch north. He felt her hand go limp, completely relaxed. He looked down, trying to see her face that was cuddled against the side of his chest – but he didn't need to.

After years of experience…after years of allowing her hands to find their way to various places on his body…after years of sleeping in this exact position, he knew exactly how her face looked at this very moment. Relaxed, content, safe and loved.

That one thought was enough to make him give in to his body's demands. Within the next five minutes Zac had joined Anessa, back in the land of their dreams.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Two hours later Zac awoke again to the feeling he had dreaded. Empty arms, empty bed. He tried not to panic and assured himself that the night hadn't been a dream. He had found Anessa asleep in his bed. She _had_ asked him to hold her and they _had_ fallen asleep together. He had held her the entire night and yet now she wasn't there.

He lay there for several minutes recounting the overnight hours. There was absolutely no hint to tell him why she was there. And, if she had actually left his house this morning then the mystery would remain unsolved.

With that thought he threw back the covers and sat up on the side of the bed. He looked toward the still-open bedroom door and into the bathroom. With a heavy sigh he pulled himself up and headed into the tiled area. He stopped before he could get over to the commode.

There, on the sink – on Anessa's side of the sink, he noted – was a travel toothbrush and his tube of toothpaste – with the lid off. The items made him smile; how could he not. It was just another sign that she really was here. And on the humorous side, her habits had not changed.

Zac quickly went through a still-familiar wakeup routine, washing his hands, drying them on the towel, putting the lid back on the toothpaste and setting Ani's toothbrush on the back of the sink. Then he headed out of the bedroom to find the woman who owed him some sort of explanation – or at least a good morning hug.

He wandered into the kitchen to a sight that he had longed to see for nearly two years: Anessa was standing at the counter, cutting fruit and slipping it silently into the blender. Her back was turned toward Zac as he walked toward her. He stopped a few feet short of touching her and watched her work.

His eyes scanned her from head to toe, looking for any changes that he would've missed over the past months. Other than her shorter hair the other thing that he noted was the tattoo on the side of her neck. The image made his eyes roll.

He had seen her artwork on a couple of internet websites. She had threatened to get a tat several times during their years together and he had always talked her out of it. Apparently, the inking was something she had chosen to do soon after their break began.

Zac resisted the urge to move closer to her and gently run his fingertips over the butterfly that adorned one of his favorite nuzzling spots. At the same time he flexed his bicep where the feather outlines were etched. He had followed her lead, somewhat, deciding after several drinks and pressure from his friends that he, too, needed a tattoo. With everything in him he tried to remember what the feathers were supposed to represent. The only thing he could actually say about his own marking was that the feathers formed an "A" on the inside of his upper arm, on purpose.

He watched for another moment as Anessa cut up a banana and placed it carefully into the kitchen device. As she put the lid on the container he noted that she moved slowly and her shoulders sagged. Zac witnessed the deep breath that she took and her head shaking ever so slightly before she hit the button to blend all of the ingredients together.

When she stopped the whirring noise, he took the chance to let her know that he was out of bed.

"Hey, Stranger," he stood still behind her as she jerked with a bit of fright and then turned and placed her hand over her heart.

With wide eyes Anessa tried to find a hint of a smile in the middle of her thoughts about the decisions she had to make. "Zac…" she didn't make a move toward him but stood staring directly into his eyes.

It only took her a moment for the hormonal emotions to hit again. She admired his eyes, the softness, the smile on his unshaven face. He was happy to see her – for the moment. And his accepting, loving look just added to the myriad of feelings that were coursing through her.

She couldn't find words to even speak to him. Instead she blinked and let the tears escape from her eyes. Anessa moved both hands to her face, covering her eyes and her cheeks. This was where she wanted to be, where she was supposed to be, but what was she supposed to do now?

Zac stepped to her immediately, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly into him. "Shhh, now…what's all this about?" He started every soothing action he could think of. He whispered into her ear, "It's ok, Baby. Whatever is going on, it's okay. Look, you're right here with me and it's just fine."

She turned her hands against his chest and grasped his t-shirt, letting her tears fall against the material. She felt his hands massaging her back, his gentle kisses on the top of her head, his chest holding her and his arms refusing to let her fall.

Anessa soaked in the feeling that she had missed. The thought of her situation mixed with 'what-if' ideas and brought several sobs out of her body.

Zac held her shaking form and continued whispering to her. Neither of them knew exactly what he was saying but the sound of his voice was comforting her. In return the feel of her in his arms was a gift to him.

After long minutes Anessa let go of his shirt and pushed against his chest slightly to separate them. "I'm sorry," she looked down toward the floor until she felt his fingers under her chin, urging her to look at him.

"Anessa," he looked through her eyes, "Don't be sorry. It's me. I'm right here. Tell me what's going on, please."

Anessa looked down again. Her eyes focused on the loose bodice of the shirt she was wearing, the portion hanging over her abdomen. She shook her head, "I…I can't."

She raised her eyes back to him and Zac could see the weariness.

"Okay," he slouched a little and released his hug, moving his arms to her biceps. His smile wiped away and he looked more closely at her arms where his hands were kneading gently against her muscles.

He looked at her cheeks and eyes, forehead and chin. Then he dropped his chin and cradled her face in his hands. "Anessa, are you hurt?" His eyes shifted back and forth between hers.

She pressed her lips together and let her eyes move to meet his. Her hands wrapped around his wrists just to maintain the contact. She blinked slowly and shook her head within his gentle hold. "No."

She thought about the question and her answer. She knew what Zac was asking – and no, Acer hadn't hurt her in that way. He wouldn't. In that thought he and Zac were much the same – physical abuse was never an issue, not with either of these men.

And yet she was hurt, and hurting. But she wasn't ready to share the truth with Zac yet. As he stood there holding her, talking to her she realized that for a little while she just wanted a quiet place to be. She hoped Zac would allow her to make his home that place.

Zac was still looking at her as the various thoughts moved through her mind. "Is your family – Jeana and Greg and Ella – are they okay?" His eyes drove home the care and concern that filled his voice. "Is…" he hesitated and sucked in a breath that he held for a moment before continuing, "is Acer alright?"

His fidgeting lips gave away the truth – he really didn't want to ask the last part of his question and yet he had.

Anessa rubbed her thumbs along the insides of his wrists while she held their eyes together. She opened her mouth to answer him but then let her eyelids shut for a moment. She reopened them in a tired movement that made Zac want to help her even more. "They're all fine. Mom, Dad, Ella…and Ace…they're just fine."

"Okay," Zac answered with a nod. His eyes moved with hers and he reluctantly let his hands drop from her face. She let go of his wrists and Zac's arms fell back to his sides. "If it's not them…I know something's wrong Anessa. That's obvious. But if you can't tell me…then why are you here, at my house?"

She pressed her lips together again and looked around, shaking her head the whole time. Instead of saying anything she turned back to the blender and glasses on the counter.

"Do…do you want some breakfast?" She asked less than casually.

The sigh that came from Zac sounded defeated. She heard him breathe in again and could imagine him running his hand through his hair trying to pull the frustration out of his body. She wanted to tell him what was going on, what was wrong, but her heart wasn't ready. And at the moment, with the news she would eventually tell him, neither was his.

She poured a glass of the fruit mixture for each of them and turned to hand one to Zac. Without a word she led the way to his kitchen table where they each sat and sipped at the sweet flavor.

Anessa watched every slight move that Zac made, even as he watched her and then looked around the room.

"We had..." she started just above a whisper and licked her lips as she tried to determine her next words, "a disagreement, Ace and I did. I…am probably more upset about it than I should be." Her lips bonded before she took another drink and set the glass back on the table. "He had to go out of town for the week. And, the more I think about it…our disagreement," her face twisted as she replayed the previous day in her mind, "the less I want to see him when he comes home."

Zac's eyes didn't blink as he listened to her. Her attempt at an explanation gave away very little about her intentions, or her reasons for being in this location. Still, his mix of emotions included a happy feeling that she had chosen to come to his house.

He shook his head, "Alright. But are you trying to make him more angry?" Zac leaned back against his chair and kept his arms stretched out, moving his drink in a slow circle between his hands. "By coming to my house, are you trying to upset him, Anessa?"

She shook her head slowly, trying to clear her thoughts and still give him something more than just a vague answer. "No. He doesn't know where I am. No one does, except me and you. I told Mom I needed to get out of the house for a few days but I didn't tell her where I was going."

Zac nodded, "When's Acer coming home? What happens after he gets home?"

Anessa raised both her hands off the table slightly to stop his questioning. "I don't know yet, Zac. I needed a place where I could think. Honestly, when I got in the car I ended up here. All I knew when I left was that I trust you. I know you'll take care of me," she dropped her gaze to her fingers as her words pressed a deeper meaning against her heart.

She lifted her eyes back to his, "Can I just stay here for a few days and think this through?" Her brown irises pleaded with him, knowing in this situation he couldn't deny her.

Zac inhaled slowly. He wanted nothing more than for her to stay there with him. She was welcome. She would always be welcome. Of course she could trust him – always.

"Of course you can stay here," his eyes dipped with another question that he wasn't sure he should ask.

"But?" Anessa tilted her head to try and read his face.

His innocent eyes turned back to hers, "Do you just need the place, Anessa, or…do you need me, too?"

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

The two looked at each other without smiles. Anessa tried to convey an answer to him through her eyes and after a few silent moments she had to look away. She stood and took her glass to the sink where she looked out the window overlooking his back yard.

"I'm not sure what I need right now. A friend? One who won't ask a lot of questions?" She shrugged her shoulders and leaned against the granite counter staring in Zac's direction but looking right through him. "I think I came here imagining you holding me when my thoughts overwhelm me. I came here out of habit, or instinct, I don't know which. I just knew in my heart that I could find some answers here, with you."

She focused back on Zac's face, his profile, as he continued to play with his drink, running his finger around the lip of the glass.

"Lyza knows you're here, too," he brought up, seemingly out of the blue.

"What?" Anessa's eyes grew concerned but she kept her focus on him as he talked.

"You were saying that no one knows you're here but us. But Lyza does too. She and I were out when you got here yesterday…"

Anessa nodded, "That was the other car in the driveway. I knew it wasn't yours. BMW's aren't you," she smiled slightly.

He glanced at her leaning on the sink and returned the momentary grin. "When we came back your car was in the garage. She came in with me to make sure everything was okay. You were asleep."

Anessa stretched her neck and rolled her tongue around in her mouth. "I – I'm sorry if I interrupted your evening." She bit down slightly on her tongue, silently chastising herself for forgetting the woman that Zac had been seeing lately.

"No," Zac shook his head then stood up and walked toward her. "You didn't interrupt anything." He stood beside her and rested his own hip against the waist-high cabinet. "Ly and me…there's nothing more than friendship there," he swallowed, thinking about the look on the young woman's face last night when they had discovered Anessa at Zac's home.

Anessa's eyebrows creased and a worried look took over her expression. "Really? Meaning the two of you haven't…" she cringed slightly and shook her head with the unspoken question.

Zac huffed a quiet laugh. "We've tried." He laughed again more loudly at the expression on Ani's face. "What's that look?"

Anessa looked away, slightly embarrassed, "Nothing. I – I just assumed…I just…just thought more, I guess."

Zac reached up to rub the back of his neck with his own touch of a blush, "Things just never got there for us." He stopped with that thought and looked meaningfully at Anessa.

"Sometimes I wish I could say the same thing about me and Acer. Things…" she hesitated, "we moved quicker than we probably should've," she frowned. "That's part of the reason I'm here. I need to step back and think about a lot of things in our relationship."

Anessa looked up at Zac. "I didn't even think – this is too weird, isn't it? I didn't think things through. I probably shouldn't have come here, should I? It's gonna make things weird between you and Lyza and you don't want to hear me talk about my issues with Ace. I'm sorry, Zac." She looked back out the window and shook her head sadly. "I shouldn't be here."

Zac stopped her with one hand on her shoulder, sweeping down with a warm touch to hold her hand. "Don't say that. Do you know how good it feels to know that you trust me enough to come here? Our relationship, Ani, I never considered it over. Things got screwed up and we had to go different ways but I haven't stopped loving you. You know that, don't you? Of course you can come here. Whatever is going on, of course you can be here with me. Even if we're nothing more than friends, we _are _just that. We _are _friends. We were friends before anything else and _that_ will never change as far as I'm concerned. Okay?"

The tears began again before Anessa could get her free hand around his neck to bring them into a hug of pure friendship.

"That's exactly what I need right now, Zac. I need a friend. I need somebody who will listen to me ramble and think out loud with me and try to get my head screwed back on. I do need you, Zac."

Zac wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly. Whatever she was going through, he wouldn't let her go through it alone. As a friend or as more than a friend he would be there for her.

"Ani, Baby, I'm right here. Morning, noon or night…even at three in the morning if you can actually wake me up. You've got me, ok? You're safe here with me and I'm right here for you."

Anessa squeezed her arms tighter around his neck and pressed her face against his cheek. "You're too good to me, Zac. I love you."

Zac closed his eyes and smiled against her warmth. He kept his response simple, trying not to over-think the situation before he actually knew why she was truly in his arms again. "And I love you, Anessa Anne. I love you, too."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	8. Facing the Giant

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 7 – Facing the Giant**

Two days passed before Zac tried to broach the subject of Anessa's visit again. In the 48 hours since the two had spoken and embraced, Zac had rounded up a few groceries to keep them fed and simply made himself available, day and night, whenever she needed someone to hold her.

He resisted asking questions that were too specific or that even related to Acer Roberts. Their few conversations had revolved around Anessa's younger sister, upcoming movie projects and their mutual friends. But for the most part Ani had spent hours sitting in Zac's back yard, silent.

Her third morning at his home - wearing his clothing, standing at his stove - pushed Zac to an edge. She had claimed the spare room next to the master bedroom. And yet at some point in the middle of the last two nights she had crawled into bed with him and curled into his arms. She had tried to keep her tears quiet but it didn't matter, Zac knew she was crying.

On day three he needed more than scrambled eggs and a conversation that included, _"I think I'm doing better. I just need a little while longer…"_ He sat down on the edge of the maple wood table and crossed his arms, slightly nervously, across his chest. He didn't want to upset her, but he needed to know more.

Before he could say anything, an unfamiliar ringtone sounded on the desk where their two cell phones were charging. He witnessed Anessa's body as it froze and turned in the direction of the sound.

In the same instance she realized Zac was there, watching her. She stepped once toward the phone and then stopped; the internal war seemingly raging. After 30 seconds the phone was quiet and Anessa let out a sigh of relief. Her eyes met Zac's for a single moment before she turned back to the stove to finish preparing their food.

Zac stayed motionless against the table. "Acer's back home. Is he just now trying to call you?"

Anessa shrugged one shoulder but didn't answer. Instead she tipped the skillet and moved the eggs onto the plates she had chosen.

"Anessa?" Zac's voice sounded almost fatherly, caring but concerned.

"Hmmm?" She responded without turning around, grabbing bread from the toaster and finishing their morning meals.

"It's time for you to tell me what's going on." Zac watched her pick up the plates and turn toward him. She brought the food and placed it on the table beside him, then took her own place on the opposite side. Never once did she look at him.

"Did you hear me?" Zac turned around and placed his hands on the table as he looked at her, poking her fork through the eggs on her plate.

She nodded like a little girl who was being scolded by her parents.

"That _was_ Acer calling, wasn't it? And that's not the first time he's tried to call since you've been here, is it?"

Anessa leaned her cheek against her fist that was anchored to the table by her elbow. She allowed her eyes to rise up, acknowledging that she was listening to him. She placed just a nibble of her breakfast into her mouth and moved it around until she could swallow it. All the while Zac stood, waiting for her to answer him.

"I don't want to talk to him, not yet," Ani finally admitted.

Zac took a deep breath, stretched and sat down. He tapped his fork against his plate and took in a few more breaths before he looked across the table. "Anessa? Whatever happened between you two…this disagreement…you need to talk to him about it. I know…that he loves you," Zac looked back down at his plate, "and that you love him," he practically whispered. "Because of that you can't just ignore him."

Anessa said nothing. She stared at her own plate and fidgeted with her utensils.

"He wouldn't try to call if he didn't care," Zac followed and then scooped up a large bite of food and slid it into his mouth to curb any other comments.

She finally dropped her fork onto the table and leaned back in her chair, staring across the table at his hands. Zac noticed her movement and also leaned back. His eyes softened as he watched her battle for the words she wanted to say.

After a few minutes of what appeared to be complete torture coursing through Anessa's body, she wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her face turned pale as she held a breath and allowed tears to form in her eyes.

Looking across at the man who was her first love, she suddenly wanted to rewind the calendar nearly two years and find a solution that would've kept them together. In fact, she wanted to back up four or five years and savor every moment she had ever had with Zac. Because she knew, as soon as she said her next words to him, her life would change yet again.

Telling him why she was there would only serve to make the situation real. As though the thoughts weren't already real enough, seeing Zac's heart break all over again would make this baby - Acer's baby - a reality.

Zac couldn't help himself. His own tears formed watching a few that fell from Anessa's eyes. He sat across the table from her wanting to climb over the furniture and wrap her in his arms. But he couldn't. She needed this moment to tell him the truth. No more skirting the issue.

"Tell me, please," he kept his hands in front of him on the table. "Whatever it is, Ani, tell me."

She shook as she let the breath escape through her nose and tightened her hold around herself.

"I – I'm…pregnant, Zac." Her body shook harder as she began to cry openly. She tried to watch for his reaction but then had to close her eyes to ward off the dizzy, nauseous feeling that seeped through her.

Zac heard her. Then his body went numb. His eyes darted over her and landed on her hands, holding protectively over her stomach, her womb. He wanted to react to the news but he was practically paralyzed by the thought.

He stared intently at her abdomen. He imagined the thousands of times that he had touched her there, run his palm over her belly button or tickled her. He thought about the piercing that had teased him mercilessly when they began dating. Then he thought of something that hadn't crossed his mind in a couple of years…the thought of that beautiful young woman carrying a baby…his baby.

Zac shook his head, trying to get the picture to leave his mind. That thought, his dream, had made him smile years ago. But now he couldn't smile. His dream suddenly turned to a nightmare in which he wasn't one of the main characters. With a look of fear and shock on his face he stood from the table and walked to the back door. He stepped out onto the deck and stared into the sky.

Anessa opened her eyes when he moved and watched him go out the door. She wasn't at all surprised to see him raise his fist and bring it down hard against the railing. Anessa could feel his pain from her seat. What hurt even more was knowing that she was causing his pain, anger and frustration.

"Damn It!" she could hear his strained voice even with the door closed.

He shook the pain from his hand and then tucked his hands under his armpits, hugging himself and trying to release some of the tension that was building. Anessa cried more just watching him. Whether Zac knew it or not, she understood his reaction. In all the confusion of the past few days one thing was finally clear in her mind.

The baby she was carrying should have been Zac's.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

More minutes passed as Zac paced on the deck, never once looking into the kitchen at the dark-haired woman who had pulled her knees up to her chest and continued crying. Zac swiped at his eyes, determination mixed with heartache and broken dreams.

He blamed himself. If he had fought harder for them to stay together she wouldn't be in this situation. She wouldn't have had a chance to get to know Acer Roberts or give in to his willing arms and body.

Zac hit the wooden border again with another audible expletive. Then he put both hands on the top beam and gripped it until his knuckles turned white. There was nothing he could do to turn back time; nothing he could do to reverse the words Anessa had said to him; nothing to bring their spinning worlds back into the same orbit.

He stood, clinging to the barrier, wondering what he could do and what she wanted him to do. Was it really that hard to tell him that she and Acer were going to be parents? A different view of the situation appeared in blurry questions in his mind.

_Is that what's been so hard for her to tell me? What about this disagreement that they had? She doesn't seem happy about the baby. A baby wasn't in her plans…at least not in the plans that she and I had discussed. Why did it take her three days to tell me? Why did I have to force her to tell me? What does she want from me?_

The questions rolled and pounded through his head. He couldn't answer any of them himself and yet he couldn't bring himself to walk back through the door and ask Anessa. There had to be more to the story than her coming to his house and stalling for days before telling him the truth.

As his mental discussion numbed his brain he heard Anessa's phone sound again from inside the house. He finally looked back toward her and wanted to scream at her to answer the device. The ringtone was different. He let his ears focus on the noise. The sound was one he recognized this time.

Jeana. Anessa's mom was trying to reach her and yet she still sat in the kitchen chair practically woven into a ball, her heels tucked against her hips and arms wrapped around her knees. Zac thought her eyes were closed but she had her face pressed so close to her kneecaps that he couldn't tell. She was still crying. That much he could tell from her body which shook every few seconds.

The phone stopped ringing but Anessa didn't even look up. In the next few seconds it began once more. The same tone filled the room but Anessa didn't move.

After a deep breath, Zac stepped toward the door. No matter what either of them were feeling at that moment, if Jeana was trying to reach Anessa, she deserved to at least know that her daughter was alright.

Before Anessa could make any attempt to stop him Zac moved beyond the door and picked up her phone.

"Hello," his voice was monotone but even with just one word he knew Anessa's mom would recognize him.

"_Zac? Is that you?"_ Jeana's concerned voice peaked with a hint of surprise.

"Yes, Ma'am," he clipped his answer with a look toward Anessa who stayed still and gave him no indication of what to say.

"_Why? Zac, are you with Ani?"_ Jeana wasn't sure what to make of the thought.

"Yes," Zac again gave a short answer, fueling Jeana's worry.

There was a moment before Jeana spoke again. _"Is she ok, Zac?"_ her voice sounded fearful, nearly pleading to the young man.

Zac turned his back on Anessa. She knew who he was speaking with. She knew, likely, what the discussion was about. From her seat at the table she could only think that it really didn't matter now. He could tell Jeana whatever he wanted to say. Angry, hurt, careless words could tumble from his mouth and they wouldn't surprise her.

"I'm not sure…" Zac was saying to her mother.

He looked down toward the floor and rubbed his toe over a spot on the tile. He held the phone to his ear with one hand and kept the other wrapped around his midsection as though he were trying to close off his feelings.

"_She told me she was going to get away for a while. But she didn't say she was going with anyone. I didn't know… I was just worried about her. I'm sorry…if I…interrupted something…" _Jeana's voice dropped low, picking and choosing her words very carefully.

"You didn't," Zac jumped in quickly to her last thought. "We're…just having breakfast." He looked back at Anessa who, for the first time, acknowledged that he had taken the call that was meant for her.

He gently pointed a finger at Ani and then back at the phone. She understood. Did she want to talk to her mom? Yes…and no. She shook her head lightly and began trying to breathe normally, the tears finally settling.

"Can Ani give you a call a little later, Jeana?" He swallowed with little more that he could say to Anessa's mom at the moment. Her concern for her daughter was noted and told him something deep in his heart; something that had been conveyed to him early into his relationship with Anessa Anne Hart: _Take care of those you love. No matter where they are or what they are doing or who they are with, let them know you care._

He could hear Jeana breathing, thinking on the other end. _"Just tell me she's okay, Zac, and I'll wait for her call. Tell her I love her, okay?"_

Zac looked at the tear-swollen face across the room from him. His heartbeat pounded in his chest with the known and unknown that was filling all of their minds. The thought that had run through his mind seconds before gave him only one thing that he could honestly tell Anessa's mom.

"She's okay, Jeana. She's with me and I love her. I'll take care of her, I promise."

He made sure Anessa heard his soft words even as he spoke into the phone. Then he quietly ended the call and put the electronic down on the desk.

He crossed his arms across his chest again but tried to relax. He sensed her tension, her fear, and he began to understand her need to be in a place where she could simply think about her situation, her future.

Zac came back to the table, picked up his plate and nibbled just another bite as he took it toward the sink. Anessa watched him for a moment and then looked out the window.

"I should probably go," she announced quietly, slowly, as Zac was clearing his plate.

He turned to look at her and pressed his lips together. He watched her gaze, looking away from him, while she lowered her unsteady legs back to the floor. Before she could stand he left the plate in the sink and went back to her.

Zac stood in front of her and moved his body to block her view. He tilted his head and waited until she finally looked up at him. "You can't do that," he shook his head slightly.

She looked at him with her eyelids blinking heavily over her sad brown eyes. She returned his head shake with one of her own, trying to understand.

"I just promised your mom I'd take care of you. I made that promise years ago, Anessa. I'm still sticking to it. I do love you. And no matter where you are, or who you're with, or what you're doing, that's not going to change. I'm still going to love you and I still care." Zac held his hands out toward her and let her take them and use his strength to stand up in front of him.

"But didn't you hear what I said? I know you heard it. I know it hurt you. I'm pregnant, Zac…with Acer's baby." Anessa gripped his fingers tightly as she said the words again.

Zac closed his eyes and worked to breathe at a normal level. He nodded his head. "I heard you." He opened his eyes slowly and looked into hers. His sad face spoke a million words with that one look.

"That's a bombshell, Ani," he whispered.

"I know," she matched his facial expression.

"But it doesn't mean that I don't still love you, or that I've stopped caring about you – because I haven't."

They stood for long moments, holding hands lightly with one of them squeezing the other's fingers from time to time. They looked at each other, toward the floor, out the door, at the walls and yet Anessa gave Zac time to think; time to digest the news in a less shocked manner.

Anessa watched his face knowing different thoughts were beginning to move through his mind. She could only guess what he was thinking, what he wanted to say. After a while she leaned her head to the side and caught his attention.

"You have questions," she pointed out the obvious. "Ask me, please." She squeezed his hands and then let one of them drop. With the other she led him away from the table and into the living room.

She sat on the overstuffed sofa and let go of his other hand. Zac instinctively crossed his arms but Anessa noted that this pose wasn't his angry or frustrated stance. This time he was a little boy, confused, unable to make sense of the situation that had been thrown at him.

"I - I don't know where to begin," he admitted. He walked away from her just a few steps and stood in the middle of the room. He waited another minute before turning to look at her.

"Why are you _here_?" He began. His inflection landed on the last word of his question. It was the most simple of the inquiries going through his brain. The other parts would come later. But first he wanted to know why she had chosen to come to him, to share this news with Zac, at his own home.

Anessa cleared her throat, the answer to this question was relatively easy. "You've answered that one yourself," she began. "You love me. You'll take care of me. No matter what the situation; no matter how confused I am. I know you'll somehow help me make sense of things and figure out what to do because you care…you really care."

Zac nodded as he listened to her. Still, her choice didn't make complete sense to him. "But why not with Acer? He was outta town, yeah, but," Zac shook his head with his eyes and creased brow reflecting the confusion, "he's your…he's the…" Zac struggled, "He's your baby's father," he looked at the hardwood floor and blinked a few times, twisting his lips to try and bypass the aching in his heart.

Anessa leaned back into the corner of the couch and shivered slightly. She bit nervously on her bottom lip. "He…" she hesitated as Zac looked at her and their eyes met. She shook her head as she continued, "He doesn't know."

Zac's eyes widened as he listened. Anessa linked her fingers and began rubbing her hands together. "This," Anessa had thought about this explanation for the past two days, "the baby, I mean, it's unexpected."

She looked down toward her belly as Zac nodded slightly. "I gathered," he spoke gently.

"So," he approached her slowly, letting his eyes fall to the same area where hers were focused, "Why not?"

"What?" She looked up with her eyes and caught his stare on her abdomen before his eyes could adjust to meet hers.

"Why doesn't he know? When are you going to tell him? Why are you telling me…before him?" His eyebrows knitted together again as questions began to spill over his lips.

Anessa lifted one hand and ran it across her forehead, trying to think of the answers that were truthful. It dawned on her then that these were some of the questions she was asking herself, and some of the answers weren't even clear to her at this point.

Her eyes blinked as she thought harder about his questions. "Why doesn't he know?" She repeated Zac, "I'm not sure that I _want_ to tell him, not yet at least. I'm still trying to let this sink in, myself. I wouldn't have taken the test if Mom hadn't forced my hand." She stopped for a second to let both of them think about her words. "Pregnancy was so far from my mind… when Mom suggested it I'm sure I rolled my eyes at her."

Zac took a seat at the other end of the couch, thinking about what she was saying. "How far along?" Zac tried to sound supportive. "If you're not telling Acer – you're not considering…" his face shifted to make sure they had eye contact. "Anessa you aren't thinking about aborting…" his throat became dry and his breath quickened as the idea went through his mind.

She quickly reacted with a shake of her head but dropped her eyes to her thighs. "The thought crossed my mind, but I can't. What my mom said is true. If God wants me to have a baby right now, then I'm going to have a baby. If that's His plan then I have no choice but to follow it through."

"Okay," Zac breathed out a quiet sigh of relief. "So, Ani, I'm still lost, though." He pressed his lips together and turned his head back and forth slowly.

"Are you scared to tell Acer? Did he hurt you? Did he…force you?" His voice became softer as he watched for any indications from Anessa.

Ani looked upwards, as though she was asking God to give her the words to explain the situation. There was no comfortable, straightforward answer to his question, other than the fact that Acer had _not_ forced her to do anything. She was a consenting party. But within the past two weeks she was having serious doubts about whether or not she wanted to continue _consenting_ with the man who had fathered her child.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Zac scooted closer to her and put one hand on her knee. "Ani, I'm sorry. I don't want to push you. I don't want to force you to answer anything. You don't have to answer me. I'm just confused – and I'm worried about you…you and your baby," he shared.

Anessa looked back into his face and smiled softly. She reached up and placed her palm against his cheek. "That's why I'm here. That's why I came to you. That's why I love you and I trust you."

Zac leaned his head into her hand and closed his eyes. "I'm trying to be understanding, Ani. I can't even imagine what you've been going through. But can I tell you something, honestly?"

Anessa nodded when he opened his eyes again to see her.

"I wish…I want to celebrate you being pregnant. It's amazing and you're amazing. But I wish," he took a breath through his mouth and let his eyes connect to hers, "that this was my baby."

He laid his heart on the line and waited for her reaction. Everything she had said was true. He loved her, he trusted her, he cared for her and she returned those feelings. If that was true then this baby should've been theirs together. Zac tried to remember what had been so important that they had to let go of each other. For the life of him, in that very moment, he couldn't remember their reasoning.

Anessa stood from the couch and walked toward the picture window that created the front of his home. She didn't want to distance herself from Zac at all but she needed to, to try and put her thoughts in order.

Standing and looking out the window, she could feel Zac's eyes moving up and down her body. A thousand thoughts paraded through, all jumbled together in a confusing mass of chaos. She laughed through her nose as a ludicrous idea came into the clearing.

"What?" Zac wondered from the couch, a now-protective eye attached to her.

"I haven't told Acer about the baby yet. Maybe you could take me into the bedroom and make love to me and then we could say this _is_ your baby." She continued watching the trees blow outside the windowpanes.

"Anessa," Zac scolded.

"I know," she returned frustrated slightly that he wasn't jumping at this opportunity. "The more that I realize that this is real – that I'm actually pregnant…" she touched her fingertips to her baby's home, "I'm questioning every decision that I've made for the past two years."

She looked over her shoulder at Zac sitting on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his shoulders slumped and his head tilted upward, eyes glued to her.

"You're right," she moved her hands to each of her biceps and rubbed them up and down her arms as though she was cold in the warm house. "This should be your baby, Zac. But even more than that, we shouldn't have split up. If we hadn't … if we were still together I wouldn't be pregnant now. _You_ would've made sure of that because you took care of me a hundred percent of the time." She shook her head and Zac noticed the slight look of disgust that marred her beautiful face.

Her words ran on instant repeat between his ears. With a deep breath Zac sat up straighter and stretched his back. He pushed the breath out between his lips and patted his hands on his thighs beckoning her attention.

"So you and Acer had a disagreement. You're pregnant and he doesn't know it. And, you're not sure if you want to tell him," Zac listed the facts that he felt he was sure about.

Anessa nodded slowly, choosing not to add that she really did want Zac to take her in his arms and love her again.

"I'm not sure I _want_ you to fill in the blanks, Anessa, but I _need_ you to tell me what's going on. Start at the beginning, please, and no sugar coating. No matter how much it hurts you or me, I need to know. If we're going to figure this out – together – I need to know."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	9. The Next Step

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 8 – The Next Step**

The call would be hard to make. After neglecting so many of the incoming ones, with barely any response at all, Zac had finally talked Anessa into meeting with Acer and talking to him. _Neutral ground,_ Zac had said. And he was leaving it up to Anessa, whether or not to actually tell Ace about the baby at this meeting.

Anessa's current _significant other_ knew something was wrong; something had happened between the time he had left town for his work responsibilities and the time he returned. Acer deserved to know about the baby but Zac wasn't going to force Anessa to tell him – not yet at least. But she had to see him. She had to assure him that she was alright. Without seeing her, Acer wouldn't believe any fib that she was trying to tell him. _Busy with work; staying with a sick girlfriend; doing some things for mom…_ all the while she stayed secluded at Zac's home.

Zac heard every message that Ace had left. He was actually starting to feel sorry for the guy and growing just a bit frustrated with Anessa. It was after Acer's last voicemail that Zac decided enough was enough.

"_Ani, I'm done begging. Maybe that's what you want. You want me to stop calling and just leave you alone. Thing is, I can't do that. I've talked to Jeana and Greg and Ella and Ashley. I've called everyone I can think of, short of Zac. But he's my next step. I'm going to call him and see if he knows where you are. You've told me a hundred times that he still loves you. So do I. But if something has completely wacked out in your life, maybe you turned back to him instead of me. That's what I'm gonna do, Anessa. I'm gonna call Zac and see if he knows where you are. Because I'm going to find you. You have to know that I love you and you're scaring me to death, Ani. I don't know what's going on. I don't know where you are and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Just talk to me, please. More than a phone conversation, talk to me, face to face and tell me what's going on. I love you."_

Even Zac could hear the emotions in his voice. The younger man was truly concerned for Ani and completely determined to find her, even if it meant calling her ex-boyfriend and asking for Zac's help.

Zac had stood still after she played the message for him from her phone. She looked for an answer in Zac's eyes but wasn't expecting what he offered. "Anessa, you have to meet with him. I know I said I won't push you, but you have to do this. If Acer calls me, I'm not going to lie to him. If he asks if you're here I won't lie, he needs to know," Zac began with a firm but gentle tone.

"You can't tell him about the baby!" Ani shot back, allowing a hint of anger in her voice.

"No, you're right, I can't. But he deserves to know that you're with someone who is taking care of you and that you're alright. I don't think it's fair to him to _not_ tell him where you are. I mean, if it were me, in his shoes, I'd be searching 24/7 until I found you. And that may be exactly what he's doing." Zac stood beside her on the deck, holding out a glass of tea before sitting down beside her and watching her crawl back into her little-girl shell.

She sighed and took the glass from him. Anessa sipped the sweet drink slowly and watched him get comfortable in the canvas chair beside her. "What if I meet with him and come away thinking that I need to try again with him – give our relationship another shot?"

Zac shielded his eyes against the sun that peered in under the table's umbrella. "As far as Acer's concerned, you two are still together right now. You haven't officially broken up with him, have you? Have I missed something over the past four days since he's been home?"

Anessa sighed again and scrunched her shoulders up and down.

"Ani, you can't assume that he thinks you've broken up just because you're not answering his calls. Come on now. You're a smart woman," he pressed a finger to her shoulder but avoided smiling when she looked at him. "Acer is in love with you, and you're in love with him," Zac continued with a serious expression. "Your baby is a result of you loving each other, Ani. Whether the timing is what you want or not – either of you – there's a little baby growing inside of you and Acer is that baby's dad. Don't be selfish. Give him an opportunity to at least know. Don't keep that from him."

Ani closed her eyes and turned her head away from Zac. _Selfish? _Is that what she was being? Zac was sounding more like a big brother, or even like her mother, not the ex-lover who wanted her back for himself. For a few moments she marveled at that bit of reality. He was thinking more about her and Acer and their baby than he was thinking of his own happiness. Her eyes were wet with tears that wouldn't fall.

Even if she couldn't meet with Acer for their baby's sake, she would talk to him, face to face, for Zac.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

"Jeana? It's Zac. Do you have a minute?" He sat on the couch with the phone in one hand and a glass of Coke in the other. He swished the drink around a couple of times and then slurped the foam off the top of it as he waited for Mrs. Hart to answer him.

"_Of course,"_ Jeana wiped her hands on a dish towel and took the phone to the kitchen table to sit down. _"What's going on, Zac? Anessa's still with you, right? Is she… alright?"_

Zac hadn't spoken to Anessa's mom other than the morning that he had answered his guest's phone. The two would always be more than cordial to each other because of their love for Anessa. And, Jeana was absolutely sure, that Zac would care for her daughter with the utmost responsibility. He knew that Anessa had spoken to her mother again since that time but he wasn't sure exactly what she had told Jeana.

"Jeana, it's okay…she's okay. I know about the baby," Zac stopped to direct his thoughts.

"_I know. Anessa told me yesterday when we talked, that she had told you. And she told me that you were being a perfect gentleman, and taking care of her," _Jeana explained. _"But I'm not overjoyed that she's there with you, Zac. It's almost as though she's in denial about being pregnant. She needs to tell Acer Roberts that he's a father. If she doesn't think he can handle the pressure…" _her voice lolled and Zac could imagine the disappointment on Mrs. Hart's face. _"Well, perhaps the two of them should've thought about that before getting this close."_

Zac's chin dropped. This wasn't the exact time that he wanted to have a heart-to-heart talk with this woman – even if the two of them apparently shared the same views on this topic. He sighed, letting her know that he was listening.

"I know what you're saying. And, this is something that Anessa and I have been talking about. Acer's been calling, at least once a day…"

"_He knows she's with you?" _Jeana interrupted with surprise.

"No…no, not yet," Zac picked up. "He's been calling her cell and she's been avoiding his calls. They've talked twice on the phone but Anessa's not giving anything away. He's asking to see her and talk to her and she's avoiding any contact at all. But I think I've finally made her realize that she needs to see him face to face." Jeana noted the poutiness of Zac's voice with his last line.

"_How did you do that?" _Jeana wondered.

"Acer told her that he had reached the end of his rope, basically. He said if she wouldn't tell him where she was, then he was going to call me and enlist my help. I told her if he called me then I wouldn't lie for her. If he asked where she was, I'd tell him. And if he asked if she was with me then I'd give him a truthful answer." Zac held his chin out as he thought of the 'right' thing to do.

"_And what was her reaction?"_ Jeana asked almost casually.

"A bit defeated, I guess? I think you're right, Jeana. She's still in denial about being pregnant. If she doesn't tell Acer, then it's not real. She's still living back in the world where _he_ went against her wishes and that's the only issue she's trying to deal with. When we talk about the reality of it she cries because she finally thinks about what's actually going on. But of all the things I think she needs right now…I guess…she needs to talk to Acer. Whether she tells him about the baby or not, she needs to see him in person and understand that he's hurting, too, because she's shutting him out."

"_Is she going to take your advice? I've been telling her to talk to Acer since before she came to your house. That was nearly a week ago, Zac. If she doesn't get on track here soon then one of us will have to really step in and bring her to her senses." _Jeana's voice sounded more authoritative, ready to direct her daughter's course of action, if Anessa wasn't willing to take it herself.

"She agreed to meet with him. She's going to call him tonight and arrange it. I want them to meet on common ground. I don't want them to meet at Ani's house, and definitely not here. Acer has a right to be in a comfortable place. I suggested Ash's house but she doesn't know about the baby yet. I suggested Paty's, or a park somewhere, maybe a picnic," Zac sighed.

"_You've suggested… Are you… Will you go with her?"_ Jeana was wondering at all the thoughts Zac was sharing. For a man who would take her daughter back in a heartbeat, and love her for the rest of their lives, he was being awfully accommodating of Anessa's situation and current beau.

"No," he answered plainly. "I think it would be better if you were with her. That's really why I'm calling. I don't want her to go alone but I can't be with her. I can't stand by her side knowing that he got her pregnant…I…" For the first time since the entire situation had been laid out in front of him, Zac felt the emotional pull of what was happening inside of him.

Anessa was pregnant. The baby wasn't his. The dreams he had had for years – ones where he would see the two of them cuddling a baby, or walking hand in hand with a toddler – would have to fade now. The hopes that included the two of them finding their way back to each other without any barriers were closing in on him so tightly that he could feel them squeezing his heart.

Life - wasn't - fair. He knew that. Zac had realized that nearly two years ago when the two of them decided to separate for a while. _Let's see where life takes us. Let's see other people for a little while. Let's give ourselves a little time to experience things on our own._ It sounded so harmless. What could happen in just a few years?

"_Zac?"_ Jeana's voice called out to him from across the line. _"Honey, are you okay?"_

He cleared his throat and brought himself back into the moment. "What? Am I… am I okay? Oh, yeah," he stumbled. His voice was softer when he remembered what they were discussing. "Can you go with her Jeana? You can come by here and pick her up and then you guys can meet Acer wherever they decide. Would that be alright?"

Jeana felt his hurting heart and wanted to reach out to him. The situation was almost as confusing to Jeana as it was to Zac – how did they reach this point? How did the team of Zac and Anessa wind up in a tearful, aching place, with Anessa pregnant by another man? It was a question that Jeana had asked herself over and over and over again since Anessa had run back to Zac's arms.

Her only consolation was that Zac had a good head on his shoulders and cared about Ani with every fiber in his body. He was trying to do the right thing – not just for Anessa and Acer, but for the baby that was now involved. Even if his heart broke he was trying to make the right choices.

"_Of course I'll go with her. If it will help straighten things out…I'll go if she wants me to,"_ Jeana offered. She heard Zac breathing on the other side of the connection. _"Zac?"_

"Yeah?" He closed his eyes and leaned his head back before crossing his free arm over his stomach.

"_I'm sorry you've been put in the middle of this. I know Anessa's hurting and confused. But I don't know what this is doing to you. You're a good friend, Zachary Alexander. Greg and I, we know that. Anessa knows that. And I think she's realizing that maybe she shouldn't have broken up…well, that the two of you shouldn't have. But none of us can live her life for her. I just appreciate you being there for her. We all still love you." _Jeana sighed through the phone, hoping her words meant something to this young man.

"And I still love you all, too," Zac responded quietly.

"_Let me know when and where they decide to meet, okay? My calendar's wide open. Whatever I can do to help, I'm here. Let her know that, please? Just have her call me," _Jeana instructed.

Zac nodded slowly and pulled the phone away from his ear with a simple, 'Goodbye' to Anessa's mother. He looked at the sleeping woman on the couch in his living room. _"He deserves to know Ani. I would want to know. If you don't love him, if you don't love me, whatever, it's fine. But Acer deserves to know. You've just gotta face reality and tell him. Decide what you want to do, but tell him."_

Zac turned back toward the table in his dining room and sat down. He stared out the back door with no hope of making sense of the thoughts going through his head. He glanced back over his shoulder and then rubbed his fingers against his temples. There were so many options, so much responsibility, so many questions – but what role was he really supposed to play in finding the answers or making decisions?

He tilted his neck backwards and let his eyes fall to a random spot on the ceiling. He focused on the spot as though he could see right through it. He shook his head and then opened his mouth to speak. Though his voice didn't break through, his lips moved with the words.

"_God? I'm clueless here. I don't know where else to turn. I hope You really are up there listening to me, because I need help. What am I supposed to do with the woman I love? She's carrying another man's baby. She's confused and angry and looking to me for help. But what am I supposed to do? I can't even speak to Acer. I can't look him in the eyes. I'm so angry at him…"_ He sat quietly for a moment and then closed his eyes.

"_You're right. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that she left me and went to him. I'm jealous that he's had this time with her. And I'm jealous that she's carrying his baby."_

He continued mouthing the words of his prayer, his confession to God. Zac finally let tears seep down his cheeks. He laid his arms on the table and then put his face on top of his wrists. His voice whimpered through the silent air with his prayer. _"Anessa and I should be married. That should be MY baby. Acer Roberts should've never had any opportunity for this to happen. I screwed up. How am I supposed to help her when all I know for sure is that I've screwed up by letting her go? God, if You're really up there and really willing to listen to me, help, please?"_

Zac's shoulders shook only slightly but it was enough to let Anessa see the hurt that he was feeling. She took a deep breath and stepped toward his chair. After another moment of watching him cry she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder blade.

"I need to call Ace," she spoke in a low voice, a tone that told Zac she was beginning to feel the truth of the matter.

He raised his head and kept his back to her, thinking he was hiding his tears. Anessa kept her hand on his back, drawing strength from him to try and make some decisions for herself.

"Will you sit with me while I call him?" She asked and Zac nodded. Before she turned away from him she kneeled down beside his chair and squeezed his bicep. He looked into her tired, beautiful eyes but sat silent.

Anessa placed her other hand on his knee and stared into his aching, blue eyes. "You've always been able to help me make sense of situations. For years now I've known I could turn to you and ask for your help and even if you didn't have the answers you'd help me find them. There's just been one time, one decision that you helped me make – no – one decision that I didn't listen to. I looked at the circumstances, not the possibilities and I … I regret that choice. Please know that."

She started to stand but Zac reached over to her face and held her cheek in his hand. "If that's true, Anessa, then you need to stop and make things right. If you made a wrong decision then you need to figure out what you can do to change the situation. You can't keep making more wrong decisions, thinking that you'll just learn to live with things. If you do that, more people are going to get hurt along the way and your heart's gonna be so hard that you're going to forget what it's like to make the right choice...and what it's like to really love."

Anessa listened to his words. She swallowed her regret and stood up beside him. When Zac looked into her face there was concern and questions marring every inch.

"How am I supposed to do that now, Zac? I can hardly go back _now_ and tell you that we'll find a way to make things work between _us_. I can't pretend I'm not pregnant!" She let a sarcastic laugh escape through her nose. "I told you I wanted to come here and sleep with you so we could pretend this was _our_ baby…but you won't let me do that, will you? So how, please tell me, am I supposed to turn things around now?!"

Zac breathed in deeply. Her voice begged for answers. Her face pleaded with him to tell her anything and she'd follow his instructions – if they would make the situation different.

"You need to meet with Acer and talk to him. There's a reason you fell in love with him. If you can reconnect with that…"

"The reason I fell in love with _him_ was because I was trying to convince myself that I was falling _out_ of love with you! I'm not _in love_ with Acer. _I love you._ I was wrong, okay?" Her tears trailed over her cheekbones and dripped onto the shoulder of Zac's shirt. "I love _you_. I was so sure of myself. I was so sure that we were going to go in different directions with our lives… I convinced myself that being without you was what I'd have to live with – and that I could find someone else who would love me and take care of me." She cried but refused to back away from Zac. Her hand stayed in contact with him, his arm, his shoulder.

"And you found Acer," Zac said simply. "The thing is, Anessa, he's in love with you – and he's the baby's father."

"But I DON'T – Love - Him!" she practically yelled at Zac's view of the chaos. "Are you going to send me back to a man I don't love? Isn't that what you were just talking about – making things right? I can't go back to him and pretend I love him when I want you. Do you _not_ love me?"

Zac closed his eyes, trying to find the strength and words that could only come from the prayer he had uttered moments ago. With her hand still on his shoulder Zac turned in his chair and put his arms around her waist. He pressed his face against her stomach and pulled her body closer to him.

"How can you even ask that?" He whispered with a strained voice. "Anessa Anne Hart, you _know_ I love you. I don't want to push you back to Acer but, Sweetheart, he's gotta know how you feel – how you really feel...about him. And he deserves to know about this baby, his baby."

Zac raised his eyes and sent a sad smile in her direction. "If we are gonna have any hope of getting through this…Acer has to know the truth." He pulled her gently into his lap where she kissed his forehead, wiped away some of his unshed tears and wrapped her arms around his neck.

They sat there for a few moments simply holding each other and trying to develop the next steps that had to happen. Zac loosened his hold but kept his hands on her waist firmly as though he was refusing to let go of her.

"When we first talked about your pregnancy, about the disagreement with Acer…" he began slowly, "You were upset because he had lied to you. Let's come clean here Anessa, both of us. We're both lying too, aren't we?"

He pulled away from her so they could see each other and read their expressions. Anessa tilted her head, waiting for more of his explanation. "We may have drifted apart, over a year ago, the distance was hard to handle and there were other people in our lives…but if we had been honest…if we had just dealt with the pain and really been honest with each other…I still love you and you still love me. How could we lie to each other about that? Huh? And you've lied to Acer. If you don't love him, then your relationship with him is a lie, isn't it?"

He paused but then added quickly, "And mine with Lyza. She says she knows and understands, but I've been leading her on. That's a lie too. The times that I've kissed her and thought about doing more."

Zac looked upwards toward Anessa's shameful eyes. "Ani, it's been both of us. We're lying to ourselves and lying to each other. Look how much we've hurt ourselves and each other, and other people. If we're going to work this out we have to stop the lies, right now. Agreed?"

Anessa pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a sense of hope beginning to form and yet the nervousness of her heart still winning the battle. She finally nodded her head and spoke a breathless word, "Agreed."

They sat together in the kitchen chair for several minutes, just holding each other and taking in the moments together. Anessa took the initiative next, leaning her forehead against his and taking in a shallow breath. "You said '_we'," _she said.

Zac noticed her voice most of all. It was the little girl who wanted something and yet was afraid to ask for it. He'd heard the sound so many times that it usually made him laugh. She was being timid, yet serious in her thoughts and was carefully trying to phrase what she wanted to say to him.

"Yes," he nodded, barely moving his head against hers.

"_We?_" She asked, still hesitant.

"We," Zac pressed his face closer and kissed her with more than just a friendly intent, for the first time since she had arrived at his home.

Anessa held the back of his head, willing him to keep his lips in place for just a few moments longer. When the kiss ended they both smiled softly. Zac detached their foreheads and pulled in a breath.

"I love you, Anessa, and _we_ will work together to figure this out. But _we_ have a lot to work on. It starts with talking to Acer," Zac looked at her seriously, "and I can't be there. I can't be there by your side when the two of you are together."

Anessa tensed as he spoke. She had begun to envision her and Zac talking to the young actor side by side. "Why not, Zac? If you love me…if _we_ are going to work on this together, then I don't understand."

Zac eased her from his lap and stood up. He stretched for a moment before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water from the refrigerator. "I talked to your mom while you were napping." He let out a breath and took a long drink of the water. "Jeana can come pick you up and go with you to meet Acer. You don't have to go alone. She'll go with you."

"You didn't answer my question, Zac. And this goes right back to the truth thing…you realize that," she pointed out as he turned his back on her.

He set his glass down on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest before he faced her. He shrugged one shoulder at her, trying to tell her it wasn't really a big deal, his reason for not wanting to see Acer Roberts.

"Tell me," Anessa pressed.

Zac sighed in slight defeat, knowing she was right and he needed to confess to her, just as he had to God above. "I'm jealous, Ani, ok? I'm jealous of Acer. He's had this last year with you. A year I should've had with you. A year I've lost from you. A year we'll never get back because he stepped up and swooped in and I should've been there."

"But Zac, you had me for five years before that. We've had so many experiences together and we'll have so many more. You have my heart. Isn't that what matters most? He's had one year with me…more or less. One year. That won't compare to what _we_ have had and what _we _are going to have, together."

Zac looked toward the floor sheepishly, not wanting to admit the other part but knowing how obvious it must be. "But with the baby, Ani…" he stalled.

Anessa sucked in a breath, "Go on," she instructed.

Zac risked peeking up at her confused, irritated face. He breathed out, "I kept telling myself that you and Acer were just friends, the kisses on the beach and holding hands didn't mean anything. But with the baby…" he pushed out a laugh, "I feel stupid. I know what's required there," he rolled his eyes at himself. "Not to mention, you told me how it happened."

He raised his head, looked at Ani and swallowed the knot of emotions that he was admitting. "I can't sit beside you knowing that he has been _with_ you and that he's taken advantage of you…"

Anessa stepped toward Zac and chanced putting her palm against his cheek. "And?"

Zac closed his eyes, "And he's taken away _my_ chance to share this with you." Anessa began to debate his point but stopped after watching his face. He blinked his eyes open and noted her confusion. "I wanted to be the one, someday, to give you your first baby. I wanted to be able to make love to you and just _know_ that what we shared had created a little life. I wanted to wait with you to see the results on the pregnancy test and rub your back to help you get through the morning sickness. Now I can't. We've shared so many firsts together, Ani, but this isn't one of them." He leaned his head into her hand.

"You're not even happy about this pregnancy," Zac shook his head and pulled her hand away from his cheek. "You being pregnant... Ani, we should be celebrating. We should be blushing and telling your parents together. I should be cringing when Greg gives me that evil eye of his because he knows what has to happen…"

Anessa tilted her head and smiled at him and let out a soft giggle. "You've thought about this a lot."

Zac nodded. "Too much, I know. But I've had four days now to let this eat at me. I can't go with you to talk to Acer because he's taken this away from me. I'm jealous and hurt and angry and I'm afraid of what I would say or do to him. And I know that's not what you want. I know you're still trying to figure things out. The last thing you need is me making things worse."

Anessa sighed. She swallowed the hint of nerves that currently lived in her throat and looked down at her abdomen. She shyly reached for Zac's hand and placed it against her belly before looking up into the gentle blue pools of his gaze.

"I'm gonna be a mommy," her brown irises expanded at the thought.

Zac pressed his hand against the cloth of her top and rubbed gently. "Yes, you are. And you're going to be a wonderful mother to a beautiful baby."

She wet her lips with her tongue and stared at Zac. "I have to talk to Ace. Before I can…before _we -_ can move onto anything else I have to talk to him."

"Yes," Zac nodded his approval.

"Sit with me while I call him?" She requested once more.

Again Zac nodded. He picked up her phone from the desk as they moved to the living room. Anessa pushed back the afghan on the couch where she had napped earlier.

The two of them sat down side by side. Anessa reached over with her left hand and grasped Zac's fingers. They wove together before Zac clasped his other hand around hers as well, sending her all of the support he could possibly offer.

After accepting another soft kiss on her forehead Anessa raised the phone in her right hand and hit the familiar speed dial.

"Acer, it's me. I'm okay. I'm at Zac's." She paused to look into Zac's face as she took the next step. "Ace, we need to talk."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	10. Promises for Life

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 9 – Promises for Life**

The six-foot tall young man stood at the edge of the hiking trail, near the parking lot and picnic area where he had agreed to meet his girlfriend. Acer held a small bouquet of daisies and wildflowers that he had grabbed from the florist section of the supermarket on his way to their spot.

He had a lot of thoughts going through his mind. None, though, topped the one that kept screaming at him - the fact that Anessa had called him from Zac's house. Whatever was going on had driven her back to her ex-boyfriend. That one, single fact was enough to blow the fight right out of this blond-haired, muscular twenty-something.

He loved Anessa. That much he was sure about. But in their young relationship he knew that the one person who could keep them from finding happiness was her ex, Zac Alexander.

When he saw the black Audi pull into the parking lot Acer breathed one sigh of relief. She had actually come to meet him. He noticed quickly that Anessa wasn't driving, but she was in the passenger seat. Her mother, he noted, was the one behind the wheel.

The two petite women stood from the car and spoke to each other as they rounded toward the back bumper. Anessa took a breath put her hands backwards on her waist and stretched slightly. Jeana spoke to her and waited a second before Anessa shook her head and then responded verbally.

They noticed Acer standing there, silently, as they walked toward him. Jeana offered him a motherly smile and then held back a step, letting Anessa move in front of her onto the sidewalk. Anessa's face was hard to read. It was a face that Acer had seen her put on for the paparazzi, one that simply said they couldn't shake her. But now, she was giving him the same appearance.

"Hi," he spoke as the two women got close enough to hear him. Jeana recognized his nervousness easily, like a school boy waiting to talk to the prettiest girl in the class. He scuffed his toe along the concrete as they stood next to him.

Jeana looked at both of them. She knew Anessa wanted her support, but there had been a short debate in the car about whether or not she wanted Jeana right at her side for this conversation, or if it would be a one on one kind of thing.

"Hey," Anessa finally responded. "I'm … I'm sorry I've been so short with you and not taking your calls."

Acer looked like he wanted to jump right into a whole line of questions but he hesitated with Jeana beside him. Instead he simply nodded and looked away from Anessa's eyes.

Jeana put a hand on Anessa's shoulder. "I'm going to go for a little walk, ok? I won't be far."

Anessa's eyes widened and she sucked in a short breath but quickly released it and nodded slowly at her mom. "Okay," she watched as Jeana turned toward the narrow walking path.

She looked back at Acer and then at the flowers he was holding.

"These…they're for you, of course," Acer stumbled. "I'm glad you came, Ani. I'm glad you're okay."

She nodded her head and then used it to motion toward one of the tables. "How 'bout we sit?" She suggested.

Acer agreed and held out his arm as any gentleman would; allowing her to make her way to the seat first.

"Where do we begin?" Acer asked, sitting down beside Ani while she placed the flowers behind them on the picnic table.

"I've been struggling with that, honestly." Anessa sat up a little straighter and Acer noticed the darkness in her eyes.

"Are you really feeling okay? You look tired." He lifted one hand and brushed a few strands of hair away from her temple and placed them behind her ear. "I've missed you."

"I've been trying to clear my head; trying to make sense of some of the stuff that's been on my mind," Anessa avoided his statement.

"Okay," Acer leaned his arm on the table and turned to face her on the bench. "What kind of things have been going through your mind?"

Anessa avoided looking into his face. "Me, work, house stuff…us," she chanced glancing up at his strong jawline.

Acer was watching her intently. His unsmiling expression told her that he was waiting for whatever she chose to tell him. As much as she wanted to get this conversation over with she also wanted it to be a more than civil talk. This was - her heart mentioned – a man that she had shared a bed with, along with some of her deepest feelings…a man that, in a way, she did love.

The quiet moment drew on as Anessa thought about what she needed to say and Acer waited to hear what she would tell him. He saw the struggle in her eyes but wasn't exactly sure how to help her without upsetting himself.

After more of a pregnant pause he raised his hands in a surrendering fashion. "You're back with Zac, aren't you?" His question was a nearly defeated sigh. He didn't frown completely with the statement but Anessa could feel the hurt that was calling out from his heart.

She hesitated with an answer. 'Yes' would be the easy way out. 'Yes' would allow her to keep the baby a secret from him. 'Yes', coupled with news of her pregnancy in several weeks, would likely make Acer believe that she had been unfaithful to him during what would be the end of their relationship.

"I…" she waded into the waters carefully, "I needed a place to think about things. I needed to be away from everyone and everything…"

"Including me…" Acer interrupted.

"Yes," Anessa conceded, "everyone and everything including you. I didn't want anyone to know where I was," she continued.

"Except Zac," Acer again interjected his thought.

"No one would expect me to be there – they wouldn't look for me there," she started somewhat defensively. Her voice settled as she tried to continue, "I knew that if I went to Zac's house – whether he was at home or not – he wouldn't ask questions about why I was there. If I told him I needed to think things through, then that's what he would let me do. He would listen and only offer his thoughts if I asked for them. Or, he would just let me sit and stare at the sky."

"Couldn't you have done that at a hotel in L.A. or New York, or France or Wisconsin for that matter? Why _his_ house?" Acer asked honestly.

Anessa breathed deeply. "Because, like I said, no one would expect me to be _there_. Look, Acer, nothing I can say here will make you feel better about any of this. Nothing I can say will change what you're feeling about me right now. But the truth is I didn't want to be alone, physically. I needed a place where I felt safe. I went to talk to mom, one day after you left, and I came out of her house in a complete daze. The next day I knew I needed to get to a place where somebody would… I don't know … where someone would look after me and make sure I was okay, but I could still have my time, without being bombarded…without needing to have answers right then and there. When I got in the car at my house I backed out of the garage and the next thing I knew I was pulling through the gate at the top of Zac's driveway."

Acer shook his head, a look of unbelief and hurt shrouding his usually easy-going features.

Anessa reached out to take his hand. Surprisingly he let her, but he pressed his lips together and waited for more of an explanation. As she looked down at his larger fingers and let her eyes trace the curves of his skin she realized she had to release the bombshell that she was holding inside.

She took a calming breath and mentally relaxed the tension in her shoulders. "Years ago," she looked up with a new strength in her eyes, "Zac and I took a trip to Hawaii. It was the first trip we'd ever taken alone together." She watched Acer roll his eyes upward, not really wanting to listen to her.

Anessa moved her head to keep his attention and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "The pictures of us ended up everywhere. You know all about that. But there's part of it you don't know, Ace. There was a part of that trip that changed my life." She breathed in and laughed a sad chuckle, "Well, lots of parts of it, but what I'm attempting to get at is this. The rings that Zac and I came home with from that trip, the kuuipo rings, were more than just friendship rings."

Acer sat still, letting her continue to hold his hand and stroke it nervously with her fingers and thumbs. When he didn't say anything, Anessa swallowed, thinking back to the very trip she was referencing; a trip that she and Zac should've been true to all along.

"He asked me to marry him on that trip, Ace. We were eighteen and nineteen years old but he asked me to marry him. And I said 'yes'." Anessa watched as Acer shook his head, a dull ache showing in his eyes.

She waited just another beat before letting the story continue. "The more I thought about that proposal, the more freaked out I got. When I first accepted, we were talking about getting married right there in Hawaii. Before anybody could say anything to stop us we were going to find a priest and make it happen. But the longer I thought about it, I couldn't go through with it. Zac was a little disappointed, but he understood."

Acer stared down at their joined hands. He looked out at the walking path where Jeana had disappeared around one of the curves. He was hearing Ani's voice but wasn't sure at all, why she was telling him these details of their trip to Hawaii. Whatever had happened between her and Zac, there, apparently mattered to much more than just a frivolous vacation.

Too bad she couldn't have realized this before he had invested the last year of his life falling in love with her.

"Ace, are you listening?" she shook his hand just a little.

Acer moved his eyes up to hers but sat practically lifeless. Anessa felt a pain inside as she saw the hurt in his eyes.

"The whole time I was freaking out, Zac was reassuring me and thinking about the whole situation. He was helping me calm down and helping me find answers and come to my senses."

He finally spoke to her with a weakened voice, "So that's why you went to his house this past week? Because he can calm you down and help you come to your senses?"

Anessa nodded slightly. "But it's more than that. Zac and I didn't get married on that trip, Acer, but we still took vows. We committed ourselves to each other and promised to love and take care of each other. And I think, no matter how many years pass, or what we go through, those promises still stand…"

"And yet you've spent the past year claiming to love me and _sleeping_ with me. Where was your precious commitment in all of that?" Acer looked at her with confusion and disgust in his eyes. "If love and commitment mean so much to you then why'd you let him go? If those vows were so important then how could you climb into bed with me…or anyone for that matter?"

Anessa took a deep breath, "You're right," she nodded and felt the tears beginning to form. "You're absolutely right. And I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that, until I started kinda freaking out again, I had forgotten about those promises. But when my heart really needed someone to rein it in, Zac was the one that I ran to."

She paused and took in another deep breath and looked at Acer with the most serious look she could muster. The tears that began rolling down her cheeks should've been warning enough but she knew her words had to be said. "I'm sorry Ace. I do love you. But Zac has my heart. He's had it for more than six years now. And I need to be honest with you – and myself - I want him to keep it."

Acer nodded but quickly stood up from the bench and ran a hand through his hair. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned back to look at her. He wanted to hold his anger in but there was still information he needed from Anessa. There was something she wasn't telling him and he needed to know. No matter how his attitude might come across in this breakup scenario he wanted to get all the answers.

"What changed, Anessa?" He looked at her through an unrelenting stare. "In three weeks' time, what has changed? What made you _freak out_ so much that you had to run back to Zac?"

He stopped with that. He knew if she would answer that question then he could attempt to understand. The answer to that one question held the key to more than just her heart; it was her life, with or without him.

Anessa's mouth went dry. She wiped at the tears on her face and worked to breathe normally. Her response was critical. She could almost determine his reaction and it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Her mind raced again with options. She could keep the truth from him, but that would go against what she and Zac had discussed. She could tell him the truth, backing up to the fact that Acer had lied to her. But that card had been played enough. Or, she could tell him the truth; tell him she was still trying to make sense of everything and then leave him with the fact that she was going back to Zac's house.

She looked up in time to see Jeana coming back around the bend in the path. Her mother was back and could support her and mediate Acer's reaction.

Acer noticed Jeana's presence as well. Still he stared at Anessa. "Please answer me. At least give me the benefit of knowing what's turned you against me."

"Ace," she shook her head. "I'm not against you… But you are right. Something has happened. It's something that's making me think about the way my life is playing out right now…and what will happen in the future."

"And that is?" Acer prodded.

Anessa closed her eyes and held them for a moment, praying for the strength to just tell him. When she opened them again she felt the inward battle give way to the truth.

"I'm going to have a baby, Ace. That's what sent me into a mental overdrive. I'm pregnant."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Acer cocked his head to the side without saying a word. He stared at her face, working to understand her words; trying to read her body – in whatever language it was speaking. He glanced up, noticing that Jeana had stalled at the edge of the small pavilion where she now stood silent.

Anessa's mother had undoubtedly heard the last sentence that was said. She didn't appear to be surprised about the news. It wasn't news to her, obviously. Acer moved his eyes from the older woman back to the younger one in front of him.

With no hint of a smile on his face he backed away another two steps and took in a breath.

"How far along?" He asked for curiosity's sake.

"Just a few weeks," Anessa placed her hands in her lap and twisted at the various rings on her fingers. "I'm almost positive it happened the night of the awards ceremony," she added in a near whisper.

"So," Acer tightened his arms across his biceps. His shoulders raised with tension as he began to speak. "You're saying this is my fault?"

Anessa heard his words. No matter how softly he had said them, the malice was there. She wasn't exactly sure of his thoughts at the moment. Trying to put herself in his shoes, Anessa stayed quiet. She had thrown him a ton of bricks and now the weight of each one was pushing down on him.

Acer left the previous question hanging in the air. "It _is_ my baby? Or have you and _Zac_ been involved this whole time?" He continued.

"No!" This time Anessa shook her head strongly. "I know I'm screwing this up royally, Ace. This whole situation…I won't try to offer you any excuses at all. But I can promise you that I have been completely faithful to you. Even through these past three weeks, you have to know that since we got together…I…I've only been with you."

Acer rolled his tongue around in his mouth as he thought and fought to keep his emotions under control. So many questions pounded through his head causing him to lose focus on any of them.

"I need…" the tall young man stepped back toward Anessa and towered over her seated form. "I can't talk to you right now, Anessa. You're right. I don't need to hear excuses – just like you didn't want to hear excuses from me after that night – I'm not sure that I can listen to you or hold a conversation with you right now."

"Ace, please…" she reached toward him until he ripped his arms from his chest and threw his hands up to keep her from touching him.

"You wanted space? Well, so do I now. Why don't you and your mom get back in your car and you head back to wherever the hell you're going, Anessa. You aren't going home, are you," he laughed sarcastically. "You're going back to Zac's house. Is he ready to take you back into his bed too?"

"Acer!" Jeana's voice spoke from behind Anessa for the first time.

He turned and offered Anessa's mother a sad, hurt look. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hart. I'm just…I'm sorry."

On that note Acer walked past both women and headed to his car. He had no clue where he was going and couldn't focus on anything. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted away from Anessa.

He slid into the leather seat and slammed the door. He threw his head back against the seat and jammed the key into the ignition. With a heavy sigh he closed his eyes and just sat there. For one moment he let some of Anessa's words adhere to his memory. _"…pregnant…baby…after the awards…"_

The twenty-something took a deep breath, opened his eyes and looked back toward the picnic tables. Anessa was still seated, her mother beside her now, shoulder to shoulder. She was undoubtedly crying with her mother trying to console her.

He shifted carefully into reverse and backed out of the parking space just far enough to turn the nose of his car toward the main road. He stopped at the sign and then nudged his car onto the road and up the hill, farther and farther away from the woman he had grown to love, and a new life that he'd helped create.

That thought struck hard against his heart. There was a baby. The situation was no longer just about him and Anessa and a struggling young relationship. It wasn't about games, having fun, or even fibs and lies. He ran a hand through his hair as he stared out the windshield. One night. One mistake. A baby.

Acer was less than a half a mile away from the park but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. He pulled off the road and put his head against the steering wheel. A baby…his baby. _What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to support a family? Anessa wasn't expecting this. It is my fault. But what do I do? What's she going to do?_

The questions whispered through, one right after the other. _If this did happen the night of the awards…she's almost a month along. She didn't want a baby, not yet…at least I don't think she did. What are the options for her, for us? Would she even consider…_

His last notion made him sit up straighter. He looked around to make sure there was no traffic and shifted the car into 'drive'. He u-turned on the winding road and headed back toward the park. The idea was ludicrous. With Ani's Catholic upbringing she'd never consider it, would she? That's why he had to get back to the park. If she wouldn't regard anything else that he said from this point on, he had to give her his opinion on this one matter.

He pulled back into the parking lot just as Jeana was helping Anessa into the passenger seat. They both looked up as the gravel crumbled underneath Acer's tires. He stopped without pulling into a parking spot and opened his door. As quickly as Anessa turned her head to look at him, Acer stood from his seat and leaned on the roof.

"You can't have…" his words faltered as he tried to catch his breath.

Anessa looked at him with irritated eyes and a shake of her head. She squinted at him, "What?!" She snapped.

"An…" Acer bit his lip. "I know you have options, Ani, with the baby, I mean." He stared at her, trying to get his point across without actually voicing his fear.

Anessa understood. Her face softened as she looked at him. He suddenly looked completely vulnerable, as if one word from her could shatter him. She placed a hand on her abdomen and looked down at it before looking up at Acer again. His gaze followed hers.

"I have a lot to think about, Ace. But I won't hurt my baby. You don't have to worry about that, okay?" In the realm of things Ace could worry about, abortion wasn't one of them.

He nodded numbly, one tiny bit of relief making its way through his system. He stayed silent another moment, just watching Anessa. She looked at him, wondering what else he had to say.

His shoulders dropped as he let his eyes roam over her face. His head tilted to the side and she could see the emotions in his eyes. This was the Acer Roberts that she had trouble resisting. This was the young man who snuck his way into her heart when she wasn't planning to ever fall in love again. It was the compassion in his heart, the desperate need to feel what she was feeling and understand who she was from the inside out…the man who had fallen in love with her.

"Come with me, Anessa," his look pleaded with her. "Let's go back to the house and sit down and really talk about this." He stepped backwards and began to walk toward her. "You've just told me about our baby. _Our_ baby. Please, Anessa, come with me. Just you and me so you can tell me how you found out."

Acer knelt down beside the open door beside Anessa's knees. He reached up to take her hand but she pulled back and shook her head slightly. "I…I don't want to be alone with you, Ace." Her eyes shifted back and forth between his as she tried to explain her feelings.

"I'm scared, Ace. I'm scared because I'm pregnant and my heart and my mind can't agree on anything right now. There's a part of me that loves you," she glanced down at his knees as he shifted nervously on his toes, "but I don't know if that part is big enough…"

"I'll find a way to take care of us," Acer interrupted. He saw Jeana shift her hands on the steering wheel, gripping a little tighter than necessary.

Anessa blinked her eyes and pressed her lips together. "But I'm not sure I want you to," Anessa said more solidly. "You were right, Ace, I do have options with the baby. We know this is your baby. But honestly, I'm not convinced that I want you to be the dad."

Acer's eyes hardened along with his tone, once more. "You what? You can't keep me from my own child, Anessa."

"Ace, I don't want to fight with you, not now. Just listen to me," she held up a hand as Acer started to jump in again. "I need time to figure out a lot of things. No, I won't abort this baby, not by choice. But I do need to figure out if I'm going to keep this baby. I know a lot of couples are looking for a baby to adopt. I'm not against that idea. Maybe I want to be a single mom. It's do-able."

"Or maybe you want Zac to be the father – but not me," Acer stood up, forcing her to try and continue as she stared upwards into his face with the sun shining into her eyes.

"We never discussed a future, Ace. You and I never talked about having a family, or what happens in ten years. We've been all about the here and now and enjoying each other and just being together. All that's great, and you are wonderful. But,"

"But you didn't plan on getting pregnant. You didn't really plan on spending your life with me. Is that it? Were you just using me until the timing was right for you and Zac again? Is that what this was? Cause if that was the case I sure wish you'd told me. Maybe if that was the case then I would've thought twice about the whole condom debacle. Maybe love wouldn't have been a part of it," he paused and took a breath before closing his arms over his chest and putting on his defensive front completely. "Has love ever really been a part of this for you, Anessa?" He wondered with piercing eyes and a set jaw.

"I just told you it was," Anessa defended.

"No, you said a part of you loves me. Is that the way it's been this past year, Ani? Only a part of you loves me? Well a part of me loves you, too. Matter of fact, every part of me loves you. My head, my heart, my soul. You can't say the same thing, can you? Is that how it's been this whole time?" Acer gritted his teeth and steeled himself for her answer.

Ani glanced over her shoulder at her mother who was sitting stone-still in the driver's seat, listening to every word now.

"No?" she looked down, shook her head and tried to answer honestly. "I'm not sure..."

Acer, too, looked at Jeana. He accepted Ani's answer with a stiff nod. "We aren't finished, Anessa," he stated as he dragged his feet backwards away from her. "You're pregnant with my child," he swallowed to wet his dry throat. "I'll give you a few days to get your thoughts together and I'll be doing the same. We'll talk again. The decisions you're talking about…I should have a say in them too. I want you to think about what I've just told you. I want you to think about our last year together. I think you're wrong. If you really look back I think you'll find that we have talked about a future. And I think you'll find that until three weeks ago, you loved me much more than you do right now. We're not done, not by a long shot."

Acer's eyes glazed over with distance as he turned and went back to his car. This time he pressed hard on the gas pedal and let the tires spin out as he turned around and left the lot.

Anessa watched as he sped up the hill and out of sight. She turned in her seat and leaned her head against the headrest. Jeana slowly removed one of her hands and pressed it against her daughter's shoulder.

The time with Acer was very near what Jeana had expected. He was a determined man. And if Anessa had shown him any hint of true love during their relationship then he would be back, searching for that love again.

Jeana felt Anessa's shoulder shake. She turned her head and watched her daughter break down, her hands covering her face to catch the tears.

"Do you want to come back to the house, Sweetheart? I'll make some tea and we can just sit."

Anessa shook her head.

"Do you want Acer to come back? I can call him," Jeana offered bringing a more firm head shake from Anessa.

"Should I just take you back to your house? It's a lot to take in, but I'm not sure you should be alone."

Anessa wiped her eyes after Jeana's last suggestion and then looked at her mother. With tears streaming down her face she gave her the only answer that made sense in her mind.

"I don't want to be alone, Mama. I…I want to be with Zac."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	11. Simplicity of the Chaos

**Ready Or Not - Chapter 10 - Simplicity of the Chaos**

Zac let the refrigerator door close on its own. He had been hesitant to let Anessa meet with Acer Roberts. Even with the thought that Jeana was going with her he was fearful of the outcome. He was afraid of Acer's persuasive abilities and the fact that Ani was pregnant with Ace's child. That alone might lead her to go right back to the younger man.

Those thoughts had haunted him so much over the morning that he hadn't eaten. Now he still wasn't hungry but was forcing himself to eat a few grapes, a couple of slices of chicken from the supermarket and a glass of water. He figured it would at least give him enough strength to accept whatever the afternoon might hold.

The sound of a tone from the gate sensor told him someone was coming up the drive. He couldn't help putting down the food and wandering toward the door just to peek out the window.

Anessa's car rolled to a stop in the back part of the driveway. He noted that Jeana was driving and that Ani's mom was getting out first. Zac swallowed a lump of nerves and breathed deeply. He then opened the front door and did his best to smile at both of the Hart women who were standing there.

"Jeana," he reached out and leaned down to the shorter of the two ladies and wrapped his arms around her. He had to smile as she left a light kiss on his cheek.

"It's been too long, Zac," Jeana leaned her neck back and let him give her a hug as though he was her own son.

"I know," he ducked his head shyly, "I'm sorry, Mama J." Zac released his hold on Anessa's mother and then moved his eyes toward the younger woman.

He moved backwards so they could get into the house but he noted the state of Anessa's eyes. Not swollen or blood shot, but there had obviously been tears. She looked tired and a bit depressed. Still as she came in behind her mother she stopped right beside Zac and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Jeana turned to see Zac putting his arms around Anessa and bending to kiss her head. Other than a bit of tension and sadness on both their young faces, the scene seemed purely natural and right.

"Are you alright?" Zac asked her softly and felt her arms squeeze just a bit tighter around him.

"I'm not sure," Anessa tilted her head to show Zac the fresh tears that were fogging her eyes.

"Come sit down. I'll make you a sandwich. I just got the chicken out of the fridge. Does that sound okay?" He refused to remove his arms from her as they walked toward the kitchen.

Jeana lead the way through a home she had visited numerous times. In the kitchen she saw the fruit and lunch meat on the counter. "Why don't you two sit down, I'll fix something. That is, if you don't mind, Zac."

He looked at Anessa's mother and then pulled out a chair and had Ani sit down. He smiled toward Jeana and hesitantly pulled out a chair for himself. "Not at all. Please, go ahead. Like you've always told me, my house is yours, make yourself at home."

Anessa smiled up at Zac and reached for his hand, pulling him gently to sit down. He did so, and then moved his chair closer to hers, sitting knee to knee with her and holding her hands.

"How…how did he take it? What did you tell him?" Zac wondered with his hands nearly trembling against hers.

Anessa glanced toward Jeana who had opened the refrigerator and was pulling various items onto the counter. She looked back at Zac and wiped a few tears that had moistened the skin under her eyes.

"I told him about Hawaii," she tilted her eyes and let a slight laugh slip through her lips.

Zac rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs, then reached up to catch a stray tear that found its way to the corner of her eye. "Hawaii? I don't get it."

"Since before I called Ace, I've been thinking about how you and I got started. Yes, the show, the production, the tour…but Hawaii…our first trip together, Zac, just us. We were young and thrown together for all the publicity and craziness. But through all of that we gained a friendship and consideration for each other – and that turned into love. Neither of us can deny that." Anessa hesitated only a moment as Zac nodded his head.

"That trip wasn't just us having fun. It was us having a chance to talk about the future and what we wanted. It was us getting to know each other and making promises to each other that we intended to keep."

Zac closed his eyes and nodded, agreeing with her still.

"But we let life get in the way of our lives." Anessa relaxed more in the chair and rested her back against the padding. "We were so determined in Hawaii, to make things work. When I backed out of an actual wedding, you were adamant that we still needed to promise each other our futures…commit our lives together."

"I – I shouldn't have pushed you. We were too young to make those kinds of decisions." He looked at her without a smile.

"No, that's just it," she interjected. "I disagree. I don't think we were too young. And I don't think it was just the romance of being in such an amazing place together. It was so simple, Zac. The things we shared with each other on that trip…whatever cosmic power put us together and allowed us to find each other and take that time together…it was so simple. Falling in love – I knew I was in love with you long before that trip. And when we came home I was positive that we could take on the world."

Anessa squeezed his hands and worked to keep eye contact as she tried to tell him what she was feeling.

"Life gets complicated," Zac added.

Anessa shrugged her shoulders and shook her head lightly. "Life does, but love doesn't – at least it shouldn't." She lifted her hands with his and pressed his knuckles against her cheek. "But yeah, we let life get in the way of that simplicity. The thing is though," she put their hands back down on his knees and looked down at them. "We made those promises, Zac and I believe in them, still. I believe in us and I still love you. You have to know that. It has nothing to do with me being pregnant, other than opening my eyes enough to really think about my life."

Zac breathed deeply as he watched her talking to him. The memories of Hawaii, their commitment ceremony, their blossoming physical relationship and growing love all melded together as he looked into her face. She had only changed in one way since that trip – in his eyes she was more beautiful now.

"I told Acer that the promises you and I made in Hawaii were life-long and that I want to honor our commitment," Anessa continued.

"But?" Zac wondered, feeling a bit uplifted and yet unsure of the situation.

"But nothing," Anessa picked up on his thoughts. "He asked why I was suddenly making this change. What had changed so much over the past few weeks between us – him and me. That's when I told him I was pregnant and that I'm pretty sure it happened the night of the awards."

"Okay," Zac's eyes widened as her story progressed. "Did that freak him out?"

"Not as much as I thought it would. He first wondered if it was his baby," she stated softly.

"How could he think otherwise?" Zac's eyes darkened at Acer's mistrust of Anessa.

"He was angry – because I've been here with you. Not about the baby, more-so because I want to come back to you," she admitted shyly. "He asked me… no, he practically begged me to go back to my house so we could be alone and talk about this whole situation. But I don't want to be alone with him. I'm not scared of him, but I'm afraid that I'll agree to something… I don't know. There are just so many things I don't know right now. It's going to be hard enough figuring this out…"

"He didn't ask you to end the pregnancy though?" Zac's voice again took a protective turn.

Anessa shook her head, "No. Just like I've talked about with you and mom, he didn't want that to be an option. And it's not."

Zac nodded, pleased that there was at least one part of this issue that they could all agree upon.

They stopped talking as Jeana brought plates to both Anessa and Zac, setting them on the table and then going back into the kitchen. She brought them each a bottle of water and then stood between the twosome as they moved their chairs back in place and started taking small bites.

Jeana put her hand on Anessa's shoulder. "Do you want me to stay?" she wondered.

Anessa's eyes grew larger, "I thought you were going to eat."

"I was, but only if you need me to stay. If you're okay," Jeana looked toward Zac, "I don't want to intrude, Ani. I've heard what the two of you have said and I know there's a lot more that you need to discuss. I will stay if you want, but the decisions you have to make – I just think maybe you and Zac need to talk about them together. I don't want you to hold back because I'm here." Jeana explained.

Zac wiped a crumb from his mouth and then stood up quickly. "Jeana," he shook his head when she looked at him, "Stay, please? At least eat lunch with us. I want you to, please? You were with Ani when she talked to Acer. Whatever we talk about right now, you're Ani's support-crew, as am I." He grinned lightly and twitched his nose with words from their movie trilogy filling his mind. "Cause you know, we're all in this together, right?"

Jeana smiled at him while Anessa let out a burst of laughter, something that pleased all three of them. Before Jeana could disagree, Zac pulled out a chair across from Anessa and pointed thoughtfully toward it. "Sit, I'll make you a sandwich and then the two of you can tell me about the rest of the meeting."

At his gentle order Jeana took her seat and looked across at her daughter with a smile. Zac took an extra moment to kiss each woman on the cheek and then went to work in the kitchen, quickly creating a plate for Jeana as she had just made for them. He glanced back at the two dark-haired women who were making light conversation and he smiled.

Anessa was right. Life is complicated. Love is not. And, if they could remember that from here on out, then they could weather whatever was thrown at them, because of their love.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Zac watched as Jeana got into her own car and drove through the gate. He waved and then closed the door before turning around to see Anessa making herself comfortable on the couch.

She pulled a pillow against her stomach and stared into open space as she adjusted her body and stretched her legs out, taking up the majority of the seating space on his furniture.

"You feeling okay?" Zac stood next to her and swept a few strands of hair off her forehead.

"Mmm-hmmm" she mumbled and moved her face to keep contact with his fingers.

Zac moved to the opposite end of the couch, raised her feet off the cushions and then sat down and placed her feet in his lap where he could rub them gently and tickle her, if necessary.

"That's something we haven't touched on, I don't think," he mentioned as he squeezed her toes slightly and then moved his thumb to the arch of her foot.

"Hmmm?" her tone edged to a higher pitch asking him to explain his observation.

"You feeling okay. Have you had any morning sickness? I mean, what has the doctor said?" Zac stopped his questions when Anessa turned her face and gripped the pillow against her abdomen.

"What doctor?" she asked, shifting her eyes between his and watching his eyebrows raise.

"The – your…what do you call them, the ob-gyn…the baby doctor," Zac shook his head trying to find the words.

They both stared at each other for a moment before the realization hit home.

"You haven't been to the doctor, have you," Zac now watched her face as she rolled onto her back and simply looked at him.

"No," she mouthed. After a long breath she reached for his hand which he gladly gave and held her fingers. "I guess that's the other part of this that's going to make it all real, you know? I've told Ace. Now I need to get on track with doctors' appointments and an ultrasound and whatever else I need to do."

"Pre-natal vitamins," Zac suggested with a finger on his chin as he thought about what she should be doing – and what he should be doing as the man who would likely be a father to this child.

Anessa smiled, "What do you know about pre-natal vitamins, Zachary Alexander?" She could practically see the wheels turning in his mind as he sat a little straighter and appeared to focus on a spot of air directly in front of him. "What are you thinking over there?"

Zac blinked a few times and looked back toward Anessa. He studied her amused face and pressed his lips together. "We're talking about a baby here, Ani, aren't we? Your baby," he practically whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded with a more serious gaze. "Does the reality change things – about us, I mean?"

Zac shook his head. "No, it's just – you've been talking about making this real to you. Up until this very moment I've been focused on just taking care of you, making sure you're alright and helping you make decisions. I guess it's just hit me that we're talking about a little life growing right there inside of you…and – am I right – I'm gonna get to be a part of this baby's life? You want me…?" His eyes grew wide, "Depending on how things work out, I mean, with Acer…me…a, a, kinda like, a dad?" Zac caught his breath when Anessa took his hand and placed it under the pillow on her belly.

She nodded strongly, "Not 'kind of'… but yeah, a daddy," she smiled at him, shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head as she watched him. "I haven't been as sure of anything since we left Hawaii. We talked about having children while we were in Hawaii. I know this isn't what either of us had dreamed about, Zac. But I do. I want you by my side through all of this. My heart knew it the day that I drove over here and climbed into your bed. And it's why I haven't left. I'm afraid if I leave you'll change your mind."

Zac twisted his neck to shake his head. "Not gonna happen." His face began to relax and a smile began to grow until his lips left dimples in his cheeks. He shifted their bodies until he could lean over Anessa's abdomen. He removed the pillow and then lifted her top while she giggled quietly at his antics.

"What are you doing?" she asked through her joyous sounds.

"Shhh," he looked up at her, "I'll talk to you again in just a minute, hang tight up there." He focused his vision on the upper portion of her belly button where he began by dropping a kiss on her skin.

"Hello in there," he moved his lips against her tender stomach, making a rainbow over her navel. "You don't know me yet but we've got plenty of time to get to know one another. First things first, be nice to your mother. She is gonna love you and take care of you and worry about you for years and years. The least you can do is be nice to her while you're in there growing, hear me?"

He glanced up at Anessa who seemed to be torn between laughing and crying at his little impromptu speech.

"Now, second of all," he focused his attention on her stomach again, "My name is Zac. But if all goes well, you're gonna call me…" his voice broke before he could say the word, "I'm gonna do my best to be your dad." Zac cleared his throat and chanced looking at Anessa. He nuzzled his nose against her tan skin and left another round of kisses on her lower abdomen. "You may have two of us in your life, Kiddo, two dads, and if that's the case we'll get things worked out. I promise we will. But here's the main thing you need to know. We love you. Already, we love you. And I love your mom very much. Okay?"

Before he could say anything else Anessa reached down and ran her hand through Zac's hair, pulling his attention back to her. "I love you, too," she added before pulling on him to join her for a kiss.

"What time is it?" Zac pulled back slightly from their embrace and looked toward the grandfather clock in the living room. "It's almost four, what time does your doctor's office close?"

Anessa ran another hand through his hair and thought for a moment. "Four-thirty, I think, why?"

"We're not putting this off any longer. If you're three or four weeks along you need to do this, Ani. We need to make sure everything is okay for you and the baby." Zac looked at her with care and concern written all over his face.

"Well I can't get in today, silly," Anessa's excuse was enough to cause Zac to give her a fatherly look.

"Call, make an appointment to get in tomorrow. It's blood-test first, right, and then an ultrasound after that." He leaned back down to kiss her once more before easing himself over top of her and getting off the couch.

Anessa watched him go into the kitchen and stretched her muscles before he came back with the phone. He handed her the cordless device and then stood waiting.

Anessa flicked her eyes back and forth between him and the handset she was now holding.

"Well," he waited.

Anessa looked at him, "Well, yourself. I don't have Dr. James's number memorized."

Zac returned her gaze and rolled his eyes, "Is it in your phone? Where is your phone?"

"Zac! I don't keep my ob-gyn's phone number in my cell. I need it once a year. I don't even have to call for an appointment for my birth control shot," she began the lecture.

"And yet you missed it, didn't you?" Zac added, earning a slap to his thigh.

"That's not funny," Anessa pouted on the couch in front of him.

"Sorry," he apologized and headed toward the computer desk. "You said, 'Dr. James'? Is that the same lady you've had for a while?" he picked up his iPhone and began tapping on the screen.

"Yeah," Anessa pulled herself into a sitting position, impressed at the details Zac recalled. She watched as Zac began looking for the doctor's phone number. "You went with me to a checkup once, didn't you?"

He looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, 21 year old guy sitting in a gynecologist's waiting room. I had some really nice looks from the older ladies who were in there."

Anessa chuckled. "Hey, if I remember right, you were the one who said you'd tag along!"

"Not sure what I was thinking at that point and very happy that you didn't let me go into the exam room with you," Zac commented.

Anessa placed her hands at her sides and pushed up off the couch. She stepped towards Zac and rubbed her hand up and down his bicep before moving her fingertips onto his chest and outlining his collarbone. "I was changing birth control. Mom wasn't completely happy with me changing and she was busy with Ella. She told me if I wanted to do it I'd have to go to the doctor on my own. So you offered to come with me."

"That's what it was…" he remembered. He reached up to catch her fingers before they tiptoed onto his neck and around to his earlobe.

"Did I ever thank you for doing that?" She asked with a kiss to his fingertips.

Zac nodded. "I am pretty sure you did. Maybe at some point you can thank me again," he winked at her and held up his phone. "Now, is this the right doctor?"

Ani looked at the screen and nodded in agreement. Zac handed her the phone. "Call. You probably don't need an appointment for the blood test. We can go knock that out tomorrow morning and then maybe go out to eat, or whatever you're feeling up to. You really aren't having any morning sickness?"

Anessa hit the 'call' button and waited while Zac kept talking. She shrugged at his question, "Maybe a little, but nothing much so far. A little nausea, but I've also been stressed out about talking to Ace…" she put her finger in the air to tell him that someone had answered.

In a matter of minutes she had the doctor's orders to get the lab-work done first thing the next morning. As Zac had said, they would take care of the not-so-fun blood-draw and then he would treat her to breakfast. He would care for her; he would love her; and as real as the situation was becoming she realized that even with the looming debate with Acer Roberts, she was as happy as a woman could be.

She put the phone back in its spot on the desk and wrapped her arms around Zac's waist from behind him. She placed a couple of soft kisses between his shoulder blades and then rubbed her cheek against his shirt, pressing against his back like a purring kitten.

"Thank you," she spoke against his cotton-covered spine.

"You're welcome," he answered simply.

He let her hold him, standing in the middle of the living room for several minutes before turning in her arms and placing his on her shoulders. The two began swaying to silent music, foreheads together, each rubbing noses with the other or pressing their lips together lightly.

"I love you," Anessa spoke against his lips. "I wish this baby…"

"Shhh," Zac kissed her lips again, "I love you, too."

"But," Anessa tried to counter.

Zac shook his head against hers and looked into her eyes. "All that matters is what I just said and the fact that you feel the same way. Right?"

Anessa nodded her approval.

The next half hour was spent with them dancing silently together in Zac's living room. The simplicity of their feelings for each other were becoming completely in focus and directed exactly where they wanted – back where they belonged.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	12. Because I Love You

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 11 – Because I Love You**

Anessa sat back and pressed a hand against her stomach. "I'm not sure eating for two means clearing a stack of pancakes, eggs and bacon at one meal." She cringed slightly and then covered her mouth as a quiet but audible burp escaped.

Zac laughed with a little snort in his tone. "Feel better?"

"I'd like to say this is all your fault," Anessa looked at him and sat up straighter trying to get a deep breath.

Zac leaned back against the leather cover of the seat and looked across at her. "You can if you want, you know. I'm not going to argue or correct you. Little Junior in there can be all my fault. I have no problem with that. I'm sure when we're in the delivery room I'll get all the blame anyway."

He shrugged his shoulders and noticed the smile on her face.

"What?" he wondered as he played with the last few bites on his own plate.

"The delivery room… You'll be in there with me?" She asked with a content, curious gaze across the table.

"If you want me to be... I'll be there if you tell me to," he again shrugged and inched his free hand across the table requesting her fingers to hold.

"But do you want to be there? I mean in all the craziness? What if I say something that hurts your feelings? I won't know what I'm saying…" her thoughts drifted away as she let him hold the tips of her fingers and she rubbed her other hand over her abdomen.

Zac looked at the gauze and tape that was still attached to her inner elbow. "You weathered the blood-letting pretty well. You're a tough woman, Anessa Hart. Child birth will be a challenge but I have no doubt you'll handle it like a champion – and I'll be right there by your side. Provided your dad doesn't kill me in this whole process." He stopped talking and looked back at Anessa's amused face. "Does Greg know yet? He and Ella, do they know you're pregnant?"

Anessa looked at their linked hands. She thought about her father and his reaction to this news. She was quite sure Jeana had already shared the situation with him, minus the details of how this baby had come into being. She hadn't talked to her father, or her younger sister but knew, just like she had faced Acer, she would have to face them at some point.

Each time she thought about it she simply remembered a time several years prior when a younger Ella had point blank asked her and Zac if they were 'making a baby.' She looked at him with that thought running through her mind.

"Do you recall," she started with a half smirk, half pout lining her face, "the time that Ella asked us if we were making a baby?"

Zac squeezed her fingers and then let go of them as he sat back in the seat once more and rolled his eyes in thought. "I remember her interrupting several make-out sessions…"

"We were at Mom and Dad's, on the couch. They had gone on a date or something and Ella was supposed to be watching a movie in her room. I'm pretty sure our hands were in respectable places but I think our kissing was way out of hand. She was, I don't know, maybe ten or eleven? Still too young, but curious about everything," Anessa shook her head.

Zac raised a finger and nodded, "We had been watching some cheesy romance movie and I was more into you than the movie," he grinned with the boyish look that had first caught Anessa's eye.

"You practically had me pinned to the couch," she smiled more than half-heartedly and lowered her voice.

"I wouldn't have done anything wrong. It's not like we were naked or anything. We were just…making out. It's what teenagers do, isn't it?"

Anessa wadded up her napkin and threw it at him. "Not when there's a younger, curious sister in the house! Don't you remember she came in and stood there watching us before we even knew she was in the room."

Zac tried to hide a laugh unsuccessfully. "She asked if we were making a baby…and then scolded us because she said we were too young to be doing that – _and_ that she was pretty sure she was too young to be a witness to it!"

"I was mortified!" Anessa reminded Zac of her reaction to her sister's voice on that particular occasion.

"You were not!" He countered. "You were more worried that she was going to tell Greg and Jeana that we were having sex on their couch – whether it was true or not! Didn't we bribe her with ice cream after that?"

Anessa smiled. She scooted her plate out of the way and rested her un-bandaged elbow on the table as a perch for her chin. "Yes, Mr. Ice-Cream-Solves-Everything. You talked her into keeping her mouth shut in exchange for a triple scoop of rocky-road in a waffle cone. You were scared that she was going to tell mom and dad just as much as I was."

Zac raised his eyebrows. "Are you kidding me? I was terrified that's what she was going to tell them. God knows…at that point we hadn't gone all the way…if she had said _anything_ to Greg we would've never gotten there."

Anessa couldn't help but smile at his fearful face. She appreciated the respect that Zac had for her father. Even after getting to know Gregory Hart there was still a portion of Zac Alexander that feared and respected the fatherly side of the man. Zac always treated her parents with the utmost respect – even in times of joking and knowing that he was practically a member of the family. That was just another part of him that made her love him even more.

"You know, after mom and dad got home that night and you left, Ella came tiptoeing into my room." Anessa kept her chin in her palm, watching Zac's reaction. "She apologized for interrupting us. But she also asked me if that's what people did when they make a baby."

Zac raised his eyebrows again. "Seriously? I remember you telling me that she apologized. But not the other part. What did you tell her?"

"I told her that it takes a lot more than what we were doing. But I told her that sometimes, when two people fall in love, they want to be as close to each other as possible and, sometimes, when people make love they make a baby as well," Anessa explained.

"Did she understand, do you think?" Zac wondered.

Anessa looked down at her hand that remained on her belly. "She asked me if you and I would ever make love…or make a baby together."

Zac sucked in a breath and just tilted his head to watch her soft eyes live the memory.

"I told her I hoped we would. And that I thought it would be really nice to have a baby with you – someday." Anessa glanced up at him and let their eyes meld as they looked at each other.

After a couple of minutes of silently communicating, Zac leaned forward onto the table and shifted his face to make sure her eyes stayed with his. "It will be," he started, "it'll be amazing to have a baby with you, Ani. And I'll be here for you, every step of the way, okay?"

She laughed as she sniffled to keep her tearful nose from flooding. "Thank you," she offered.

Zac grinned at her and grabbed his phone to check the time. He took a deep breath and reached for her hand. "Ultrasound in two hours. I think we have time for ice cream!" he declared.

Anessa groaned at the thought. "We just finished breakfast and I ate enough for – like – triplets! No more food right now!"

Zac laughed, but froze his movements making her look at him directly again.

"Tr-triplets?" the foreign look in his eyes was a feeling that reached all the way to his stomach.

Anessa eyed him with a shake of her head. "You've already signed on to be here every step of the way. Single baby or octuplets, Alexander, you're in."

"I think that was a verbal agreement. I may just need more persuading before I follow through with a formal contract," he puckered his lips and touched his lower one with the tip of his index finger.

Anessa blushed slightly. "Right here?" she wondered with a shy smile.

Zac eased out of the seat and slyly pushed himself into the slick one beside her. Anessa did her best not to move as he pressed against her and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Just one, please?" he nuzzled his nose against her cheek as he whispered into her ear.

"Zac…"

"You know I'm on board. You know I'm not going anywhere. I just…kinda…want a kiss. I can't help it. Just thinking about you having a baby…it's sexy." He took the chance to kiss her earlobe and let a touch of his warm breath brush her skin.

Anessa closed her eyes and shivered. "How did I ever…" she turned her face slowly until their foreheads met. "I'm scared. I already feel like a whale after eating that huge breakfast. I have no clue what to expect in the next nine months. But in this one moment… I know I want you. I don't know how I ever gave you up."

With that Anessa tilted her head and allowed their lips to meet. The kiss was romantic; not too long, not too short, not too involved. Just a simple kiss between a man and woman who had found a lost love.

Anessa knew the moment was true and meaningful with one touch that happened as they kissed. She swore she could already feel her baby move the second Zac's hand joined hers, slightly under her shirt, covering her abdomen where that new life was.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

"Anessa Hart?" The nurse called from the doorway of the doctor's offices.

All of a sudden Anessa felt a warm, panicky feeling creeping through her body. Every eye in the waiting room was on her, some probably recognizing her from her starring roles. And, those same eyes were probably recognizing the man she was with as well.

Zac noticed the nerves in her eyes as she reached a shaky hand down toward his. He squeezed her hand firmly but couldn't avoid the less than excited tremors in her fingers. "Ani? What's wrong?" he stood with her and looked down into her face, recognizing a scared young woman.

Anessa pressed her lips together and willed the tears to stay in her eyes as she shook her head gently. "I'm just…still scared I guess. Something…I don't know…" she took a shaky breath, "I don't know if I can do this," she admitted.

Zac tugged her gently toward the nurse and the open door. Although she was hesitant, Anessa didn't fight him. But once they reached the kind woman, Zac asked her for just a moment before they did anything else. The nurse nodded and let the door close behind them, shutting them out from the others in the waiting area.

The short hallway was empty, minus their nurse and another sitting at a desk a few yards away. Zac took the quiet moment to put his hand on her face and kiss her forehead. "You are one of the bravest women I've ever met. Have I ever told you that? You're allowed to be scared – this… Ani, this is life-changing. But, we've all agreed, this was meant to be. And it's led you back to me. No matter what, you've got me now, and I've got you. Okay? We can do this together, right?"

He looked at her face and spoke with a calm gentle voice. Anessa leaned her cheek against his palm and nodded. She then turned toward the nurse and smiled. "I'm all new to this – _we're_ all new to this. What do we do?"

The nurse held out her hand and offered a caring smile, "I'm Karen. Just take a deep breath. You did blood-work earlier today, is that correct?"

Anessa showed her the small bandage covering the needle prick from that morning. "Will I have to do that again anytime soon? I'm not a big fan of needles."

Karen chuckled easily. "You're not alone on that front, Ms. Hart."

"Oh, please, call me Anessa," Ani requested. "And this is…my boyfriend, Zac," she hesitated slightly, wondering if the words suited the situation.

"Nice to meet you both," Karen continued. "I understand you've been one of Dr. James's patients for a while now. I've just joined her team a few months ago. I look forward to working with you."

"Sounds good," Anessa let out a bit of a sigh.

"Let's start by getting your weight and then Dr. James will meet with you. After that I believe you're scheduled for an ultrasound." Karen watched Anessa nod in agreement and noticed her taking another deep breath. "I understand how nerve wracking this can be. Just take things one step at a time. If you know Dr. James, then you know she'll take great care of you."

Anessa glanced up at Zac who had his eyes glued to her. She let go of his hand only for a moment and stepped up onto the scale to get her preliminary weight. She grabbed his hand again and wove her fingers tightly between his as they headed toward the doctor's office down the hallway.

"Okay, here we go," Zac heard her say and watched as she ran her hand over her belly and cradled the area as though she was already holding her unborn child.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

The doctor joined them as quickly as the two sat down. She was a small woman, petite, pretty, with curly blonde hair. Zac noticed that the older woman was shorter than Anessa. He tucked her physical appearance into his memory for future reference.

Dr. James opened a file on her desk and at the same time she punched in a bit of information on her computer. "Anessa, it's good to see you again, how have you been?"

"Good…" Anessa began forcing a smile but attempting to make it sincere, "Nervous…actually, a little bit scared." She suddenly felt like she was addressing a counselor instead of a medical physician.

"You were in just a few weeks ago for a birth control booster, is that correct?" Dr. James eyebrows dipped slightly as she looked back and forth between the file on her desk and the computer screen.

"Yes," Anessa answered slowly.

The doctor looked at her with an obvious hint of worry. "And now you've had a positive pregnancy test?"

Anessa nodded and squeezed Zac's hand against the arm of the chair.

"How long ago did you take the pregnancy test?" Dr. James jotted a few notes into the computer and continued to look back and forth at the information and then back at Anessa.

"It's been about two weeks now," Anessa answered quietly. "I…I was on location and missed my last shot. I had…" she swallowed the quickly-forming lump in order to keep explaining, "unprotected sex – once - before coming in to get my booster. I'm pretty sure that's when it happened. That was about two weeks, maybe a little more, before I took the E.P.T. at home."

"Alright," Dr. James scrolled down the computer file and squinted her eyes. "So you believe you're about four weeks along?"

"Yes," Anessa relaxed slightly.

The doctor looked over the files one more time but was hesitant as she began to speak. "Anessa, you had the blood-work done this morning, correct?"

"Yes," she answered again.

"The results that we have…show that you _aren't_ pregnant," Dr. James stated with a bit of disappointment.

"What?" Anessa and Zac both sat forward in their chairs.

"Have you had pregnancy symptoms? Nausea, tiredness, headaches? Have you had a period since you had your last birth control shot?" The doctor questioned.

Anessa looked at Zac with confusion and then back at the doctor. "Yes, actually, I have...had symptoms, at least. Morning sickness – not a lot, but I have had some…definitely been tired, with headaches and no, no period – not even a hint of it. And the home pregnancy test, it was positive. I know it was. I stared at it and read the box a hundred times. I _know_ it was positive."

Zac took Anessa's hand in both of his to calm her. The news he was hearing was a jolt of relief to his system, somewhat, but he also knew there could be much more to the situation.

His mind went into overdrive trying to think of anything that could help them both understand. "Dr. James, could she have _been_ pregnant? Could something have happened to the baby between the home pregnancy test and now? Is there something wrong with the baby? What would've made the home test positive if she's not pregnant?"

Anessa sat back in the seat trying to listen to Zac's words and feel his concern for her, his protectiveness. Yet what she was feeling was more loss than learning.

"There could be extenuating circumstances. The blood tests are rarely wrong. Home pregnancy tests claim to be 99% accurate, but it's more like 92-95%. That's still usually, good enough, but there are still the false positives _and_ the false negatives that happen. We're going to follow through with the ultrasound, just to be a hundred percent sure. And, I'm going to suggest that we do a d.n.c. just to avoid future issues."

Anessa's head was spinning. The last thing she remembered, the nurse had told her to take things one step at a time. How was she supposed to do that with all of this coming at her at once? _False positive pregnancy test…or was it positive and her baby had died…were they going to see a shadow of a baby inside of her on this ultrasound? And a d.n.c.? What was that?_

"Stop…" she put a hand over her eyes and shook her head. "I don't…I don't understand what's happening. What are you saying, exactly? Tell me slowly, please?" Anessa's reaction pulled Zac from his thoughts and focused them back on her both mentally and physically.

"Ani?" he did his best to wrap his arm around her and pulled her to him with the two chair arms between. He kissed her forehead lightly and felt the light sheen of sweat that was building at her hairline. "It's gonna be okay, Baby. Dr. James is going to help us both understand and make sure you're okay. Alright?" He looked pointedly at the small woman behind the desk who was nodding her head with a softer look adorning her face.

The three sat for another moment as Dr. James requested a glass of water from Karen for Anessa. The older woman then moved around to the front of her desk and sat on the edge where she would seem more at ease talking to the couple in her office.

After a sip of water and a few adjustments to make sure she was comfortable, Ani blinked her eyes and looked first at Zac and then at her doctor.

"Anessa, there are a lot of things to consider here. Before we talk about any of the _possibilities, _let's look at the facts. Will that be okay?" Dr. James started, hoping simplicity would help them all through this difficult time.

"Yes, please," Anessa answered.

"First and foremost, your blood test shows me that you are not pregnant. The hormone…the chemical… that should be present if you were pregnant…isn't there – at least not at a level that would indicate a pregnancy."

"But then, why…" Anessa started to ask.

"Could it have been there? Thinking about the couple of weeks prior to your pregnancy test, yes, it could have been. You were a week or so late for your birth control shot. That can send hormones out of balance and if you had unprotected sex during that time, then having those additional male hormones in you could've thrown your system off kilter as well. If you've been stressed about anything before taking the pregnancy test…even the adrenaline associated with stress can cause hiccups in tests."

"Okay," Anessa conceded. "Or, like Zac said, could I have actually been pregnant? Could there still be…I mean…I'm pretty positive I haven't…miscarried." Her eyes dropped to the floor, not wanting to even think about the possibility.

"That's why we'll do the ultrasound. It will help us make sure there's no," the doctor hesitated, looked between Zac and Anessa, and pressed her lips together, "dead tissue in your womb. If by chance you have some scar tissue, or, yes, if there was a baby, the ultrasound will help us figure that out."

Zac and Anessa both sat quietly as the doctor went on to explain the emergency procedure that they would perform after the ultrasound if the doctor deemed it necessary. Even if the pregnancy wasn't real, they didn't want to take any chances with Anessa's future hopes of becoming a mom.

After another few minutes Karen ushered them through to a room lined with a machine, a computer monitor and a small dressing area. She handed Anessa a short gown and instructed her to wear it with the opening in the front. As the nurse left, she offered Anessa and Zac a sad smile, but no other words.

Without a thought, Anessa quickly removed her top and slid the gown over her arms. She didn't even think about moving behind the curtain to avoid Zac seeing her nakedness, nor did she hesitate when he offered to tie the small strings to keep the covering from gaping open. As she sat down on the bed and waited for him to finish the crude bow she watched his face carefully.

"I'm still not sure I understand what's happening here. Zac, I swear to you, the test was positive. I've thrown up a little, you know I've been pooped out… I know my body."

Zac stopped her voice by simply putting his hands on her cheeks and pulling her face toward him so that he could kiss her forehead. "I wish I could explain it, Ani, but I can't. If what she's saying is right – if there isn't a baby, if you haven't been pregnant – I'm struggling with what I should be feeling. You know? Mainly though, I just want you to be okay. I'm still right here with you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

He pulled her head against his chest and pressed his face into her hair. He knew, no matter how confused he was, Anessa was feeling it a hundred times worse. As he held her, Zac's mind drifted to the evening when he found her asleep in his bed. Following that upside down occasion it had taken time and togetherness for their world's to turn right side up again.

Laying another kiss against her scalp, feeling her shiver slightly and her breaths hitching with the questions and chaos running through her mind, he knew that's what needed to happen again. Time, togetherness and righting their world.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

He didn't let go of her again until the doctor and technician came into the room. Once the three women were in place he stood next to Anessa and grasped her hand firmly. The silent gesture sent Ani a message of strength and assurance. Still the tears began to seep from her eyes.

"You've probably seen this routine before," Dr. James began. "I'm going to put some gel on your stomach, it's been in the warmer, so hopefully it won't be cold. After that I'm going to use this wand to spread the gel around and we'll take a look inside your uterus. I'll move it around and we'll look at your ovaries and fallopian tubes as well. We want to rule out an ectopic pregnancy along with endometriosis or cysts, or anything abnormal, okay?"

Anessa nodded and then lifted her hand with Zac's to wipe a thin line of tears that was running over her cheekbone.

"You'll hear me talking. It'll mainly be notes for Sarah to make, just to help me identify what we're looking at when I go over this again later. You don't need to answer me. But if you have questions, don't hesitate to ask, alright?"

Again Anessa nodded.

She lay still as the doctor squeezed the blue gel onto her skin and sucked in a deep breath when the wand pressed against her stomach. For a few moments she opted to watch the doctor's hands moving, and avoided looking at the screen. She even looked up at Zac whose eyes were watching the fuzzy, black and white picture. That's when Anessa looked toward the monitor.

As the doctor had said, Anessa knew this routine. Not that she'd ever had it done before – well, actually she had, for a movie role. This was supposed to be the exciting time when a pregnant mother hears and sees her baby's heartbeat. It was supposed to be a time when mommy and daddy were in tears, looking at a new life that they'd created. She was supposed to have a smile on her face and be absolutely enamored by the electronic lines and movements on the small screen.

Instead, her eyes focused on the upside down V that was created by the equipment. Within the open area there was nothing. No heartbeat. No peanut shaped shadow. No hint of a life growing inside of her.

The thoughts made Anessa gasp once, drawing both Zac and Dr. James's attention.

Zac immediately leaned his head down beside hers. "Are you okay, Sweetheart?" he kissed her cheek where the wet trail was moving.

"There's just…there's nothing there, is there?" she asked in a hushed, restrained voice.

The doctor looked toward them both and then back at the screen, moving the wand slowly over Anessa's abdomen. She shook her head sadly as she turned again to address them. "I'm sorry," her face held a genuine apology. "I don't see any indications that there was a pregnancy."

The room went silent again except for the hum of the machinery. Anessa continued to stay still as the doctor moved the wand first to the left side and then to the right, making quiet comments to the other woman in the small room.

As she finished the exam, Dr. James took a towel and wiped the gel off of Anessa's stomach. She watched as Zac ran his hand over the young woman's cheek and used his thumb to wipe away a few tears that had pooled at the divot near her nose. The doctor placed her hand on Anessa's elbow which was resting just above her belly.

"I'm sorry," she offered sincerely. "If it's any consolation at all, everything looks completely normal. From your blood work and the ultrasound and your medical history, I don't see anything that would keep you from becoming pregnant. I'd say your body was just playing a cruel trick on you. Circumstances sometimes can really make your bodily systems believe there is a pregnancy. In your case, as difficult as this is, I can assure you that it's best that you're finding out early on. Some women wait until –what would be – their second trimester, believe it or not. I know this is all hard to understand and hard to accept, but when you wait that long there is a real emotional and mental attachment to a child that doesn't exist."

Anessa and Zac listened intently as the doctor spoke. Each took shallow but cleansing breaths and tried to accept what the experienced woman was saying. Still neither said a word.

"With such a clear ultrasound I think we can cancel the d.n.c. That's one less bit of stress you'll have to endure. I saw no sign of scarring or any sort of tissue damage. You appear to be very healthy."

Anessa cleared her throat and then pulled her gown together a little more over her chest. "So what happens next, then?"

Doctor James smiled at them with a look only a mother could give. "You get dressed. I've got some pamphlets that I want you both to look over. They are regarding miscarriages and just more about what happens to your body when you're trying to get pregnant, and when a pregnancy does happen. I'll leave those for you at check-out. And, it's completely normal to feel down about this over the next few days or weeks. But if you," she pointed specifically at Zac, "notice that she isn't getting back to herself…if depression is an issue, then call me. I'll put you in touch with a counselor who can help you…both of you, okay?"

The young couple nodded. Zac added a quick 'thank you' to his agreement as the doctor and nurse made their way to the door.

"Anessa, let me see you again in a couple of months, okay. Especially if you're continuing on with your birth control, or if you decide to stop the birth control… either way, I want to check in with you. Two months." The doctor's tone was firm but reassuring.

Anessa nodded and watched her leave the room. She looked at Zac with questioning eyes before moving past him and grabbing her shirt. For this wardrobe change she moved to the curtained area of the room and pulled it slightly around to hide herself from his view.

"So, what now?" she asked when the curtain separated them. Her deeper tone was the first thing to hit Zac's heart.

He noticed the subtle change. He wasn't going to intrude but he decided in that moment that he wouldn't let her pull away from him either.

"We go back to my place and just...I don't know, just be together. We'll lay down on the couch, or in the bed and just fall asleep in each other's arms. I have nowhere to be and neither do you. Anything else can wait," he stated matter-of-factly.

When Anessa didn't answer he simply waited. He heard the quiet tears behind the curtain but stayed back to let her have her moment. The curtain rustling slightly was his indication that she was dressed and beginning to settle herself.

He watched her push the divider out of the way and she stepped toward him with reddened eyes and a hurting glaze.

"Can I tell you something?" She asked in a whisper.

"Absolutely," he reached for her hands and pulled her toward his side.

"I wanted to see a little heartbeat on that screen. I had started to accept the idea that I was pregnant. I wanted to be pregnant," she admitted with only a slight hesitation.

"I know," Zac breathed and held her hand tightly, "I wanted that, too," he added. "You know why?"

She chanced looking up into his blue eyes as they approached the door. Before she could reach out to open it Zac pulled her into a hug and bent down purposefully to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"Because I love you."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	13. Because You Love Me

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 12 – Because You Love Me**

The ride home was quiet. Other than Zac asking if she was 'alright' and numerous 'I love you's', very little was said. Once back at Zac's house it was almost as if they'd traveled backwards about two weeks to the time when Anessa only wanted to be at his home for the safe feeling.

Zac allowed her withdrawal without putting up any arguments or pushing. He remembered vividly what Dr. James had said about feelings of depression. Zac had seen Anessa through a couple of other intensely 'down' times of her young adult life. He hoped and prayed that he could do it again.

He left the television off. He stayed off the computer, choosing to sit down on the couch – out in the open space – and look through the mail, a couple of scripts he had received, and a book that he had been reading for the past month. He just wanted to be in a place where she could find him if she needed to. The fact that she had gone back into the guest room and closed the door behind her didn't surprise him. But he made a mental note that he didn't have to take the same action.

She was hurt, that was obvious. Her tough outer shell had been cracked weeks ago. The vulnerable Anessa that few people knew had already begun to leak out. And between the chaos, and confusion, that part of her was being raked over the coals again. Zac wanted to be there for her, not make it worse.

Still, there was a part of him that was joyful that there was no baby. It was as if God was truly giving them a second chance together, to make a life and family together without the stress of a blended family right off the bat. As warm as that feeling made him, the thought of sharing it with Anessa poured ice cold water all over him. Now wasn't the time, nor was she in any mood for him to present a zealous hope for their future together.

He took a deep breath and looked around the room, moving his eyes off the typewritten page for a few seconds. Zac smiled to himself and laughed silently. He'd been staring at the same page for fifteen minutes and still had no clue what it said. His mind wasn't on any of the paperwork or reading material sitting near him. He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. His mind was in the guest room with the beautiful woman who was lying in the bed rubbing a still-shaking hand over her belly and crying over the mistaken opportunity and the two men whose lives she had turned upside down.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

_I need to tell Acer._ Her mind circled with different thoughts revolving that one fact. Was she back to square one in her relationship status? She had told Zac that she loved him and wanted nothing more than to be with him – but was it fair to Acer to drop him because of one mistake?

_Do I still love Acer? Did I ever? Is my love for Zac as strong as his is for me? I can't use him or lead him on. He means too much to me._ She pulled at the shirt over her stomach and let her hand press against the skin. _This shouldn't be complicated. It should be less complicated now. There's no baby. I ran to Zac because I trusted him and because I love him. Or was it because I wanted to get away from everyone and everything that was happening? Now… now what?_

She rolled onto her back and put her hand over her eyes feeling stray tears sliding down each side of her face onto the pillows. _Now? _For now she didn't want to move off the bed. She didn't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere or face any choices or anything that required actually thinking. _Shouldn't I be relieved that I'm not pregnant? I have more premiere appearances to make, another project to film in just a few weeks, meetings with my agent and marketing team… _Her mind span again and she willed every thought about everything to just leave her alone for a few minutes at least.

Anessa lifted her hands weakly and pressed fingers to her temples, circling, mindlessly applying outward pressure to ease the inward ones. Miraculously, she decided, she felt a calm sense run through her. Her tears stopped and for a few moments all she could think about was the feeling of her own fingers against her head.

"_God?" _she whispered against the shadows that were beginning to make the room dark. _"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling now, or what I'm supposed to do. I need help getting back into my life as it was – if that's what I'm supposed to do. That's the thing though…I feel like I SHOULD know what I'm supposed to do, but I just can't. Acer's on my mind…but Zac's in my heart...I think..."_ Her words ended with that thought as she heard the phone ring somewhere in the house.

She listened for Zac's voice or any indication that he was still there. She had followed him into the kitchen from the garage when they arrived after the ultrasound. He had tossed his keys onto the counter and then turned around and immediately pulled her into a loving embrace. There were no ulterior motives behind his hug. He had given her no reason to believe that he wanted anything more than to comfort her. And yet, when she wriggled free from his hold she had given him just a sad smile and a gentle request.

"_I just kind of want to be alone for a little bit, okay?"_ Anessa stared at his cheek, avoiding his caring eyes.

"_Okay, whatever you need, I'll be right here. I love you," _Zac had offered.

Without a response other than a slight nod, she turned and walked to the guest bedroom. Zac hadn't made a move to come after her or insisted on a response to his endearing words.

Now she heard his voice speaking, apparently into the phone. She couldn't make out the words he was saying and had no clue who he was talking to. It didn't matter, really. The only thing that did matter was the slight bit of comfort she felt, hearing his easy, tenor tone just feet away from her. He was still there. He hadn't left. He hadn't come into the room or pushed her for anything in that small span of time. But he was still there. _That has to count for something, right? _

Her shoulders relaxed and she let out a cleansing breath. It had to count.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

"Hey, Lyza," Zac's voice was gentle, but slightly graveled - a point that his female friend picked up on immediately.

"_Hey, Yourself, Stranger. I – I haven't heard from you in a bit, since…well, you know, since …"_ Lyza hesitated to say Anessa's name. It had taken her nearly the entire month to find the courage to call Zac to check in on him.

He had left a couple of messages for her a few days after Ani's appearance at his house. But those simply said Anessa was working through some things and he was trying to help her. His friendly voice had given no indication of the true situation with his ex-girlfriend.

Lyza had pushed beyond her jealousy and nerves as well as any woman possibly could, given the situation. However she was ready to know more about Zac's involvement and exactly what was going on. With two glasses of wine and a stronger bout of confidence, she had decided to call.

"…since the night Ani got here," Zac supplied the end of her struggling sentence.

"_Yeah," _Lyza let out a slightly frustrated breath but then took in another along with a sip of glass number three. _"So,"_ she began again, _"How are things going?" _She tried to sound supportive and yet less than immensely curious.

"Meaning?" Zac caught her words and intonation along with the breathing pattern that hinted toward her reasons for calling.

"_Meaning…"_ she sighed slightly, _"I haven't heard from you and I figured it's because you're still involved with A-Anessa,"_ she answered.

"Ly," Zac sympathized.

"_I'm sorry, Zac. I don't want to be nosey. I don't want to push. But don't I deserve to know something?" _Her voice grew slightly stronger with the warmth from another sip of the alcohol.

"Lyza?" Zac wrinkled his nose at this beginning of a conversation. "What is it you need to know?" He kept his tone gentle and thought about the information that he didn't need to divulge on Anessa's behalf.

"_Uh," _she hesitated, _"Quite simply, are you back with Anessa?" _she finally blurted like a teenager.

Zac looked toward the guest bedroom door. Had Lyza called yesterday he would've done his best to ease into a confident answer of 'Yes'. Now, however, that secure, strong answer was wavering. Was Anessa still at his house? Yes. But were they back together?

"That's a good question, Ly. At this moment in time, I'm not sure." Zac dropped haphazardly to the seat on the couch thinking about the woman on the phone who appeared to care more about his relationship status than he wanted to admit.

On the other end of the phone Lyza sat up a bit straighter, ready to press forward with a few more questions, since his first answer was 'iffy', at best. _"Are you still…helping her?" _She questioned.

Zac closed his eyes thinking over the past few hours of the day. "Yes," he nodded as he answered. "And for now, at least, she's still here at my house." Before she could question more, Zac continued, "Ly, I can't really go into details, okay? I'm sorry. It's just – I'm helping a friend. I really don't know if this will result in anything more for us – Anessa and I, I mean – or not. But I need to be here for her right now. If that upsets you, I'm sorry, but it won't change what I need to do."

Lyza closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting his words actually penetrate her slightly-inebriated mind._ "I understand, Zac. And I apologize if I'm sounding like a complete ass. I don't mean to. I really am just worried about you and wondered how you were doing."_

Zac's shoulders eased. He could talk to Lyza like this – Lyza, his other 'friend'.

Following the rest of his half hour phone conversation Zac had watched Anessa cross the hall into the bathroom and then caught her eye as she headed back to her self-imposed solitary confinement. He wondered if she had overheard any of his chat with Lyza.

He hadn't said anything to give away what was actually going on. In his thoughtful way, Zac had confided to Lyza that Anessa needed him and he wouldn't walk away from that. And, as the thoughtful friend that she was, Lyza accepted his answer and simply asked if they could go out to dinner again sometime soon.

It was an offer that Zac was willing to accept. Something inside of him told him he might need it. He stared out at the waning sunlight after hanging up the phone and heard the bedroom door open. The look Anessa had given him on her return across the carpet was sad, tired and practically aching. Whatever more was troubling her, Zac only knew that he either needed to help Anessa or – if she ultimately turned to Acer or someone else – he would need Lyza's shoulder to cry on.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Zac was nearly asleep when he felt the bed dip on the opposite side. He had left the bedroom door open on purpose – for this purpose. He shifted from his position on his left side onto his back and turned his head just as Anessa pulled the covers over her.

"You okay?" He asked quietly into the darkness.

Anessa shrugged her shoulders knowing he couldn't see the motion but without the emotional strength to say anything. She was a bit startled when she felt his warm hand touch her shoulder.

"Ani?" His voice spoke again and she raised her shoulder enough for him to feel it and enough for her to lean her cheek over and brush against his hand.

"Come here, Baby," Zac nudged his hand under her neck until he could wrap around her other shoulder and pull her towards him. He noticed the little bit of resistance but continued until she gave in and let him wrap her in an embrace. "What can I do?" He wondered with a whispering kiss against her hair.

Anessa moved around slightly grasping his forearm with both of her hands. She pulled his arm a little tighter against her body and held on as she took a deep breath. "I'm more confused now than I was when I came here, I think," she finally admitted.

Zac tensed and waited for any other explanation she might give. After a few moments of silence he brushed his lips against her head and let out a shaky breath. "You know I'll do whatever you want me to. Name it, Ani. I'll do whatever I can to make this better for you."

"I know," she squeaked slightly as she spoke, a testament of the tears that had been cried and ones that were still on the verge of falling. "I just… I love you, Zac. I know I love you and I don't want to hurt you – again," her voice cracked at that one word.

Zac's muscles tightened more and she could hear the noisy breath he was now attempting to take. "But," he edged on hoarsely.

"But – I don't know what to say after that," Anessa twisted slightly, trying to stay in his hold but trying to face him on the mattress. "There's no baby. You have to be _thrilled_ about that," there was no mistaking the touch of sarcasm in her hurting sounds.

"Anessa," Zac's soft but fatherly tone attempted to discipline her thoughts.

"No, I – I didn't mean it like that," she continued with little additional strength. "I knew not to say it like that…I just…" she stopped mid-sentence and pressed her forehead against the base of his neck, feeling his Adam's apple nudge her head when he swallowed.

His next breath was followed by muscles relaxing and a gentle hand stroking against her back. "Ani, I love you. I've told you that and I will continue telling you that. Acer's baby, my baby, no baby... I - love - you. That's not going to change. This won't sound right either but you need to know…" he hesitated as he thought about his words and whether or not they would have a positive effect on her; or if she would even hear them in her current state of mind.

"You have decisions to make; people you need to talk to, things that I _know_ aren't my business. And I can't make those decisions for you. But you can stay here as long as you want. I'll try to help you if you want me to. And no matter _what_ decisions you make, I'll still be here and I'll still love you."

In the moment he wanted desperately to make every decision for her and create an environment that wouldn't require her to lift a finger or worry about anything. He wanted nothing more than to lift her chin so their lips could meet and kiss her the way he felt she needed – gently, lovingly. But Zac also knew a move like that would just add to her confusion and negate every word he had just said to her.

So instead of kissing her he kept his arms wrapped around her and let her confused, aching teardrops fall against his chest.

"What if," Anessa whispered through her quiet tears, "what if my decisions take me away from you again?" She pressed her lips together and tried to hold back the tear-infested breaths she was straining to hide.

Zac squeezed her body against his and swallowed roughly. "Do you mean for work; or for your relationship with Acer?"

Anessa was quiet. She knew she was doing exactly what she didn't want to do – hurting him. "I don't know what I mean right now," she tucked the tip of her thumb between her lips and pressed her cheek against his chest. "I don't know what I want, Zac. I don't know what I need…" She stopped long enough to catch the sound of his heart beating and then sucked on her thumbnail to try and calm her thoughts.

She felt his hands massaging her arms, holding her close and giving her gentle reassurance. She heard his breath as it evened out and felt the air from his nose as it blew across her hair in the darkness.

After a few minutes she moved her hand down and stretched her fingers and palm enough to touch a width of his chest. "Was that Lyza who called earlier?" she moved her hand gently to take in the contours of his muscles over his ribs.

Zac nodded against her head but didn't say anything.

"She's upset that I'm still here, isn't she?" Anessa rubbed her face against his pectoral. "I don't blame her, you know?" She continued. "She seems very genuine, down to earth."

Zac took in a breath but stopped short of filling his lungs. "She's become a good friend. But I didn't tell her anything about the baby or you and Acer – other than the fact that you're still here and I'm here for you," he somewhat declared, trying to put an end to her change of topic.

"Ok," Anessa shrank back slightly. "I just – I don't want to be in her way…in your way of being with her, I mean. I'm sorry if I messed that up."

"Ani, stop it," Zac squeezed her arms and then pushed her to make space between them. "You didn't come in here to talk about me and Lyza. You came in here exhausted from the roller coaster you've been on for the past few weeks and torn up because of your feelings for me _and_ for Acer. That's one of those decisions that _you_ have to make." He paused for a moment and took several more shallow breaths.

"Whatever you decide, Anessa, I love you. I always will. I've tried to make that clear and I'll try not to push you or pressure you. You're going through hell. I _don't_ understand it. I can't understand it. I'm not in love with Lyza the way I love you…or… the way - I imagine - you love Acer. You have to make that choice. Just know that either way, I'll still love you."

She could hear the subtle nuances in his voice. The hurt, the anger, the frustration…the love and care; it was all there in those few sentences. It added to the confusion of her heart but one thing appeared completely clear in the moment.

Anessa reached out and ran her hand down his arm until she could link their fingers. She took his limp hand and raised it to her still-damp cheek. She moved it next to her lips where she placed soft kisses against his knuckles. "You know how you can help me right now, don't you?" Her voice whispered tentatively. "Take my mind off everything else, Zac. Show me how much you want me to really be yours again."

Her quiet plea didn't confuse him. Zac closed his eyes and pressed his lips together; the fear and confusion in her tone ringing through his mind. "Anessa, don't," he spoke quietly but with authority.

"But if you love me…I need you, Zac. I need you to show me how much you love me," her tiniest voice reached his ears, drawing his eyelids down to try and keep control of the situation that was threatening to develop.

Anessa moved and pressed herself against him until their lips touched. She slowly wrapped her free arm around his neck and urged him to accept her request.

While his heart and body enjoyed the moment she was trying to share with him, Zac's head knew better. He let the kiss continue; let her run her fingers through his hair for just a few minutes. But before she could take things further he pulled away and took a much deeper breath.

"_Because_ I love you, we can't do this. I won't do this. You know that." He shook his head and found a way to look into her eyes, using just the sliver of moonlight trailing into the room. "You need time, Anessa. You need to talk to Acer. And, maybe going to a counselor would help. Give yourself time to figure things out. Your world must be spinning off its axis and this time...Baby, this time I don't know if I can help slow it down or not. I'll be here. You can stay here if you want. But we can't do _this_, Anessa, until you know, for sure, what you want and what you need. Okay?"

The disappointed brown eyes quickly looked down, ashamed of her attempt, and tried to turn away from him. The pain that shot through Zac's heart nearly mirrored what he had gone through during the ultrasound; delight and disappointment all rolled into one.

As she rolled to her side to avoid his watching eyes Zac wrapped his arm around her. "I didn't say you needed to leave my bed. Just let me hold you again, please?" He asked as he held her wilted form.

"You can hold me, but you can't make love to me?" She asked with a soft, dejected voice.

"Making love isn't the only way I can show you that I love you. Now, let me hold you and try to go to sleep. You need to rest. Dr. James said so." His arms held her close to him and after just a moment of resistance she let her head relax onto the pillow and allowed herself to find comfort in his embrace.

The two laid silently, finding comfort in the embrace of their bodies sharing a common warmth. A soft hum across her lips signaled Zac that she was, in fact, taking his advice. Her head lolled back against his shoulder, allowing him to graze his lips against her forehead.

"I won't give you up easily, Anessa Hart. I won't pressure you, it's your decision but I won't give up easily – unless you tell me to." He brushed his lips over her soft skin once more. "You know why, don't you?" He asked with every intention of repeating the words to her.

"Hmmm," her voice interrupted his, "Because you love me." Her eyelashes fluttered slightly but never opened.

Zac held her tightly and shut his own eyes with a bit of relief flowing through him. "That's right, Baby. Don't ever forget that."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	14. Heart of the Matter

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 13 – Heart of the Matter**

Anessa pulled her car quickly into the garage and glanced across the seat at her mother. She was happy that the nosey paparazzi had not caught her leaving Zac's home but now was even more uncertain about her decision to return to her own house.

"They'll nail Acer before he even gets out of his car," her tired face showed Jeana just how emotionally drained Anessa was.

"Acer's a strong man. He can fend for himself. Doesn't he have your spare garage door opener?" Jeana wondered with what she hoped was a concerned voice.

Anessa nodded at her mom, took a deep breath and opened the door. It had been three days since the ultrasound. Three days that were filled with waking hours of simply trying to clear her mind, make up her mind, and somehow get in touch with her heart – which had apparently been left in the obstetrician's office.

She had spoken to her mother briefly to say only that there was no baby and that she was going to stay with Zac for a little longer. Jeana was still waiting for an explanation. The older woman figured she would get more details when Anessa called and asked Jeana to join her, back at her own home, for the first time in weeks.

There had been little said on the short drive between Jeana and Greg's home and Anessa's. There was nothing other than a 'hello' between the two, a shared, sad, kiss between mother and daughter, and some expletives when the cameraman appeared in a vehicle behind them. Still, Jeana was concerned, yet proud, that Anessa had stayed calm and almost passive regarding the man who was now snapping copious pictures of the closing garage door.

When the door shut completely Anessa opened her latch and slid out, slowly moving to the trunk to pull out her small suitcase. Jeana also got out of the car then stood and watched as Anessa weakly dragged the luggage toward the utility room door. Both remained quiet as they made their way into the house. Anessa left her case by the washing machine and led her mother through to the living room where they both sat down on the couch.

"We went for the ultrasound," Anessa started right in with just a glance in Jeana's direction. "First I had to go do the blood test, actually, then back to Dr. James's office." She looked up only to see Jeana nodding gently, anxiously waiting to hear more.

"She said the blood test indicated that I wasn't pregnant," Anessa shrugged one shoulder and pressed her lips together as tears clouded her brown eyes. After a short sniffle she continued, "So, we went ahead with the ultrasound and, sure enough, no baby." Her eyes were unblinking, staring stationary at nothing in particular.

Jeana could hear the hurt in her daughter's quiet voice. She could see the ache in her eyes and feel the wall that Anessa was trying to build around herself.

"But there was a positive test... You took a test here at home that said you were pregnant," Jeana tried to keep her voice even and yet understand the conflicting test results just as Ani and Zac had had to do.

"Yes," Anessa nodded blindly, "But she said there were a lot of factors that could've played a part in that. Stress, adrenaline, the missed birth control shot, the unprotected sex with Ace, hormones…" her lips pinched in a practical snarl, "Whatever," she pushed out a hurried breath and shrugged both shoulders quickly, "There's not a baby. No miscarriage, no polyps, no dead tissue, nada. No. Baby."

Jeana held back with this new information. Watching her daughter's behavior, it was evident that Anessa wasn't happy about it. Yet she knew there had to be a part of Ani that was relieved. Jeana decided quickly to try and be a counselor of sorts. And, she realized another reason that Anessa had called on her today; Acer would be getting this same news in just another couple of hours. Short of having Zac by Anessa's side, Jeana would play the role of mediator, comforter and mother for both of the young people living through this afternoon.

Anessa's mother took in a deep breath and reached out toward her daughter with a comforting hand. She took Anessa's fingers in hers and squeezed them gently as she tilted her head to look at the young woman beside her. "You…you and Zac," she ventured with only a slim, unsure smile on her face, "You had prepared yourself for a baby. I mean, you accomplished what you set out to do after you called me – after you took the home test. You went to Zac's and he helped you clear your head and really think about what was going on. And he helped you face the fact…"

"The fact that I thought I was pregnant?" Anessa pulled her hand slowly from Gina's and used just an ounce of strength to rub that hand across her forehead, pushing at the slight stress-headache that had formed the day after her doctor's appointment.

"Yeah," Jeana nodded. "You were back on your feet enough to think straight and go to the doctor. And then you got thrown off track again. I'm sorry, Sweetheart." Jeana scooted closer to Anessa on the couch and wrapped her arms around her daughter before Ani could protest.

"Mama, I'm just so confused now," Anessa breathed wearily against Jeana's shoulder. The tears in her eyes wouldn't fall but they pooled enough to seep through Jeana's thin top when Ani buried her face against it. "Zac, Acer, a baby, no baby, a career, a family… who do I love and what do I want?" Anessa let her thoughts stumble out in the comfort of her mother's arms.

Jeana tightened her hold on her baby girl. The thoughts forming in her mind were ones that would have to stay silent for the time being. She wanted to answer Ani's questions for her, but then Jeana's answers wouldn't be Ani's decisions. She stroked Anessa's back, shushed her quiet misgivings and sat there holding her.

For a young lady with a multi-million dollar home and several more millions in the bank, it would take a lot more to decide where her life needed to go; and yet no amount of money, Jeana knew, could make that decision an easy one.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

The early morning wakeup call wasn't what Acer had expected. His mind had been clouded for nearly a week by his meeting with Anessa. On the nights he had managed to get to sleep the conversations played out as nightmares. Not to mention nearly every waking moment had been filled with the thought of Anessa carrying his child.

At least twice he had found himself in front of her house, knowing she wasn't there, wondering if he could just go inside and lay down for a few minutes. The idea of feeling near her gave him a hint of comfort. But he never got out of the car.

One morning he had even gotten up the nerve to confront her at Zac's house. He had pushed the button on the security box at the base of the driveway and stared at the gate at the top of the hill. The younger man had fully expected a groggy, but irate, Zac to verbally attack him. Instead there had been no answer to his repeated buzzes. After 15 minutes of speaking to no one he gave up and went back home.

He ran a towel through his hair as he stepped out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror. Ani had finally contacted him this morning with another request 'to talk'. He tried to recall her voice pattern, her tone, the inflection of her words in the short phone call. As much as he had wanted to be angry with her; as much as he wanted to demand that his child deserved to have its father in its life from the very beginning; as much as he wanted to be the take-charge type of significant other, he had melted at the sight of her number on his caller-id.

"_Ani?" _His voice had cracked like a pubescent school boy.

"_Yeah, Ace, it's me,"_ her voice was deep. But was that her emotions, the early hour, or exhaustion speaking to him?

"_How – how are you? Can I see you, Ani, please?" _Acer knew he had practically begged.

"_Ace, don't, please…" _she had stopped to make sure he was listening to her. _"I do need…" _her voice had softened, _"I need to talk to you, Acer. I'll be at my place around lunch time. Mom and I…"_ She hesitated slightly in her invitation but knew she had to make it. _"Can you come by? I – I'm sorry for the short notice but we need to talk. I –" _her breath caught in her throat with the truthfulness, or lack of it, in her thought. _"Face to face, I do need to see you, please."_

He closed his eyes again remembering the short moments. It didn't matter that she was probably calling him from Zac's house. It didn't matter that her mother would probably be sitting right by her side. It didn't matter that the reason they needed to talk could be the final breakup that Acer was fully expecting. All that mattered in his mind was that she needed to see him and that gave Acer Roberts more hope than he had had for more than a month.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Zac sat on the side of the bed staring at the floor. His thoughts wouldn't focus, his mind was ten minutes away at another house, and the only thing that kept replaying in his mind was the soft touch of her fingers brushing back some hair from his eyes and the kiss on his cheek.

He knew the night before that she had decided to talk to Jeana and fill her in on the situation. And he knew that she had chosen this day to talk with Acer as well. He had chewed on that knowledge all night long. It was a decision he had encouraged. The _boy_ deserved to know Ani wasn't pregnant and he deserved to hear that news in person.

However, Zac had thought, perhaps, that the three of them could meet somewhere and Anessa could give Acer this news while Zac had a firm arm attached around her shoulders or waist with the hope that Acer would get the hint and decide to 'move on'.

Instead, before he even thought about waking up, Anessa had been up, showered, and made two phone calls completely on her own. His sleepy eyes had recognized her sitting on the bed beside him, running her fingers through his hair.

"_Zac? I'm gonna go pick up mom. We're going over to my place for a while so I can tell her what happened. And," _her voice paused, _"and Acer's coming over in a few hours, too. Don't worry. Mom will be there with me. I'll be fine, okay? I just…I need to see Acer and talk to him."_

Her words had left Zac scared and speechless. She may not have known it by the way he was acting, but Zac was wide awake. The thought of her going back to her house and seeing Acer there; it was a jolt that woke him and put him into a fearful shock at the same time.

As soon as she left the house Zac sat up on the side of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. The meeting with Acer could go any number of ways. The fact that Ani had woken and come to this decision on her own was a good sign, he thought. It meant that she was beginning to make her way out of the cloudiness and looking toward getting her feet back on the ground, stable, underneath her.

Of course it also meant that everything he had said to Acer Roberts in their one and only face to face meeting could be null and void. If Ani chose to go back to him…

That was the single reason he despised that stability. That ability and maturity that both he and Anessa had gained in their years together was ultimately what sent them in different directions. Even if they had both wanted the other's opinions on projects, and plans for the future, they also wanted to be able to make their own decisions. Thus, the separation came, to prove how independent they each could be.

He thought for a moment. He leaned his head in his hands, closed his eyes and sat there with the covers balled around him wondering about that independence. Ani's presence over the past couple of weeks had given him a feeling of life that he hadn't had in nearly two years. Sure he had friends, he had dates and Lyza was a potential romantic interest. But no one had given him the sense of responsibility, care and actual living like Anessa did.

He loved being able to make his own decisions and living his own life. But what did those decisions mean if he couldn't bring them home to someone who made him feel alive and gave him the reasons to continue the work that he loved. Were his independence and _his_ choices worth the empty feeling that would invade his heart again if Anessa left him alone … again?

Zac glanced over his shoulder at the opposite, empty side of the bed. She had pulled the sheet and comforter up to make it look like she hadn't slept there the night before. He stared at the slight indentation on the pillow where her head had rested after moving from his shoulder.

Yes, he was glad that she had made her own decision to talk to Jeana and to see Acer. But could he take whatever came next?

"_I'm not sure I can do this again, Anessa. I'm not sure I can let you go again. Look at me. I'm already aching and I don't even know what you're thinking. Please don't go back to him, Ani. Please come back to me and let me show you that we can be independent, but still together. Making our own decisions doesn't mean that we have to make them from separate places in the world. Please come back to me."_

He closed his eyes and let the tears drip down the skin of his cheek. He blinked a few times and then leaned his head back to look upward. "I don't know if I can let her go again, God. Please send her back to me, please."

The silence of the room only added to his empty feeling. Zac glanced at the picture of himself with Anessa that sat on the dresser. It had moved in and out of his bedroom after their breakup but had never truly been put away. Before the ultrasound he had moved it back into the room he was seemingly sharing once more _with _Anessa.

He finally pulled himself from the bed and walked to the dresser to pick up the framed photograph. _"This is the way we should be, Ani. This is where this picture needs to be. Us…together…it's just…right."_

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Anessa pulled away from her mother and sat for a moment with her hands in her lap. She took several deep breaths while Jeana watched her closely. Then her mother patted the back of Anessa's hand and looked into her eyes.

"You brought your suitcase back. Does that mean you're coming back home?" Jeana noticed a lack of any facial expression change on her daughter's tired face.

"I'm not sure," Anessa swallowed as she finished her short thought. "I probably should. I know Zac has meetings coming up and places to go. He doesn't need me under-foot tripping him up," she somewhat mumbled.

"I highly doubt he sees it that way, Ani," Jeana smiled and lifted her hand to touch Anessa's cheek. "That young man loves you; and you know it," she began before Anessa opened her mouth to speak, too.

"I know," her voice sounded a touch stronger, "he loves me enough that he was willing take me back along with a baby that wasn't even his. That's part of what I'm struggling with, Mom. Zac loves me _that_ much… But I'm just not sure I can love him back at that same level." Her voice lost its strength again with her last sentence, as though she really didn't want to share the thought out loud.

Jeana moved her hand away from Anessa's face and scooted just a few inches farther from her on the couch. She tilted her head to observe Ani's body language and to try and understand what her daughter was saying.

"Are you telling me that you don't love Zac?" Jeana's eyebrows creased together and her muscles tightened with the uncertainty coming from her Anessa's mind and heart.

"No," she answered with a sad shake of her head. "That's not what I'm saying at all. But trying to put myself in his shoes… I don't know. If he came to my home and told me that Lyza was pregnant but he was going to raise the baby… Could I willingly – _would I _– open my arms and take him back in and say 'Let me be the baby's mother'? Could I love him enough and not hold that over his head. Could I just love him and let him back into my life?"

Anessa stared at Jeana, shaking her head for just a moment. She glanced down at her hands, now shaking slightly at the emotions running through her, and then back at her mother. After a deep breath her wide eyes glistened slightly. "Could I?" She asked with a slight, uncertain shrug of her shoulders.

Jeana sat still and quiet. Again she couldn't answer Ani's questions. Her daughter's body and heart and mind were pulling her in different directions. The older woman was unsure of what to say to try to get the younger's thoughts back on track. So she turned the question back to Ani. "You have to make that decision, Ani. It's in your heart. If we're talking about Zac, here; the same man who stole your heart years ago. What do you think? _Could_ you take him back if the tables were turned? _Would_ you? Forget turning the tables, Ani. The baby part...it's not a factor now. I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but it's not. The real question is, do you love Zac enough to go back to him; to take him back – period?"

The two women stared at each other for a few long minutes before both took deep breaths. They weren't in an argument. Whatever answer Jeana might give to those questions didn't necessarily reflect Anessa's heartfelt thoughts. And, Jeana didn't want to pressure the young lady.

After all, when this situation came to a close and all parties involved found a way to move forward, Anessa might choose to be single and spend some time without a significant other, a lover, or even a boyfriend.

"I'm going to put a load of laundry in and pull my suitcase upstairs," Anessa finally smacked her hands lightly against her thighs. She pushed herself up off the couch and headed toward the laundry room as Jeana watched.

"What time are you expecting Acer?" Jeana went along with the subject change and asked the seemingly innocent question.

Anessa's steps slowed as she remembered why she was back at her house on this morning. "I'm not sure," she answered over her shoulder. "I'm guessing he'll be early rather than late and I think I mentioned lunchtime on the phone." She took a couple more steps and then stopped. "I think I've got a frozen pizza in the freezer, Mom. Would you mind putting that in to bake?"

Jeana shifted on the couch and nodded. "Sure, Honey. Is there anything else you need me to do?"

Anessa shook her head with a simple, "No Ma'am. Thank you," as she headed back to the job at hand.

Her mother made her way into the kitchen and began shuffling pans in the cabinet to uncover the pizza stone. She thought about Zac, Anessa and Acer as the pans banged against each other.

One thing stood out in her mind and she hoped it reached to Anessa's heart. Her daughter seemed far more worried about the love she had for the previous man in her life. Compared to her feelings for the younger man who would soon be at this house, Anessa appeared to be more concerned about the warmth and care that she had received over the past few weeks – and how she might repay the person who still loved her more than she could comprehend.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	15. Resolved Hearts

**Ready Or Not – Chapter 14 – Resolved Hearts**

Acer blew out a slow breath as he turned his car onto the street and noticed the various cars parked just beyond Anessa's home. He had hoped, perhaps, that the area would be empty – more for Anessa's sake than his. The paparazzi presence just created one more decision that the young actor needed to make.

He didn't want to barge in on Anessa. After days of anger, careful thought, an impromptu, unwanted meeting with the other man in her life and then a desperate search for maturity beyond his age, Acer had truly come to realize why Anessa was upset with him.

He knew, in talking to Zac Alexander, that Anessa's life was on the line. Acer knew, from Anessa's withdrawal from him after the awards night lie, that adult relationships rely on trust and responsibility. The news of Anessa's pregnancy catapulted him out of the realm of carefree, college-aged, fan-craving popularity into a nearly parental desire to make the world right for the people he loved – Anessa and his child.

Her livelihood was at stake. Because of one mistake _he_ had made, Anessa's life was going to change. Over time, the change would likely be accepted, accommodated and even loved. But it wasn't a change she wanted right now. She didn't want a baby any more than he did.

The news of her pregnancy, followed by the meeting with Zac, prior to the doctor's appointment, had been a turning point for Acer Roberts. He realized, upon leaving the bistro that he had, in fact, reached adulthood. And, if he had fallen in love with Anessa, then he needed to accept that fact and follow up with sincere words and a heartfelt plea to let him be the baby's father.

The initial meeting with Anessa in the park and the frustrating, yet informative one with Zac, let him know that neither of _them_ believed he was ready to be a father. It had dawned on him just hours later that Ani's heart was back in Zac's possession and without a real effort fromhim, Acer, the child she was carrying would be raised by the other man that she loved.

Today was his chance to turn that around. Now his heart was torn between clicking the garage door opener that was attached to his sun visor and parking in the open to make his way to Anessa's front steps, in plain view of the camera-carriers sitting in those other cars. It really didn't matter. Whether he attempted to shield himself by using the garage, or marched right up the front steps in full view; they knew he was here.

Acer turned slowly onto the steep driveway and pushed the opener. He watched as the heavy wooden passageway lifted into the ceiling revealing two of Anessa's vehicles parked in the garage. He slid into the far right side of the immense area and immediately clicked the button again to close the door. He was amazed at how quickly the men had jumped from their cars and snapped what was probably hundreds of pictures of him arriving at Ani's home.

He sat for another moment, collecting his thoughts before leaving his vehicle and walking slowly toward the utility room door. He could hear the washing machine running inside the room. Knocking on this door would do no good. He had no idea if Anessa or Jeana had seen him make his way into the garage. So he took a chance and turned the knob to step back into the house which was more than familiar to him now.

The butterflies in his stomach fluttered furiously as he moved toward the kitchen, carrying only a small shopping bag with a few items inside. Acer nervously pushed open the door to the kitchen.

"Anessa? Ani? Mrs. Hart? It's me, Acer. I hope I'm not too early," he spoke into the quiet air and then waited.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Anessa had watched his car nose its way up the steep entrance to her garage. She had heard the door open and was grateful that Acer had chosen to use that more discrete way of returning.

For a moment she wanted to run down the stairs and meet him at the kitchen door. She took a quick, surprised breath at the feelings that touched her deep inside – the ones that wanted to have Acer's arms wrapped around her again and to feel his kisses on her skin.

In that moment her anger at the young man fell away. Lies had been traded; words were said; both were hurt. But her feelings for him _were _real. Today was the turning point for both of them. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and turned away from the window, letting the sheer curtain fall back into place.

She took a deep breath and wandered to the door of her master bedroom and then stepped out into the hallway. She heard him call from the kitchen and smiled. He was caring and concerned, soft-spoken because of the nerves she could hear in his voice. Anessa could feel the change in the air. Although the day was going to be charged with shifting emotions she knew decisions would be made.

Her heart pounded a little harder as she made her way to the stairs and saw him move into the living room. "Ace," she caught his attention and he stopped in his tracks. He looked softly into her eyes and even in that short distance Anessa could feel the invisible strings drawing her toward him.

There was a part of her that did love him. A portion of her heart was Acer's. When she had needed someone to be a friend, a protector and a physical comfort, he had been there. Their relationship wasn't based on the physical, the sex. It _was_ more than that. She could admit that readily now as she watched him standing, trying to find a comfortable way to present himself as her eyes continued to look at him.

For a fleeting moment as she descended the staircase, Zac was in her mind. She looked at Acer while taking cautious steps in her bare feet on the wooden stairs. Ace was more like Zac than she had realized. She smiled to herself. It was like the old adage that claims a girl will fall in love someone like her father – only in this case Anessa had discovered a man with her father's heart and in the wake of separation, she found a second one who also shared Zac's, loving soul.

At the bottom of the stairs the two stared at each other as though they had spent years apart. Acer slid one foot in her direction while Ani lowered her face and chewed on her lip. She wrapped her arms around her belly and took slow steps toward the young man.

"I – I've missed you," she finally raised her face and spoke to him with a soft, childlike voice.

Acer had to close his eyes to keep from crying at her shy words. "I've missed you, too," he spoke through a dry, nearly rasping throat. He took one more step toward Anessa and let her hesitantly place her hands on his waist. "Can I just hold you, please?"

She nodded silently and let her head rest on his chest. Acer wrapped his arms around her petite body and buried his cheek in her hair. "Ani," he whispered after a few seconds standing there on the edge of her living room.

"Shhh," she pressed gently, not moving from their position, holding each other. She did tentatively raise her face to look up at him. Acer felt her warm breath against his cheek and opened his eyes to meet hers. Anessa tiptoed slowly and pressed the most simple of kisses to his lips. When she pressed her heels back to the floor both showed the other soft smiles; a hint at reconciling the hurt.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

"Ani, did I hear… Oh! I'm – I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt…" Jeana stepped into the living room from one of Anessa's spare bedrooms.

Acer quickly loosened his hold on Anessa but noted that she kept her arms around his waist when she turned to look at her mother. Jeana's face held a bit of confusion while she looked back and forth between the young woman and man.

"Mrs. Hart, I'm sorry. I know I should've come through the front door, but the _jerks_ out there with cameras…" Acer worked to explain.

Jeana offered him a smile. "No, Acer, it's fine. I'm glad you were able to avoid them. How are you?"

Acer looked down at Anessa. "I'm okay, right now," he chose his words carefully.

"That's good," Jeana spoke to him but kept her eyes on her daughter. She knew only that Anessa still needed to tell Acer the news about the baby. The embrace in front of her told her that information hadn't been shared, yet. "Can I get you anything? I know you and Ani need to talk. Do you want a drink? We've got a pizza in the oven for lunch."

Jeana tried her best to move from worried and confused mother to simple hostess. Acer went along willingly, grateful for at least a few calm moments and more than pleasantly surprised at Anessa's reaction to him.

When Jeana moved toward the kitchen, Anessa took Acer by the hand and led him to the couch. They both sat down and knitted their fingers together as though they were trying to re-learn the touches that each preferred.

They waited for Jeana to bring them the diet cokes that had been requested and still didn't talk until Anessa's mom had gone up the stairs to the third floor and into a craft room that Anessa had designed.

"This is…nice, Ani," Ace scooted closer to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. "But?"

"But…" Anessa's breath hitched slightly. "But there's a lot that we both need to say and I don't know where to begin."

Acer shifted on the cushions and reached for the small bag he had brought into the house. "Let's start here," he opened the bag and pulled out a tiny yellow garment. He held up the infant sleeper and smiled nervously as he noticed the tears coming quickly into Anessa's eyes.

"The puppy sewn on it reminded me of Sadie. And look," he turned the soft material to show Ani the back where a tiny puppy's tail was crafted. He pressed his lips together and smiled even when Ani took the sleeper from him and held it against her heart.

Her tears were heavier in only a moment and she squeezed her eyes shut to try and manage them. Acer placed his hands on her wet cheeks and tucked one leg underneath his other to reach her forehead with a kiss. "Ani, I love you. I do. And I want to be a father to this baby. Please, please let me."

Anessa coughed quietly trying to ward off more tears. She finally was able to quiet enough of them to gently shake her head. "Ace," she blinked her eyes enough to open them and show him the true hurt from her heart. "There's no baby," she whispered and then held the soft cotton more tightly against her chest.

Acer bent his head. He didn't want to read too much into her shaking head but he certainly didn't understand the words she had said. He tilted his face to try and look more deeply into her eyes. "I don't under-… What do you mean?"

Anessa licked her lips and lifted her hand to wipe away the wetness obstructing her view of him. "Um, there's…no baby," she spoke with a shaking voice and ran fingers through her own hair giving away her round of nerves.

Acer sat back against the couch in a moment of shock. He pulled his hand away from Anessa to wipe over his own face. He squeezed his cheeks with his fingertips and pulled on his chin for a lack of any other action that made sense in that second.

Anessa ducked her head and took a shallow breath. "Zac and I went to the doctor's appointment. I took the blood test and we went for breakfast then went back to talk to the doctor and do the ultrasound."

Acer shook his head waiting for more. "Alright," he mumbled.

Anessa breathed in and out a few more times and then looked up at Acer's face. "The blood test was negative. I'm not pregnant. I wasn't pregnant. It was all," she shrugged one shoulder and fiddled with the cloth of the sleeper that now lay in her lap. "I don't know. I don't get it. But I guess, when I got worked up over _our_ little game and didn't have my shot and having the unprotected…" her voice slid off into a void. "It all apparently confused my body into thinking there was a baby. But there's not."

Her weary eyes returned as she watched Acer sitting there, staring at the floor with his hands clasped together between his knees.

"Um…" she didn't reach out to touch him but wanted to give him the full explanation. "We went ahead with the ultrasound. Dr. James just wanted to make sure I hadn't miscarried or some other issue."

Acer finally took a breath and turned his head toward her. "Other issue?"

Anessa shook her head slightly. There was still concern in his voice, concern apparently for her. "I don't fully understand. But they ruled out everything. The main thing is that I'm not pregnant, and never was." She looked away from Acer, "I'm sorry, Ace. I don't know what else to say. I know this has all been so," she stopped and shook her head, "I've put you through hell and I'm sorry."

Acer crossed his arms over his chest and let his eyes close as he just tried to think and soak in what Anessa was saying. After a long silence he focused his sight on Anessa's hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, too. Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and pulled her legs up on the sofa, crossed them and pulled her knees up under her chin. Ani wrapped both arms around her legs and stared straight forward. "I don't know, for sure," she answered calmly.

Acer watched her closely for a minute or so before saying anything more. "What did the doctor say? There's no baby, no other health concerns? But what else did he say?" Acer wondered.

"She," Anessa interjected slightly.

"What?" Acer's forehead creased slightly.

"My doctor," Ani answered. "Dr. James is a she, not a he."

"Oh," he didn't hesitate to continue, "okay, so what did _she_ say?"

Anessa continued staring at the air as she thought about his question. "Just that everything looked fine. My body was playing tricks on me," she hesitated.

"And what else?" Acer pressed.

"She said it was good that we didn't wait any longer to find out because this is still like losing a baby. Mentally, I mean. My body's fine, but my mind…and my heart…"

Anessa slowly leaned back against the seat and pulled the little sleeper out of her lap. She laid it down between her and Acer and flattened it out on the cushions. "She suggested counseling and told Zac to keep an eye on me."

With the mention of his name Anessa glanced up to see Acer's face. Her tear-swollen cheeks begged him not to make anything of the fact that Anessa had stayed at Zac's home – even after learning that she wasn't pregnant.

"Has he?" Acer questioned, trying his best not to sound accusatory.

Anessa nodded. She brought her arms to her chest and crossed her wrists at the base of her neck to form a protective pillow to rest her chin and lips. "I've needed him, Ace. I know that's not what you want to hear and this is the last thing you want to talk about. But the truth is, I need him in my life. He has been looking out for me and caring for me." She shook her head slightly and looked at his nearly defeated face. "It's why I ran to him, Acer. I knew… I _knew_ that if I went to him he would help me find my feet again and comfort me, or whatever I needed."

Acer closed his eyes and let his head lean backwards as she spoke. Anessa didn't move a hand to touch him or try to soothe the feelings she knew she was stirring up in him. All she had to offer Acer was the truth. Once that was spoken she didn't know where the conversation would turn but as Zac had told her weeks ago, Ace deserved to know.

"After the ultrasound and doctor's appointment we went back to Zac's house and I just holed up in one of his spare bedrooms. He didn't push me to talk or anything else, he just let me be. But when it got dark," she looked toward the windows of her home. "When it was dark outside and I felt _so dark _on the inside too, he left the door open for me."

Acer turned his head and looked at her. His heart felt like it had frozen because he simply felt numb. He imagined what she was going to say next. He wanted to be angry by what he assumed she was going to say. But instead he only parted his lips to help take a breath, and looked at her.

"He's been a perfect gentleman, Acer. I've crawled into his bed and woken up in his arms…but that's just it. I've slept with him, yes. But not like you're thinking. He's held me and I've fallen asleep right there in his bed. But he wouldn't let anything else happen."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ace finally broke slightly and asked his question with a wavering voice.

"Because you deserve to know," she lifted her hands weakly as though it would help her offer the explanation. "Because Zac is the one who has told me over and over again through all this that you deserve to know. You were out of town and I took the pregnancy test. When I first got to his house I didn't tell him why I was there. It was almost three days later that I finally told him. And you know one of the first things he told me? It was that I needed to talk to you - because you deserved to know. I couldn't even stand to say your name at that point, Ace, and there he was telling me that you needed to know."

Her voice raised purely because of the thoughts running through her mind. There was nothing Acer could say, so he sat, listening, trying to make sense of the moment.

"He was right. Thinking I was pregnant with your baby; I should've been facing the fact with you from the very beginning of it. But it was the last thing I wanted. I didn't want it to be real. Ace, you and I were having fun. We're still getting to know each other and just enjoying being together and … and fooling around. Along the way, though," she reached out to place her fingertips on the back of his hand, "the fooling around started to mean more and I was scared to admit that."

Acer looked down at her hand on his and felt the confusion wrapping itself tighter and tighter around his heart.

"A baby… A baby, Ace. A baby is supposed to be the result of two people who love each other so much that they want to create that new life together. Thinking I was pregnant? That meant that somewhere along the way I had let my heart fall in love with you. I know, we've _said_ it to each other. But you and I both know there's a huge difference between saying it and truly _feeling_ it, right? But if we had made a baby together then it meant we were in love…at least, to me, that's what it should mean." Anessa's eyes darkened slightly, daring herself to try and believe the words she had just said. She unintentionally made their relationship sound almost whimsical but knew it had become more than that. More than she wanted to admit – but still, not enough.

Acer turned his hand over slowly and wrapped his fingers around hers. His dark eyes looked into hers with a mass of confusion and questions. He saw the same things reflecting in her eyes.

"Do you, Ani? Did you fall in love with me? What are you telling me?" He whispered the questions, not really sure that he wanted her to answer.

Anessa blinked back a few tears and shrugged her shoulders. "I wasn't supposed to. I didn't want to fall in love. I promised myself when Zac and I separated that I wouldn't let myself fall in love with _anyone_ again." She shook her head and pulled her hand from Acer's to cover her mouth. "But then you were there and I don't know what happened, when it happened…but I did fall in love again."

Acer's breaths came quicker as he scooted closer to her to try and wrap her in a hug. But Anessa stopped him. With a hand on his chest she pushed him away. Her eyes met his with two completely opposite expressions.

"A _part_ of me fell in love with you Acer; because you are kind and gentle. You gave me the attention I needed and listened and let me be me, the best way I knew how. You brought out feelings in me that I wasn't sure I could ever experience again." She looked away from him slightly embarrassed by the mixed message she was sending him. "You are an amazing man, Acer Roberts. But that part of me that loves you _isn't_ the part that wants forever, or a baby." She looked back at him with sincere, apologetic eyes. "These past weeks, in particular, have been eye opening. I love you for your friendship and the care that you've given me. But my time with you has made me realize… You've helped me fall in love again, Ace…with Zac."

Acer's jaw set in defiance so strongly that Ani didn't know if he was still listening or not. She chose to continue.

"I didn't want to open my heart up again Ace. I didn't want to get that close to anyone again. But something about being with you; I couldn't help but open myself up and let you in. The thing is, you've helped me understand what I was trying to give up…what I had with Zac. And over the past couple of weeks, thinking about you and being back with him, it kinda hit me. I don't have to fall in love _again_…because I've never truly let go of being in love...with him. I know that's not what you want to hear. It's true, though. In all of this mess, this chaos and confusion, one thing is clear to me now. You've helped me realize how real that love is...not was…but is, still."

Acer shook his head and stood from the couch. He crossed his arms over his chest, willing himself to stay calm and pull from the new-found maturity that he had gathered. "You're telling me that by venturing into a relationship with me, loving _me,_ you've realized that you actually still love _him_? If that's the case then you never really loved me."

Ani sat on the couch with a sad look. "But I did, Ace. I do. I loved you enough to open my heart again and enough to trust you. That takes a lot for me and you know it. That's why you skipping the condom hurt me so much; because I love you and trust you."

"But because of it you don't trust me enough to give _us_ another chance?" Acer took shallow breaths and waited for her words.

Anessa tilted her head as she watched him talking to her. "Because of it, I trust myself, my heart, more. That's something I was missing. I didn't trust myself or my feelings. When Zac and I split that was part of it – I'm just realizing now. I didn't necessarily need to make it _on my own_, but I needed to trust myself and get a grip on the feelings I had – for myself and for Zac." Anessa stopped to take a breath and ward off another round of emotional thoughts for the man who wasn't here beside her at the moment.

"You and I know each other better now than we ever have, Acer. Without misunderstandings even friends can't really know each other. _This_ has taught me that I _can_ trust you now…if you'll allow our friendship to continue. And I want it to. But even more, than that, it's taught me that a love that's grown from mutual trust is one that I just can't let go of. I'm grateful to you, Ace. I can't tell you how much. And I do love you, Acer. But I've trusted Zac and loved him so much that I ran back to him when I didn't know where else to go or who else to turn to. I need him Acer. I _want_ you in my life and hope you will stay. But Zac; Zac I _need_."

Her soft face, relaxed features and even glistening eyes told the story of a confused heart that had just found its resolution. The truth had been said. She could see that Acer was trying to understand. And even if he couldn't he was willing to try.

"I want you in my life, too. I love you, Anessa Anne Hart. That's what I've learned… being away from you these last few weeks. I've never been in love before; but I know I love you." Acer stepped away from Anessa and the couch and bit on his bottom lip.

"They say if you love something you're supposed to let it go, don't they?" He tried to reason with himself.

Anessa nodded. "Yes, but…"

Acer shook his head. "No, I know. Zac let you go and you're finding your way back to him. I know. I've heard you. But if _that man_ doesn't appreciate you, or you decide that he loves his career too much, then you find your way back to _me._ Cause I love you, too. Don't ever forget that."

Anessa smiled liked a young woman getting advice from her brother. "He'll take that warning more than seriously, you know?"

Acer finally let a hint of a smile grace his face behind a sad demeanor. "After the talk we had a few days ago, I hope he will."

Anessa's smile shortened with her lips pressing into a curious pucker. "What talk?" She asked with a few steps toward Acer, pointing them both back towards the kitchen.

"When I met him at the bistro. I…I kinda hoped he would push you to talk to me again. I thought maybe that's why you called me today. But he was pretty adamant that I just scoot on out of your life and let him back into it." Acer recalled the conversation.

Anessa shook her head, still confused, "No…he never said a word. I had no idea… Did he threaten you?"

Acer rolled his eyes. "Other than telling me to 'back off'? I don't consider that a real threat. I told him then that I wouldn't give up on you. I couldn't, without hearing it from you. But Anessa, even with that, if there was a baby involved, like he thought there was…"

Anessa closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of the various conversations she and Zac had had. "But there's not." Her answer was short and simple. "When was this meeting again?" she delved back into her curiousness.

"Before the ultrasound. Did he really not tell you? I guess…with everything that's gone on… I know he still loves you. He made that very clear. But for me, Anessa, it came down to whether or not you really loved me…and our baby. I needed to know what you wanted. Now I know. I guess the two of us both just want what's best for you."

"And in your eyes, you're the best for me?" she blinked her eyelashes at him making him roll his eyes again.

"I thought I could be," he gave a soft, genuine smile. "And if there was a baby, Anessa, you'd be right. It would have been a life created by two people who love each other. I couldn't walk away from that. I wouldn't. Zac made it sound like I should just fade into the shadows or something. But being a father…" Acer swallowed, suddenly feeling some of the emotions that Anessa had already experienced. "That's not something a man can walk away from. I hope I do get to experience it someday."

Anessa stepped toward him, "I have no doubt you will …with a very special woman…when you find her." Anessa pressed both of her hands into his and tiptoed up to give him another kiss, this time on the cheek. "I want the best for you, Acer. But I'm not her. You've given me so much of yourself… I do love you, and I know I'm hurting you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Ani. I'm not sure what else to say. You're amazing and I feel blessed to have shared a part of my life with you. I…I'm still not letting you go willingly. I resent Zac; you realize that, right? I know he didn't come _swooping_ in to steal you away from me. But I resent that he didn't _have_ to do that. I hope he knows how lucky a man he is. And I truly meant what I said. If he doesn't appreciate you – then you come find me. No man deserves a woman as special as you are. You're in a league all your own, Anessa."

She blushed at his words and turned back toward the couch for just a moment, picking up the baby clothing. "Can I keep this?" she asked softly.

Acer tilted his head to look at her. "Of course. Are you sure you want to?"

"Yeah," Anessa nodded and bit her bottom lip. "I want to tuck it away for the baby I hope to have someday, too. It'll be a special reminder to me of my first pregnancy experience." She smiled sadly and reached out for Acer's hand. "You won't just…fade into the shadows, will you?"

Acer lowered his chin to his chest.

"Ace? I don't want you to just disappear from my life," Anessa's plea didn't fall on deaf ears.

"I think I need to for a little while, Ani," Acer only glanced at her face before looking back at the floor. "I'm not good at letting go. Hell, the last thing I want to see is you and Zac together. You don't need the paps in your face asking about me and him. Let them just celebrate the two of you together again. Fading into the background might be just the thing we all need." He shrugged his shoulders and pressed his toe into the carpet beneath his feet.

"Don't, please?" Anessa's heart sank slightly. "I know what you're saying, Ace, and I understand. But please, don't leave me completely."

Acer closed his eyes briefly and took in a long breath. He swallowed and breathed out before putting a smile on his face. "I'll be around, Ani. I'm not running away to the other side of the world or anything. You call me, okay? Give me a little time, but you call me."

Anessa returned his smile and nodded. "Deal."

The timer in the kitchen sounded for the pizza baking in the oven. The two of them heard Jeana rustling around on the third floor staircase, heading down the steps to pull lunch out before it burned.

"Stay a little longer?" Anessa invited as Jeana appeared on the second landing.

Acer shook his head and leaned down to place a kiss on Anessa's cheek before wiping his thumb across the same area. "I'll be around," he offered again before heading toward the garage. His eyes jittered down toward the sleeper in Anessa's hands. He reached down and flicked his fingers across the soft material.

"Austin," he looked up at her eyes as he touched the cotton.

"What?" Anessa smiled and creased her eyebrows together.

"If it…if there was a baby, and it was a boy…I've always thought the name Austin was cool. That's what I would've suggested."

Anessa wrapped her arms around his neck and the two shared a tight, loving, friendly hug. "Thank you," she whispered into his ears as a few more tears escaped.

Acer held her waist as she lowered herself back to the floor. He reached for her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze before offering her a sad smile and then slowly shuffling toward his exit. "Thank you," he offered over his shoulder without looking at her directly. "I love you, Anessa."

Ani stood and watched him until the door closed behind him. She stood still as Jeana placed a comforting hand on her back and the two leaned against each other. Nothing more needed to be said. Ani only hoped the hint of brokenness she was feeling would help her find the happiness that was waiting for her with the man who had taken her heart and picked it up more than any love she could imagine.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	16. Epilogue - Part 1

**Okay, my KTZLF'ing friends, here it is. Part one of the end to this story. :) Thanks for giving me the opportunity and encouragement to get this far and for your support throughout the story! **

**Ready Or Not - Epilogue Part 1**

"You're tense tonight, Baby. What'd you get into today?" The question came as he sat comfortably on the backs of her thighs, kneading gently at the muscles of her shoulders and neck.

Anessa shrugged one shoulder slightly trying to give off an air of indifference. "Nothing much," she avoided giving a straightforward answer knowing that he would press for more. At times she hated that about her husband. He had ruined a few surprises that way; pushing for information. And yet tonight she wanted him to delve deeper because she knew it meant he cared that much.

"Now why don't I believe that, Mrs. Alexander?" Zac moved one of the spaghetti straps from her nightshirt off her shoulder to try and relax the tension – or was it because he just wanted to touch every inch of her?

Anessa smiled at his words as that thought ran through her mind. "Do you think I'm lying to you, _Mr._ Alexander?" She teased, still loving the sound of their matching names.

"No," he answered simply as his fingers pressed gently into her skin. "But I know you aren't telling me the whole story. How's Dr. James doing, by the way?" His subtle hint didn't go unnoticed by his wife. And he noticed the smile on her face falter and return as she decided how to answer.

"So you did look at my calendar, huh?" She avoided answering again but just for a moment.

"It's synched with mine online, Sweetheart. Of course I look at your calendar, every day." Zac bent down and kissed her temple before sliding off her thighs and laying down beside her on the bed. He waited for her to turn and face him before propping his head up on one hand, anchored by his elbow on the pillow.

"Today was shot day. That one's kinda burnt into my brain, as it has been for the past few years." He smiled and reached out with his free hand to push some hair from her forehead. "Everything okay, there?"

Anessa leaned against his finger for a moment and blinked her eyes. "It was a checkup day, too," she met his eyes and let her lips press together. Zac waited as she took a few breaths between sharing thoughts.

"Did you know it's been five years – to the day – since we saw Dr. James and found out I wasn't pregnant?" Anessa swallowed the small lump in her throat. "She was looking through my chart and pointed that out. Mainly because it was the annual birth control questioning." She placed one arm under her pillow to raise her head up slightly as Zac sat up a little straighter and his eyes focused solely on hers.

"Why didn't you tell me that part, Ani? Baby, you know I would've gone with you. Do you need to change? Is there a problem being on one birth control for too long?" His questions were earnest but she waited for him to settle slightly before trying to answer any of them.

Ani took a deep breath and then sat up and reached for Zac to do the same. "It's fine. I'm fine. But I made a decision today." She stopped and looked shyly at her husband. "I didn't get my shot today, Zac."

He looked at her for several moments trying to interpret her meaning. "Is that what she recommended, Dr. James, I mean? Have you been on it too long? I never even thought about that. Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" His eyes widened, slightly worried, before she placed a finger over his lips and smiled softly.

"I should've talked to you about it, I know. But it's something I've been thinking about. I just – I wanted to be able to talk to Dr. James to make sure, medically, that I was doing the right thing." She took in another deep breath and looked into his wonderfully blue eyes.

"We've been married three years now, Zac. We've loved each other for a decade or more. When I thought I was pregnant, with Acer's baby, you shared your feelings with me. I'll never forget that. You told me that you wanted to be in on every step of me having a baby and that you were jealous of Ace." She watched Zac's eyes dip to their hands as he remembered the very conversation she was referencing.

Anessa used her fingers to lift his chin so that their eyes met again. "I want you to have those opportunities. I want _us_ to share them. I didn't take my shot today because I want to try for a baby – if you think we're ready," she took a steadying breath. "I do."

Zac watched her for another second before his smile began to form. "Are you sure, Ani?" His eyes glistened as her chocolate irises matched his with a hint of nerves but full of happiness.

She nodded at him and had to laugh as he smothered her with kisses and wrapped his arms around her. When he finally gave her a chance to breathe he asked again, "I want you to be sure. I know we've had discussions here and there but I don't want to push you into anything. You know that, right? A baby…it's not just my decision. It's a whole other life we're talking about."

Anessa leaned toward him to place a kiss on his lips. She rested a hand on his cheek and moved her thumb across his cheekbone. "You're right. It's _our_ decision. And I don't want to push you either. I skipped the shot but I can get back on it. And we can still use other protection if this is too fast –"

"No!" Zac interjected to stop her words. "No. If you are ready then I am, too. I meant what I said. I want to be here with you, if I can, when you take a pregnancy test. And I want to be here if you get morning sickness and for the doctor's visits and blood tests and ultrasounds. I want to be here."

Anessa grinned at his eager face. It was the face she had fallen in love with so many years ago. The boyish looks, the handsome face, the caring, concerned man who loved her more than she could still believe.

"But what made you decide? What's made you think about this all of a sudden?" Zac wondered as they each settled back onto their pillows.

Ani looked at him and thought about his question. "The day that I broke up with Acer, he and I had this really heartfelt talk. You've never asked me how things happened," she placed a hand over his heart requesting that he just listen.

"I told him that a baby is supposed to be the result of two people loving each other so much that they want to create that new life, and support it, together. And when that thought hit me, it scared me. It scared me because I knew I didn't love Acer that much. And I honestly didn't know if he really loved me at all. That's when I ran. That's when I came to you."

She glanced down at their hands and the special rings that adorned them both as their wedding symbols. Anessa lifted their joined hands and kissed the kuippo ring on her husband's hand before holding it to her cheek and opening her eyes back to his.

"The minute that Mom asked me if I was pregnant there was this gnawing in the back of my heart. It was something that agitated me and terrified me and it just sent me into this trance, I guess. I didn't even know what it was, I couldn't put my finger on it until Ace and I talked. I knew I felt better, with you, and it felt right to be with you but there was still something that was just…" she shook her head as she tilted it slightly and watched Zac listening to her. "Thinking that I was pregnant…that Ace was the father…I was so disappointed in myself and the truth of the situation; I just didn't want _him_ to be the one. You know? Zac, if he had gotten me pregnant – my whole life…" she looked at him with a touch of sadness and shook her head.

"I started understanding what that gnawing feeling was when you opened up to me. When you said that _you_ wanted to be the one, the…the daddy," she smiled slightly. "And then when I talked to Ace about what a baby _truly_ means to me, it was all clear." She raised her eyebrows and gave her shoulder a gentle shrug.

"What?" Zac pulled his hand from hers and put his palm against her cheek. He knew what she was saying. She knew he knew but he wanted to hear it from her.

"It _is_ you, Zachary Alexander. My heart knew it all along. You are the one I wanted to marry. You are the one that I want to be the father of my children. A piece of me may have fallen in love with Acer Roberts, but only because he's a lot like you. But even then, when my life started going crazy, I came back to you. Because I love you, Zac. I want _us_ to make a baby together. I want you to be the daddy and I'll be the mommy. I want to have a family with you because you love me so much, and I love you so much, that I want us to create that new life together."

Zac smiled at her, the soft truth of her words spilling out over the no-longer-bitter reminders of the past or the other man who still graced their lives from time to time. "I want that, too, Anessa." He pushed a laugh quietly through his nose. "You know how I feel," he glanced away from her, then back with a bigger grin.

"Whaaat?" She drew out the question, unsure of his mischievous look.

Zac wagged his eyebrows and then winked at her. "You wouldn't want to start on this project…tonight…" he pressed his lips together attempting a look of innocence, "would you?"

Anessa rolled her eyes at him.

Zac took a moment and rolled to his side of the bed, opening the drawer to the bedside table. He removed a box that was quite familiar to both of them. The paper flap was well worn from the fumbling fingers that had reached into it, digging for the contents.

"Would you look at that?" He pulled the box out and turned toward his wife, opening it so she could see inside.

"It's empty," Anessa blinked at him, waiting for him to make his point.

"That usually means I'm out of luck. But maybe not tonight?" The corner of his lip edged up with the boyish look that Anessa often witnessed before he turned on his charm.

"Why didn't you notice that a couple of nights ago?" She wondered, crossing her arms in an almost motherly fashion.

"Wh – A couple of nights ago we had what we needed. I think I was focused more on you than how many condoms were left in our economy-sized box over here." He smiled at her as Anessa attempted to keep her stern look.

She raised one eyebrow at him before the serious look began to crumble. She gave way to a smile, followed by a sigh and even a slight chuckle. "Then I guess we should take the empty box as a sign, huh?"

Zac's face nearly beamed. They had been diligent with their protection for more years than he could remember. A few times they had shared their intimate experiences without that second layer of cautiousness. Those were special times; times both would remember as their love and trust for each other shone through.

Now, this particular night, would be another special time; a start of something new, yet again, with the two of them together. A new 'project' as he dubbed their baby-making attempts; a project he never wanted to experience with anyone except the woman he had chosen to be his wife.

"You know I love you more than anything, don't you?" He asked as their bodies pressed to one another, still hesitant to bring them together completely without her consent.

"And I love you," she added with a slight panting for her breath in the heightened sensitivity.

"Anessa, are you sure…no condom, no shot, no pill…are you sure?" His eyes watched hers for any indication.

The beautiful, brown gaze that he received in return gave him his answer but he still waited.

"I'm positive. More than positive," she watched as his eyes closed and felt him nudging her toward the act they were both anticipating. "And if you don't stop teasing me…" she whispered breathlessly, "I'll make sure _you_ have to tell my father when we get pregnant."

Her threat only caused him to smile. Her slow intake of air pleased him to no end. And the effort both gave to please each other was exactly what they expected in their relationship that was growing still.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

_Eight Months Later…_

"Zac?" She jostled his arm with her fingertips as she whispered his name a bit loudly to try and wake him.

"Hmmm?" He rolled toward her side of the bed and blinked his eyes into the darkness.

"Boo? Are you awake?" She rubbed her fingers down his arm then rested her palm against his hip.

"Not really…" he mumbled against the pillowcase and buried his face into the soft cloth.

"But you need to wake up," he could hear the pout in her voice without even opening his eyes.

"Why?" Zac asked with his own boyish whine.

"Because you said you wanted to be here, every step."

He blinked his eyes again and then squeezed them together before rubbing a hand over his eyelids and opening them slightly. He tried to peer at the clock. "Ness, Honey, it's 5:30 in the morning. Why are you up? Are you okay?" He attempted to focus in her direction as her hand squeezed his hip.

He could make out her figure kneeling on the bed and looked up at what appeared to be her head. She bent down slowly in the darkness and landed a kiss on his cheek.

"I had to pee," she answered as a beginning of an explanation.

"Thank you for sharing; but you had to wake me up for that?" Zac let his head sink back into the somewhat flattened pillow as she spoke.

"Well, the directions said that it was best to use the first morning urine. I think that's how they put it. So I went ahead and peed…on the stick-thing, I mean," her words drifted off slightly, wondering if he'd gone back to sleep, even with her fingers kneading nervously against his thigh.

If that was his effort, he didn't succeed. As Anessa's words began to sink in, his mind started turning. In the next second his eyes opened wide and he struggled to sit up quickly in the bed. "Wait, you p- … on a stick… that would be … Ani, did you just do a pregnancy test?"

"Yeah," she answered a bit hesitantly. "I just…I didn't wake you up before because I thought I might chicken out on it but once I got in the bathroom and turned on the light… Then once I did, it only takes like three minutes and I didn't want to wait by myself and you said you wanted to be here when I took it and…"

"Of course I want to… Ani, you think you're pregnant? Seriously?" He interrupted her rambling and looked back at the clock. "How long has it been since you… How much longer till we can look at it? When did you get a pregnancy test?"

The thoughts began running through his mind along with a touch of nervousness. The prior months had been filled with practicing, perfecting and complimenting each other. A couple of times Anessa had hinted that she was 'late' but they had put off taking a test and 'late' was exactly what had happened.

"I got it last month. I don't know why, I just, I just had a feeling I guess." She explained as she reached out to run a hand over his cheek. "My period should've started more than a week ago. I'm later than I was those other times. Something just told me I needed to take it this morning." Anessa felt Zac's hand cover hers against his cheek.

He moved her palm to his lips and kissed it gently. "So how much longer?"

Anessa glanced at the clock. "Anytime, actually. I didn't set a timer. I figured whenever I could wake you up we could go back in and look, together."

Zac's heartbeat sped up slightly. He put his hands on both of her shoulders and squeezed. "Are you scared, Baby? Don't be. We're in this together, right? Me and you, the way it should be, right?"

He felt her nod silently and pressed at the subtle tension in her arms. "Right," she answered finally, nervously. "What about you? Are you scared?" She wondered as their hands instinctively made their way together, fingers gripping around each other.

"Who, me? Never," he lied. He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her.

Anessa chuckled at his answer. "So if that little stick in there has two positive signs on it, then you won't be scared to go tell my father that we're expecting a baby?" Her follow-up curiosity made her husband shiver; which made her laugh again.

"Scared isn't exactly the word I would use to describe _that_ feeling," Zac admitted.

"We'll have to tell him, you know," Anessa relaxed against his collarbone as she listened to his breaths shifting.

Zac took a deep breath and began to move them both off of the bed. "One step at a time," he wimped out of continuing the conversation regarding Gregory Hart. "Let's go take a peek at your morning handiwork and see what happens after that."

Anessa stood behind him as they scooted off the bed. "I love you, Zac," she held his wrist for one more second before urging them toward the master bathroom.

"And I love you, my sweet love. There's no reason for either of us to be scared. This is just another new beginning for us, right? Another step that we'll take, together."

This time Anessa saw his meaningful smile before he dipped his head and kissed her lips. Another step into the future they were creating; one they knew they wanted to share, every step of the way.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

The doctor smiled at the couple sitting in her office. She had purposefully opened the door without a knock or a sound. One of her nurses, Karen, had expressed to the doctor the bout of nerves that both the expectant mother and father were experiencing. Dr. James had become more than familiar with this couple and remembered the first time they had gone through the blood testing and ultrasound process.

This time the smaller woman had checked the results and Anessa Alexander's file before even saying 'hello' to them. She understood their nervousness and anxiousness on several levels. But this time around the obstetrician was almost as excited as the man and wife seated near her desk.

"Those kinds of things don't happen twice, Ani. They just don't. It's a whole different situation now. You talked to the doctor about it when you came off the shots. You trust her, right? And you trust me, don't you?" Zac whispered to his wife who squeezed one of his hands between hers.

"I just… you know what my dream has been the past couple of nights, don't you? More of a nightmare from the past. I just keep seeing that blank ultrasound. I'm not sure how I would handle that if it happens again." She spoke to her husband with a fear even the doctor could understand.

"You don't have to worry about that, Anessa," the doctor stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. She heard the sniffle that came from her patient and the manly, throat-clearing that came from the male portion of the couple.

"Hi, Dr. James," Anessa responded.

"Hi there," the doctor placed a gentle hand on Anessa's shoulder and then reached around with her other one to shake Zac's hand. "Your husband is correct. I know it's hard, considering your last experience with this, but don't let your mind and the past get to you."

Zac and Anessa watched the doctor take her seat at the desk and open the small laptop computer that she carried with her. "Then what you're saying is – we're still positive, right?" Zac questioned then held his breath.

The doctor smiled at them. "You're still positive. The blood test results match your home test results."

"All four of them…" Anessa let out a slow breath.

"Four?" Zac looked toward his wife who blushed slightly and smiled shyly at the doctor.

"I wanted to be sure. I needed," she shrugged and looked down at Zac's hand holding hers. "I just needed. You know?"

Zac leaned over and kissed her temple as the doctor nodded. "It's fine. I just wish you had told me." He glanced toward Dr. James and then nuzzled his lips against his wife's cheek. "I could've used a little reassurance, too. Do you know how many times I've looked at that first test stick to make sure the plus signs were still there?"

His confession made Anessa sit up straighter and look seriously at her husband. "I threw that one in the trash can after we…" her eyes widened as she remembered their initial celebration, in the bathroom, after seeing the positive test result. She let her thoughts drift into oblivion in order to keep them from the doctors' ears.

Still, Dr. James smiled and watched the two of them in front of her.

"I kinda took it out of the trash can and put it in a Ziplock baggie. I figured I'd throw it out once we had some ultrasound pictures that I could replace it with." Zac shrugged his shoulders at the doctor.

Anessa let go of Zac's hand and placed hers on his cheek requesting his attention on her. When he turned to face her she leaned forward and pressed a heavy kiss to his lips. Zac accepted her act of gratitude without hesitating. The news of their baby was something they both wanted to be true and had found ways to keep their nerves in check – somewhat.

"Ahem," the doctor cleared her throat purposefully, although she was enjoying the little peek she was getting into this couple's life.

Anessa and Zac pulled away from each other, both laughing before looking back toward the motherly figure behind the desk.

"Your blood test confirms those _four_ tests," Dr. James smiled at them. "And if you're ready, we can go ahead and move next door if you _want_ the ultrasound confirmation as well."

Anessa laughed at the doctor's suggestion then nodded. "That would be great. The more proof the better, since _my husband_ is apparently skeptical about the e.p.t."

The two women shared a laugh at Zac's expense while he rolled his eyes. "Can I pay you to use the cold gel on her belly, Dr. James?"

The three continued smiling as they made their way next door and were reintroduced to the machinery that would provide them unmistakable proof that they had, in fact, created another life.

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Neither hesitated to look at the small black and white screen as the doctor pressed the wand against Anessa's gelled skin. Ani did hold her breath as she watched for any little sign of life.

Dr. James held the instrument expertly and moved it low, below Anessa's belly button. She stilled at one point and pressed the rounded tip of the wand a bit more firmly into Anessa's abdomen.

Zac moved his eyes toward the doctor only to see her adjust one of the knobs on the machine. In the next second the room was filled with a whooshing noise in a steady, rhythmic beat.

"That's your baby's heartbeat," the doctor informed them just as they saw a tiny, peanut shaped figure on the screen. They could see slight movement from the white shadow making them both wait for the doctor to say more.

Anessa squeezed Zac's hand before noticing the tears already moving down his cheeks. She didn't hesitate to let her own eyes seep at the sight of her grateful husband and these first signs of their baby.

"This is the head," the doctor moved slightly and adjusted another knob, then made a notation or two electronically. "The little buds, here, will become the hands and arms…and the feet are growing here."

Zac and Anessa heard every word the doctor said. Neither had a clue where she was pointing or any potential medical meaning behind her words. The only thing they knew was the sight of that tiny little life that they had created and the sound of a new little heart beating right before their ears.

As Anessa re-dressed a few minutes later, Zac sat on the exam table staring at the four or five black and white pictures in his hand. His eyes kept jumping back and forth between the words at the top of each picture, _'Baby Alexander'_, and the image of the little squirming infant that was growing inside of his wife.

Anessa stood close to Zac and peered over his shoulder. "Pretty amazing, isn't it?" She asked as she rested her chin near his neck.

"Yeah," he nodded and leaned his head against hers. "That's _our_ baby, Nessa. _Our_ baby!" His voice only gave away a bit of the excitement that Zac felt coursing through him.

"Are you ready, Daddy Alexander?" Anessa pressed a kiss to his cheek and reached down to take the pictures from him.

Zac reluctantly let go of the glossy paper, "It's gonna happen, ready or not," he raised his eyebrows and watched as she eyed the crude photographs.

"But _are_ you ready to be a daddy? Hmmm?" She asked again.

Zac reached around and pulled on Anessa until she was in front of him. "I was ready years ago, Mrs. Alexander. My heart's been ready since that morning that you told me you were pregnant – the first time. As long as you're with me, I'm ready. And I promise I will do my best to take care of you and our baby."

"Wow," she smiled and steadied her fingers against his chest. She ran her thumb lightly over the ultrasound pictures and looked back and forth between the shape on the paper and her husband's profile. She kissed his cheek warmly.

"You don't believe me?" Zac pressed his nose against hers.

"Of course I believe you, Daddy," Anessa put the pictures down on the table beside him and then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm just trying to let this all soak in."

Zac smiled at her and Eskimo kissed her nose while enjoying the few still moments with their most enjoyable news.

"Are _you_ ready..._Mommy_?" He returned her question.

Anessa's eyes blinked several times before a nearly perfect smile spread across her face and she nodded softly but eagerly. "Yeah, I am."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


	17. Epilogue - Part 2

**This is it, the final chapter! When you get to the end of it you might have a question (maybe a few...just sayin...). My answer is this - what do YOU think? I'd love to know your thoughts. :)**

**Thanks again for joining me, sampling my imagination and giving me your input either by reviews or direct messages or Facebook fun! I appreciate all the support you've given me and look forward to hearing from you again in the future! KTZLF!**

**Ready Or Not - Epilogue Part II**

Acer Roberts waited at the bistro table where numerous conversations had happened for him over the past few years. He rolled the bottle of beer around in his hands, took a quick drink and then pulled out his phone to pass the time.

_He and Anessa had met at this very table at least two or three times each year since their breakup. Surprisingly, Zac had initiated their meetings not long after the pregnancy mishap. Acer had approached his second meeting with Zac Alexander even more reluctantly than the first they had shared, but a more serene Zac had simply asked Acer to check in on Anessa while he was out of town on business for a week or so._

_Without so much as even raised voices the two men agreed that Acer was a man who loved Anessa Anne Hart and would gladly keep a watchful, friendly eye on the woman who held their hearts._

_Anessa, too, was unsure about being seen with Ace and the thoughts of any underlying feelings. But when Zac returned from that second meeting and told her that Ace would be calling, she didn't argue, much, and agreed to see him for lunch while Zac was away._

_The lunch had been nice. Ace put on his best manners, as if he were on a first date. Anessa sat nervously, waiting for him to ask her to come back to him; a question that didn't happen. Instead they delved into movie projects and shared some laughs over comical issues that had come up with some mutual friends._

_And before they said 'goodbye' after their two hour meeting, Acer bent and kissed her on the cheek with just a short reminder that he loved her and hoped that she was happy…with Zac. Anessa blinked, swallowed a stubborn breath, and smiled with her lips pressed together. "You helped me find him again, Ace. I'm not going to forget that. Meet me again, here, soon. I don't want to lose touch with you."_

_Acer nodded and returned her smile. _

_Just a few months later Acer quickly noted the diamond ring on Anessa's finger as he joined her at the familiar table. She called for this lunch date and had sounded nervous. He had wondered then if there was a change in her relationship status._

"_You're engaged," he plastered a smile on his face for her benefit as he scooted his chair up to the table._

"_Yes, we are," Anessa answered without hesitating and stared at his less-than-enthused face. "I realize you aren't happy about it, Ace. I get that. But I at least wanted to tell you in person. I didn't want you to hear it second hand." Her tone was forced at that point, like his smile. _

_But instead of turning around and walking away, as Anessa had somewhat expected, Acer reached for her hand across the table. She pulled hers back at first and then looked into his downfallen face. When he wiggled his fingers again in her direction she changed her mind and let their hands touch._

"_I've had a few dates," Acer spoke while looking at the ring on her finger. "I had a feeling, when you went back to Zac, that there would be something pretty quickly. Wasn't sure if you'd move in together or what…this kind of answers that question, I guess, huh?" He rambled slightly._

_Anessa caught onto the first part of his words. "You've had dates? Ace, didn't I always tell you how jealous I was when women would stand right beside us and drool over you?" She rolled her eyes at the memory. "Who have you been out with? Anyone I know? Whoever it is, they'd better treat you right and I'll tell them that, myself!" She expressed a feeling from deep in her heart._

_Acer smiled more genuinely and rolled his eyes at her. "You sound like my big sister; stop it. It's just been a couple of casual dinners and dancing. Nothing serious. But it has been nice, I guess."_

_Anessa squeezed the tips of his fingers and then pulled her hand back away from his. "Just having fun?" She asked with a more serious meaning._

"_Just dinner and dancing," Ace emphasized. "I took our situation very seriously, Ani. I'm not sleeping around if that's what you're wondering. I'm not ready for that and it's going to take me a while to – well, honestly, to trust someone enough to share that with them. Falling in love, sharing that, means a lot more to me, now." _

_Anessa thought about his words. She thought about her re-relationship with Zac which had taken time to rekindle even after her breakup with Acer. _

_"The night after we broke up," Anessa looked at her plate, wanting to share with Acer to let him know that she shared his feelings, "Zac showed up at my door with this ring in his hands."_

_She glanced up at Acer only to see him closing his eyes – trying to shut out whatever she was saying._

_"No, Ace, listen," she continued, "I didn't call him. After you left, about a couple of hours later, I sent Mom home. That evening, Zac showed up at my front door asking me to marry him. He had no clue that you and I had broken up. He had no clue what had happened there that day; other than the fact that you were supposed to come over. But he got there and proposed and I told him 'no', Ace. My Zac, the one I'm engaged to now…I told him 'no'. You know why?"_

_Acer sucked in a breath and looked back into her caring face. In answer he shook his head._

_"Because what you and I shared taught me a lesson in love, too. Our relationship… we didn't move fast but still, we didn't take it as slow as we should've, either." She stopped and thought about her words while Acer watched her._

_"I guess, I just want you to know that I didn't run and jump back into bed with Zac that night. He and I…we had to date again, too. He wanted that – once we squared away my 'no' answer - and so did I. We weren't starting from scratch – and I'm sorry that, I guess, you are – but please don't think that I ran back to him in every sense of things…"_

_"I think that's what I'm trying to tell you, too," Ace spoke up after a few quiet seconds. "I didn't want to ask…what had happened, I mean, that night…I guess I did assume that you went back to him and your world was perfect right then and there." He shrugged one shoulder giving Anessa a glimpse at the torture that his own mind had caused._

_"I – I'm glad you didn't," Ace continued. "That helps a little. And I want you to know that I didn't go jump into bed with the first woman who drooled over me," he grinned at his attempted humor._

_Anessa gave him a motherly head-tilt but smiled. "We were good for each other, Acer Roberts. Neither of us can deny that. You came into my life at a time when I needed a friend and I needed to figure out if I could ever let myself fall in love again. You proved to me that I could. Thank you."_

_Acer gave her a soft smile. "You're welcome, I guess," he added with a hint of a fake attitude._

_Anessa took in a deep breath and narrowed her focus on his eyes. "You, my friend, will pay for any teasing. Karma tends to bite you in your butt when you least expect it, you know?"_

_Acer shook his head and rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, believe me, I know."_

_"Now, I want to know more about these dates. And if you won't tell me I'll just call your big sister and ask her about them!" She pointed her finger at Acer who put his hands up in surrender and dove straight into a description of the woman who accompanied him on a professional date just a few weeks prior._

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

Anessa had sounded nervous again when she called him to set up this lunch. She had giggled at something he said but her voice quickly turned serious with the request saying she needed to see him. Acer smiled quietly to himself as he saw the beautiful dark haired woman coming through the main doors of the bistro. He had a feeling he knew why she was nervous; there was no need to be, but he understood.

Ace was a little surprised to see Zac accompanying Anessa to this get-together. That made him wonder a little more. He saw Zac from time to time, they were amiable, but his normal lunch dates with Anessa usually didn't include the husband. Yet today, here he was.

The married couple made their way to the corner table with a waiter on their heels. The young man quickly grabbed a third chair from another table and placed it next to Acer's, keeping a grip on it as Anessa sat down. Acer was a bit grateful that she chose the middle spot, still separating him from Anessa's husband.

Anessa quickly leaned over and placed a greeting kiss on Acer's cheek. "Ace, it's good to see you!" she smiled easily at him when he touched his cheek where her lips had been. "Don't worry, I didn't leave any lipstick behind," she reached up and nearly swatted his fingers as they rubbed the spot.

Zac watched without saying a word, attempting to let his wife have a normal moment with her former boyfriend. He did reach across the table a moment later. "Roberts," his greeting wasn't nearly as comfortable as Anessa's.

"Zac, good to see you. Nice surprise," Acer answered in a relaxed tone.

Zac sat back in his seat and looked toward Anessa. "She actually said I could tag along this time," he tried to break down the wall he had created years before regarding this other man.

"I beg your pardon," Anessa looked at her husband. "You're welcome to join us any time," she looked back at Acer. "As is Christina if she ever wants to," Anessa referenced the young woman that Acer had been dating for more than the past month.

"Speaking of… How is Christina?" she smiled in Ace's direction and was pleased to see a pink tint in his cheeks. Anessa pressed her lips together, honestly trying to keep her big-sisterly questions from flooding the new conversation.

"She's good, thank you," Acer answered. He glanced in Zac's direction before looking back at Anessa. "Her parents are in town, otherwise I would've brought her along. She's finally getting a little break. The show schedule at the Bowl has kept her chaotic for the past two weeks."

Zac leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. "Nessa said Christina is a stage manager?" His question brought a strong nod from the younger actor and another slight blush on his face.

"Yeah. She's been at the Hollywood Bowl for about a year now. They seem really pleased with her work. Directors are asking for her help with everything from blocking to props to show schedules. She's thrilled and really likes it – even with the crazy schedule," Acer shared.

Zac pressed his lips together and nodded as their waiter brought drinks for each of them, including a tomato juice for Anessa.

"Mind if I drop her name to a couple of friends who are trying to get some Bowl time?" Zac continued with the business request.

Acer shrugged. "Sure, I know she'd appreciate it. Just let us know who it is and Christi can be on the lookout for them." He turned his attention toward Anessa and looked at the drink she was sipping. "Are we talking about shows that they're lining up for you?" Ace raised his eyebrows with the question.

Ani let the straw drop from her lips and smiled curiously at him. "What makes you say that? It's been years since I've done anything live on stage."

"True," Acer nodded. "But I know you love it. I thought maybe the two of you were putting something together." He shrugged his shoulders, "Don't tell me it hasn't crossed your minds."

Anessa laughed easily. "We've worked together. Not saying we won't again, someday, but for now… well, there is one project we're working on together." She threw the hint on the table to see if Acer would bite.

Zac reached over to squeeze her hand, giving Acer even more of a glimpse into this meeting. Ace stepped over Anessa's suggestive answer and pointed to the glass she was holding.

"Where's your diet coke? I thought tomato juice was reserved for flying, to settle your upset stomach." Again Acer was just waiting for them to share the news he was anticipating – and trying to decide what his reaction should be.

Zac squeezed her hand once more and caught his wife's eyes. "He knows you pretty well," Zac mentioned, reading her face like a book he had memorized.

Anessa nodded at her husband and held his gaze for another moment. She smiled at him and took another sip of her drink.

"You okay?" Zac wondered as he watched the small amounts of vegetable juice going through Anessa's straw.

"Yeah," she smiled and nodded, moving one hand down to her abdomen while nearly getting lost in his blue irises. "We're fine," she assured Zac before remembering the other man at the table and turning back toward Acer.

"Something to tell me?" Acer sat back with arms crossed over his chest, slightly defensive but doing his best to play the curious role instead of agitated one.

Anessa took in a long breath and reached over to place one hand on Zac's thigh while the other stayed over her belly. She began to bite on her lower lip trying to decide exactly how to approach the subject.

"We're…" she blinked a time or two and then let go of the answer on her next breath. "We're pregnant, Ace," she pressed her lips together in a soft smile.

Zac covered her hand on his upper leg and wrapped his fingers around hers. He didn't feel the least bit nervous about sharing this news with Acer Roberts. He understood Anessa's hesitation but not even a drop of it had transferred to him. If anything, Zac was grateful to Ace for pushing Anessa back into his arms. He would never say that to either of them but it was what it was; his true feelings.

Acer nodded his head and sat calmly. "Congratulations," he offered quietly.

"Thank you," Anessa responded just as quietly. Her hand moved to grip Zac's, but her eyes watched Acer.

"When," Acer started again, "When are you due?" He felt a genuine need to find out more from Anessa.

She smiled a bit more eagerly, taking his question as an opportunity to actually share their happy news with her friend, their friend. "August. I'm only about – what did Dr. James say, Zac? – just about five weeks along now. We just found out for sure last week."

Acer nodded. His soft smile was genuine, memories of a fearful pregnancy report not overshadowing this moment. He was surprised; besides Anessa's words going through his head, his brain moved to one other thought: the idea of the previously mentioned woman, Christina, pregnant with his child. The image sent a warm wave through him and nearly put a blush on his face.

"That…that's great," he reached his hand across the table again to shake hands with Zac and then stared at Anessa. "You guys deserve this more than any couple I know. I'll be praying that everything goes well for you."

"Thank you," Zac responded with a soft smile on his own face. "Everything seems to be going well so far," he added.

"Blood tests okay, heartbeat…your blood pressure and everything?" Acer questioned.

Anessa looked back and forth between both men.

"What?" Zac and Acer responded simultaneously.

"Just…nothing…but…you two…" she shook her head with a smile. "You're both just incredible, you know that?"

Zac sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Look out…" he prompted Acer to look at him.

"What?" Anessa squeezed his hand and then looked at Acer. "I am just so lucky to have such loving people in my life. And the fact that you both care so much about me…"

Zac looked at Acer and let his smile grow a bit wider, "Hormonal overload…hits at the most unexpected times and totally out of the blue…" his voice trailed off and Anessa whacked him on the shoulder. She then reached up with a napkin to dab at the wetness under her eyes.

"Shut-up. Remember you have to live with me for the next nine months and we're just barely getting started here. If you think this is bad…"

"Shhh, no, I didn't say anything like that, did I?" He looked to Acer for reassurance.

In return Ace shook his head. "No, what I heard was just a simple warning, I think. I believe your husband was just trying to let me know that I hadn't done anything wrong that would make you cry."

Zac nodded. "Exactly what I was going for. No, Sweetheart, you are correct. We love you and will do whatever we can to support you through the hormonal ups and downs. And yes, I plan to be here by your side for the next nine months and far beyond."

Acer covered his smirk with his hand, still living in a moment of slightly confused emotions. "This really is awesome news for you two. I'm … I'm really happy for you."

Anessa reached down into her bag and pulled out something that looked quite familiar to Acer. She laid the sleeper on the table and put a finger on the little black dog that was stitched on the front.

"You still have that?" Acer asked in amazement.

"Where'd that come from?" Zac wondered with a look between Anessa and Ace.

"Ace found it," Anessa's voice softened from the jovial one she had been using. "That night, all those years ago that we, well, I guess when we broke up… Before he knew that I wasn't pregnant, he had bought this and brought it to the house. The little pooch reminded him of Sadie." She glanced at Zac and held a small smile.

"I thought you would've gotten rid of that a long time ago. Especially when you two moved in together," Acer mentioned and leaned back in his chair, stealing another sip of his drink. "I figured you were just being nice to me, asking to keep it."

Anessa shook her head and tilted it to the side. "That was a turning point for us…for me. This one little outfit; it was a reminder of the time when my heart and my head finally found their way back together." She reached over to take Zac's hand and let her other rest on the tiny sleeper. "I've looked at this a lot more than you probably imagine, Ace. The feelings that stirred up inside of me – for a baby, for you, for Zac – I'm not sure that many young women get the same opportunities that I've had when it comes to love and children and men who mean so much to them…"

She blinked and looked at Acer with eyes that held her heart's feelings. "I want our baby to wear this home from the hospital. I want it to remind us," she looked toward Zac, "that a baby brought us back together," she stared at the soft material and the wedding ring on her hand, "and I don't ever want to forget the lifelong friendships that we gained because of that time in our lives."

Acer and Zac both watched her, trying to understand her emotions and read the meaning that she was trying to get through to them.

Anessa looked at them both. "I love you, Zac. I love you with my life and with our baby's life. I've loved every moment that we've had together and I cherish our time apart because it helped me realize just how much you mean to me."

Acer took a quiet, deep breath as he listened to her and witnessed the look between the husband and wife that assured him that the two were born to be together. He felt a slight blush on his face, almost hearing their hearts beat in perfect rhythm from across the table. He ducked his head when Anessa looked back at him.

"And you, Acer Roberts, you came into my life during that time. I convinced myself that I wasn't meant for love and was bound and determined not to let anyone else get into my heart."

Zac looked across the table at Acer but stayed silent. There was still a part of him that was jealous of the younger man. But as he listened to Anessa talking, he realized that perhaps jealousy wasn't something he needed to carry with him anymore. Perhaps he needed to be grateful to the other man that had found a spot in his wife's heart. After all, if not for him, the woman by his side might not have found her way back to him.

"I've told you this, Acer. I've told Zac the same thing. You weren't supposed to get to me. I told Ashley I'd go out with you a few times. I figured by the time I talked to you about my bummed love-life at that point, you would be ready to get rid of me. But you didn't. You listened, you supported, you encouraged and you kept checking on me. It drove me nuts that you cared, Ace. You know that? You weren't supposed to care. I wasn't supposed to care…"

Her voice trailed off as she noticed both men staring at their food and using their forks to pick at the French fries and vegetables on their plates.

"I'm rambling, aren't I?" She pinched Zac's arm lightly.

"It's okay," he admitted softly. With a glance at Acer he continued. "I think we both know what you're trying to say."

Zac wiped his hands on his napkin and then stretched his arm across the table. "I'm thankful that she found you, Acer – or you found her – when we broke up. I'm not sure what would've happened if you hadn't found a way to offer Anessa some stability… if the two of you hadn't … fallen in love."

Acer took Zac's hand and shook it kindly, firmly. The younger actor felt his cheeks burning again with the compliment Zac was offering.

"I'm sorry that you were hurt, in the long run. But you'll never know how much I appreciate what you did. I can't thank you enough." Zac nodded and let go of Acer's hand. He swallowed a bit roughly and placed one hand back in his lap as Anessa took his other and smiled at him.

Acer watched the two of them again. "I'm sorry, too," he offered. "Yes, I'm still a bit hurt that it wasn't me you chose," he admitted to Anessa. "But I can see that this is where you belong. And I never could've stood in the way of you being together. I hope that someday I can find what the two of you have. And I have to say thank you for teaching me what it's like to love. It's changed my life – and I wouldn't have it any other way."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**

"Something with an 'A'…" Anessa sat at one end of the couch with her feet propped in Zac's lap. "That way his nickname can be like 'Double A' or something like that."

Zac looked up at her from under his skeptical eyelids as he squeezed the arch of her bare foot and massaged the muscles there. "You only want an 'A' name because your name starts with an 'A', Anessa Anne Alexander," he attempted to scoff.

"That's not why," she tried to defend herself. "I just think it would be cute."

"Cute," Zac huffed slightly under his breath.

The baby name book had become a work of contention between them slightly. The first issue was the fact that Anessa was consistently looking at boy's names while Zac had become more accustomed to thinking their first child was going to be a girl.

He gently swiped the book from her hands and flipped to the pink pages. "Avery? Amanda? Ashley…no, not Ashley…one of those is enough…" he chuckled while Anessa laughed under her breath.

"No, not Ashley! Do you know what would happen to us if we did that? 'Aunt' Ashley would be here night and day. We'd never have a moment's peace. And her head would practically explode with the idea that we've named our child after her." Anessa shook her head with the thought.

"How about Adam, or Andrew, or…" she studied her husband's face as she suggested names, "what about…Austin?"

"You suddenly think the capital of Texas would be a nice name for our baby?" Zac took a slow breath and flipped the pages of the book.

"Humor me a little?" Anessa pouted, getting an eye roll from her husband in return.

"Fine," he mumbled and looked down at the pages, running his finger over the paper and stopping as he found what he wanted. "Huh," he again mumbled and read something more. Anessa watched his eyebrows raise and he pressed his lips together in thought.

"What'd you find?" She finally asked.

Zac looked at her and tilted his head from side to side. "Apparently it means 'great'. It's also short for Augustine, another city in Texas."

"And?" Anessa shrugged her shoulders and kept watching her husband who was holding back a bit of information.

"Well, if it's spelled 'A-u-s-t-Y-n' it's also a girl's name," he informed her. "Austyn Anne Alexander…" he rolled the name around his tongue and his mouth.

"Or Austin David Alexander if it's a boy," Anessa chimed in with a wry smile.

"Don't give me that smile," Zac attempted to sulk.

"Oh, you like it, admit it!" Anessa squirmed somewhat awkwardly in her eight-month-pregnant state. "I like that for a girl or a boy. I think we can make it work!" She edged her way across the sofa to sit beside her husband. She made herself comfortable and snuggled up next to him, nuzzling her nose and lips against his cheek, placing soft kisses against his five o'clock shadow.

"Kisses will get you nowhere in this discussion," he tried again.

"I'm carrying your child," Anessa whispered in his ear.

"That's unfair, I'll never be able to use that line against you," Zac leaned his head away from her slightly, exposing his neck which she moved to readily and began sucking on little bits of his skin.

"I'm carrying your child," she repeated before kissing the same spots where tiny red marks had formed from her previous work.

"That's not going to make me give in to your name suggestion," Zac worked to ignore the feelings she was actually invoking in him.

"But you like it. You can't deny that." Anessa raised her head to look at her husband's profile before taking his chin between her thumb and index finger and turning his face toward hers. Her eager face smiled into his and then placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Will you just admit that much? You like Austyn…or Austin. It's just a little different, not too far out there, not weird at all. And you've already made me agree that we will use my middle name if it's a girl because you want her to have my name. I vote we have to use your middle name if we have a boy. That's only fair." She stopped with her latest push to see if he had any reaction.

Zac sucked in another breath then turned and wrapped his arms around Anessa. He pulled her into his lap and pressed his hands against her pregnant belly. "This is frustrating, you know?" He massaged their baby's current home as he spoke to her, sounding less than frustrated.

"What is?" She asked innocently and leaned into her husband's embrace.

"This hold that you've had over me since day one. You say 'jump' and I jump. You say 'come on' and I follow you like a little puppy. You say you want ice cream and I'm bringing home 'Ben and Jerry's' by the gallon." He stopped and looked down at the baby bump where her hands were now pressed against his, both holding their unborn child.

Anessa squeezed his hands and tucked her head under Zac's chin. "Because you love me…" she suggested with a slight question in her voice.

"You're carrying my child; do you even have to ask?" He rested his chin on the top of her head. "You're pregnant with my baby and you like the name Austin."

"You like it, too, Zac. I saw it in your eyes when you read it in the book. But if you don't, tell me. We made this baby together. This is our life together. Picking a name – it's not just up to me…"

Zac held her tighter and pressed a kiss through her hair. "You, my emotional wife, know me too well." He adjusted their bodies until he could look into her eyes. "I do like the name. I may not be crazy about including my middle name in the mix. But it is my dad's name. He'll be thrilled that we're carrying on the family name – IF we have a boy. Which we aren't going to; at least not this time," he added with a wag of his eyebrows.

Anessa's eyes widened at his last hint, her smile less wide only because of his surprise suggestion. "I haven't even made it through this pregnancy yet!" She hesitantly accepted another kiss.

"But you're doing great. You're beautiful." Zac's face turned serious but his eyes looked into hers softly and lovingly. "Anessa Anne Alexander, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. And to see you pregnant, with our baby growing inside of you – it's made you a thousand times more beautiful in my eyes. Have I told you how grateful I am that you're even willing to share this with me? I can't imagine being a dad with anyone but you by my side."

Anessa leaned up and kissed him again, a hint of tears running down her cheeks. "Are you just trying to butter me up to agree to having another baby with you?"

Zac ducked his head. "No…yes?" He smiled where she could barely see it. "I guess we should see how this first kid turns out, huh?"

"You mean Austin?" She pressed her forehead against Zac's and grinned at him.

"Yes, I mean Austyn," he answered. "I think that'll be a cute name for our little girl." He grinned as Anessa rolled her eyes with their faces still meshed together.

"I love you," Anessa wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I wouldn't want to share a baby with anyone else…no matter what name we choose." She smiled and rubbed her nose against his. "And, by the way, this is actually the second pregnancy that you and I have shared together…and I do hope to share maybe one or even two more with you." She had to smile as Zac kissed her and laid her back on the couch hovering his face over hers.

"Am I a bad daddy because I'm ready to start this process all over again before the first one is even born?" He let one side of his lips curve upward into his mischievous smile.

"Well, Daddy, haven't you learned by now? We can enjoy the process right now without even worrying about getting pregnant! That's one of the benefits of already being _with child_." Anessa bit her bottom lip knowing exactly which direction her husband was turning their conversation.

"Can I tell you one more thing before you start talking to Austin?" Anessa caught Zac's eye before he inched her top upwards toward her also-increasing-in-size breasts.

"Hmmm?" He looked at her skeptically because of her tone but still rested his hands on her uncovered skin.

"The name Austin…I have to admit that it was a name that Acer mentioned years ago." She watched Zac's facial expression change only slightly. Zac had worked to improve his attitude regarding Anessa's former boyfriend. He never really disliked Acer, after all. But since the meeting when they had shared the news of their baby with Mr. Roberts, Zac had truly let go of some of the jealousy he had held.

He kissed her belly slightly, just to the right of Anessa's belly button, where he knew their baby tended to push a little foot toward the outside world. Zac then raised his head and looked into his wife's eyes. "Is that the only reason you mentioned it? Cause if that's the only reason then I might put up a real fight."

Anessa reached out to put a hand on his cheek and shook her head. "No, that's not the only reason. I really have been thinking about lots of names and I looked through the baby name book. You think I'm pulling things out of the blue, but I'm not. It means 'great'. It may sound simple but we both know our baby has that potential – the chance to be great at anything he or she tries. And it's a connection to a baby that could have been a big brother or sister to this one." She watched Zac's eyes turn a bit sad.

"I know," Anessa continued, "I know I shouldn't think of it like that but I don't want to forget that time in our lives. It was sad, but look what it's brought us to!" She smiled and waited for Zac to give her the shake of his head that she was fully expecting.

Instead his look changed to a smile and he went back to placing kisses around her belly button then nearly melted when the life inside of her moved and pressed against the exact spot where his lips were stationed.

He glanced up to make sure Anessa was watching him. "Hey, Austyn, my baby _girl_," Zac had to smile when Anessa shook her head at him. "Are you ready for a story? Wait, how do you like that name? Does it fit you? Do you think you can live with the name Austyn Anne?"

Zac placed another kiss against Anessa's skin and smiled almost insanely when the baby pressed back again, seemingly answering his question.

"Okay," Zac nuzzled his face against her pregnant stomach. "If you say so, my little princess, Austyn it is."

Anessa smiled at her husband, loving every moment of his touch and their baby's response. "I sure hope you aren't giving our son a complex by calling him baby girl and princess!"

"Excuse me, but our daughter seems to be enjoying my little chat and the pet names that I have for her. Now, if you'll let me get back to the story I was going to tell her…" Zac gave a pointed look in his wife's direction before gently massaging her middle and spreading more kisses over her exposed skin.

"Now, as I was saying, Austyn, Sweetheart… Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman who was found, sound asleep, in a bed at her friend's house. Her friend was a boy. And you see, that boy loved that girl so much that it made his heart race to see her there asleep. He was worried about her, scared that something was wrong and yet so happy that she was there because he hadn't seen her or talked to her in a really long time."

Zac kept his eyes pointed at Anessa's pregnant belly as he spoke. She held up her top so it wouldn't get in the way, and so he could be as close to his child as possible in that moment. She stayed silent and watched as he took only a small breath before pressing his lips to her skin and continuing.

"A few days later, the boy found out that his beautiful friend thought she was going to have a baby. That news nearly broke his heart because in his heart, the boy really, really wanted to be a daddy and he wanted his friend to be the mommy. He never thought that another boy could be the daddy. BUT, his friend told the boy that she still loved _him_ and in all of the confusion she had realized that they should still be boyfriend and girlfriend." He stopped and took another breath and paused to spread more kisses.

"It's a kinda confusing story, baby girl, but it turns out that the boy's friend didn't have a baby growing inside of her. That made her sad. It made the boy sad, too, but it made him realize that God sometimes, really does offer second chances. The boy looked at the girl completely differently after that. He learned that God had given him a second chance to love his good friend and for her to love him; and a few years later they got their second chance to have a baby together."

He looked up toward Anessa, fully expecting the tears that he saw in her eyes. No matter how many times he told that story to their unborn baby it didn't get old and it made her cry.

"You, Austyn Alexander, are that baby. I am the boy and your mommy is that girl."

Anessa reached out to run her hand through Zac's hair. "And we're going to live happily ever after, right Daddy?" She put on her best childlike voice through the sniffles that accompanied her tears.

Zac simply rested his hand over their child and moved until he could kiss the tears away from her eyes. "We're sure gonna try, My Love. Right here, right now, I'm certain that we're more ready than not for our 'happily ever after'."

**ReadyOrNotReadyOrNot**


End file.
